


Firsts

by EmptySky (kitekat1)



Series: Firsts [1]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-23
Updated: 2017-08-25
Packaged: 2018-11-04 04:04:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 62,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10982985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitekat1/pseuds/EmptySky
Summary: A series of one-shots with first-time moments for Danny and Grace.Includes Grace's milestones as she grows up - learning to ride a bike, starting school, adjusting to her parents' divorce or going to collegeas well as Danny's first day in Hawaii, being caught by Grace with a girlfriend, or Grace taking care of sick/injured Danny.





	1. Chapter 01

**Author's Note:**

> ‘Firsts’ written by EmptySky, betaed by whotellsyourstory and Celeste6 (thank you both). This is a series of 26 one-shots. I'll post every Tuesday and Friday.

** Chapter 01: First time Danny holds Grace **

_Danny: 25 years old_

Danny can’t recall a time in his life when he had felt this powerless and weak. He’d had his share of tough moments, including some risky situations during his rookie time on patrol, but as hard as he’s trying, he can’t think of _anything_ that would compare to this level of anxiety. He feels sick to his stomach and has to swallow a few times to keep the nausea at bay. His entire body is trembling and Danny is glad he’s already sitting on a chair because he’s not sure his weak knees would hold him up at this point. That he has not slept in roughly forty-seven hours is not helping him either. He’s in way over his head and it’s completely terrifying. A breathless moan and the intensifying pain in his hand bring him back to the present and the situation in front of him. He takes a deep breath and forces a calm smile on his face.

“You’re doing great, honey, not much longer,” Danny rephrases what the doctor told them a short while ago and brings their entwined hands up to his face, kissing Rachel’s hand.

Rachel looks at her husband in exhaustion. Her hair clings to her skin from perspiration, her face is flushed from exertion, and there are dark circles under her eyes. She’s clearly uncomfortable.

"I am tired,” Rachel exhales and scrunches up her face as another contraction hits her, the one hand not squeezing the fingers of her husband lightly cradling her impressive bump. “I’m so tired, Daniel.”

“I know you are,” Danny nods and winces at the tight grip his wife has on him.

He won’t bring up that he came home from a night shift to find his wife in early stages of labor, and that he hasn’t left her side for the whole thirty-six hours now. While she has at least had a nap in between some of the lighter contractions, Danny has been too nervous to even close his eyes. Because after all, Rachel is doing the hard and painful part of delivering their child. His fatigue and his sprained - possibly even broken - hand are of no comparison and irrelevant.

“We’re almost there, Rach. I know the pregnancy hasn’t always been easy for you, I wish I could have been there for every single moment you needed me. I’m sorry for all the times I couldn’t because of work. But I promise you, we’re in this thing together. I love you. Squeeze my hand some more if you need to, yell at me if it helps, I don’t care. You’ve dealt with everything so well and you almost did it. You can do the rest.”

Rachel nods, tears in her eyes. Whether they come from what he said or from the pain, Danny doesn’t know. She focuses on his face, as if she’s drawing strength from his presence alone. She seems a bit calmer, so he must hide the fact that he is a mess very well.

The contractions come back to back now. Danny has zero clue of what to expect, but seeing as the doctor has taken up permanent residence at the end of the gurney with a nurse on each side, he imagines his child will be born rather sooner than later.

“Mrs. Williams, you’re fully dilated now. The baby’s heartbeat is very strong and everything is progressing nicely,” the doctor informs them with an encouraging nod, “You’ll feel the urge to push soon. Do as your body tells you and you’ll get to hold your baby. It’s been a long labor, I know, but I promise you, we’re nearly there.”

Rachel groans and lets her head drop back onto the pillow, focusing on breathing through the pain.

“I cannot believe your mother did this four times!”

“My appreciation for both of you has skyrocketed during the last hours, believe me. She’ll stop by first thing in the morning, if she isn’t already waiting outside. Come to think of it, she hasn’t texted me for an hour. She probably hijacking the labor ward as we speak.”

Rachel laughs, but then takes in a sharp intake of air and crushes Danny’s abused hand as tightly as she can, her other hand fisted in the sheets she’s lying on. Danny winces, as he’s pretty sure his pinky just broke, but lets his wife hold on as tightly as she needs.

“I think it’s time. I’ve got to push,” she grunts and on command, pushes as hard as she can.

It takes all of Danny’s willpower not to pass out. This is it. He’s going to be a father. He’ll not only be responsible for providing for his wife, but he’ll have a child to take care of for the rest of his life. In just moments, the life he’s become accustomed to will be over. There’ll be sleepless nights, and tantrums if the child doesn’t want to eat their spinach, and more sleepless nights once the kid starts dating, and God, what if he messes up and they drop out of school to pursue a career as a criminal and end up hating him? He has longed for this moment ever since he realized that Rachel was the one for him, he not only wanted to marry her, but start a family. The moment has finally come and he is freaking out, they won’t be two but three - and then Rachel falls back against the pillow with a sob and _the baby is there!_

“Congratulations, it’s a girl!”

The soft wails coming from this tiny creature are the most beautiful sound Danny has ever heard. Nothing makes sense anymore, and yet, everything suddenly makes sense at once. This red tiny shriveled thing is his. She keeps crying as the smiling nurse takes her aside, probably to get her checked over, cleaned up, weighed, and measured. Danny follows her with his eyes, his heart warming as his little girl squints owlishly at the bright light.

“Oh Daniel,” Rachel smiles a radiant smile, and despite the tears in her eyes and her sweaty splotchy face, she is still beautiful as ever. “Danny, she’s here.”

Danny returns the smile and gets up on shaky legs to lean over the bed. He strokes strands of hair back from Rachel’s face and brushes his thumb lovingly over her cheeks. He leans in and the two share an intimate kiss. Their foreheads still touch as they look over to the side to watch their daughter getting swaddled in a white blanket and then brought over.

Rachel gets to hold her first, but Danny’s fine with it. He doesn’t trust himself not to drop her, feeling shaky from the sheer amount of emotions flooding through him. Rachel presses a soft kiss to their daughter’s head and they both take in every feature of her little face.

The nurse comes over and helps Rachel adjust her position and her gown, so their daughter can be fed. The meek wails finally stop as the baby latches on and her hunger is appeased.

“She is so beautiful,” Danny remarks as he watches in awe and carefully strokes his index finger over her head. “Her skin’s so soft.”

Rachel looks up at her husband and places a gentle kiss on his temple.

“Thank you.”

For a moment, Danny wonders what she means, but then he understands. Together, they created the most important thing in their lives. No matter what happens, this girl will forever connect them in a way nothing else could.

Then, she’s done feeding and making soft, content noises. Danny’s exhausted after work, the long labor, the stress of the impending birth and the emotional high of meeting his daughter - so he doesn’t understand why Rachel’s shifting so awkwardly until he suddenly has the baby cradled in his arms. He holds her as instructed, glad the nurse is there to direct his hands. He thanks her but doesn’t look up. His gaze is solely focused on his daughter.

“Hey there,” Danny whispers and brings her up slightly, kissing her forehead softly. He smiles when she uncoordinatedly brings up a tiny fist to her face. “I’m your daddy. Did my beard tickle you? I’m sorry. I’ll get rid of it in the morning. Your mom hates it, anyway. Now, your mom, she’s something else. You took your time before you decided to come out. Thirty-six hours. And your mom did not complain once. Don’t you forget that. We both love you so very much.”

As Danny softly talks on, feeling Rachel gently rub his arm with affection, his daughter appears soothed by his voice. She has spent the last minute looking up at him and is now on her way to falling asleep, giving a hearty yawn and closing her eyes. 

“Sleep,” he whispers, “I’ll take care of you.”

He knows, as he holds her, that she is the most precious thing he has. He’ll protect her with his life. He’s surprised at the intensity of his feelings. He loves Rachel with all his heart, but he is amazed at how much he can really love. And despite her being not even ten minutes old, she has already saved him in ways she cannot possibly fathom. She has given him a new purpose in life.

Danny shifts her a bit to the side, so Rachel can touch her as well. He isn’t sure he’ll ever be able to hand her back over to someone else.

“Do we have a name for baby girl?” The doctor asks, having stayed in the back so as to not disturb the new parents meeting their child.

Danny looks over at his wife. Their eyes meet for a split second, and there is no communication needed. Rachel smiles and nods.

“We do. Her name is Grace.”

***


	2. Chapter 02

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First time Grace says 'Danno'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ‘Firsts’ written by EmptySky, betaed by whotellsyourstory and Celeste6 (thank you both)

** Chapter 02: First time Grace says ‘Danno’  **

_Danny: 27 years old_

_Grace: 2 years old_

 

“Hey, babe, I’m home!”

Danny closes and locks the door to the small but cozy apartment he and Rachel had moved into shortly after they found out they were expecting a baby. Their baby is two years old already and has long since conquered their home. He places the key in a wooden bowl they keep on the sideboard in the narrow hallway and kicks off his shoes, shoving them semi-neatly next to the others with his sock-clad foot. Danny shrugs the coat off his tired shoulders and hangs it on a peg on the wall. As he loosens the tie around his neck, slender arms encircle his waist from behind. He turns around and comes face to face with Rachel, whom he greets with a quick kiss on the lips and then engulfs in a tight embrace.

“Hello, Officer Williams. How was your day? Did you catch any bad guys?”

“Nah, today was a bummer. All we did was redirect traffic after a pile-up on Raymond Boulevard and we had a ridiculous amount of drunk people - who thankfully missed me when they threw up. I thought the day was looking up when we saw a guy wanted for battery, his car was right in front of us. We chased the dirtbag through the whole district. We had him. I was just about to put on the handcuffs when some suits from Jersey City appeared out of nowhere and claimed jurisdiction. Apparently he’d fled when they tried to arrest him. They heard we were in pursuit and followed us, but they let me do the dirty work. So that sucked. You’ll be glad to know there was not a single bullet fired. So, I guess today could have been worse.”

“I’m very relieved to hear that, indeed. It sounds like a good day to me.” Rachel’s hazel eyes are sparkling. “I like it when you come home to us the same way you left in the morning.”

“You know I’m always careful out there. But enough about me, how was your day?”

“Well, it was slightly busier than yours, but you know, the same as always. I did some housework and then took Grace to play outside. I wouldn’t want to change it, though. I want to spend as much time with her as I can before going back to work. Now, did you already eat or would you like some dinner?”

“Dinner would be great. Do we have food around? I don’t want you to cook though! We can order in.”

“‘Do we have food’, what kind of question is that? Of course we’ve got food, Daniel. We saved you some Panzerotti.”

Danny looks at his wife in awe. “You made me Panzerotti? Really? I love you, you know that?”

“I love you, too. But you only say that because I’m enabling your consumption of unhealthy fast food.”

“That may or may not be true… It’s also because you’re the hottest girl anywhere from the US to England,” Danny chuckles and lets his hands roam over Rachel’s bottom suggestively.

“Oh shush, will you?” Rachel brushes him off but smiles, clearly flattered. “Now go and get changed. In the meantime, I’ll heat up dinner for you.”

“Thank you,” Danny calls after her as she disappears into the small kitchen to put his plate into the microwave and set the table.

Danny heads for their bedroom and begins the routine of stripping down and changing into more comfortable clothes. He places the worn clothes in the hamper and kneels down in front of the small safe in the closet. He enters the combination into the display and opens the metal door when the safe unlocks. He takes out the lock box he always keeps inside. He opens it by adjusting the row of cogs to the correct combination and reaches for his service gun by the hamper. With a swift movement, Danny removes the magazine from the gun and places both gun and magazine into the lock box. He closes and locks it, putting it inside the safe, which he also locks.

It seems like a complex and time-consuming process, but Danny goes out of his way to ensure that everyone is as safe as can be. With his routine, he has made sure that there is no way Grace can ever come across his gun, especially in light of the fact that she is entirely mobile and snoops around her parents’ things whenever she has the chance. He has to take his service gun home with him, as he doesn’t always have time to head to the precinct before starting his duty. And though he personally has an aversion to guns, he knows that Rachel feels safer knowing he has his weapon in reach, should the need for it arise. She doesn’t necessarily want to see it, though. And Danny is fine with that.

“Dinner’s ready!”

As Danny closes the closet and gets up from his position on the floor, he hears little feet quickly padding over the wooden floor and running towards him. He breaks out into a huge grin and turns around, getting down on one knee again to catch his daughter in his arms. He swiftly lifts her up and showers her face with kisses. The girl squeals happily and clings onto his neck.

“Daddy home!”

“Yes Monkey, Daddy’s home. I missed you! Can I get a kiss?”

He laughs at the slobbery kiss she places on his cheek and wipes his face dry with the hem of his t-shirt.

“Thank you. Did you miss me, too? Were you a good girl for your mom today?”

As if Danny opened up a valve, Grace starts babbling. Not everything she says is intelligible, but Danny’s listening attentively and catches snippets of actual words. He nods at what he hopes is the right place for a nod and encourages her to tell him more. With her on his arm, Danny walks into the kitchen and sits down at the table. He keeps Grace sitting on one thigh, not ready to let her go after not having seen her all day. Rachel places the plate she fixed and a glass of water in front of him and sits down on the chair next to him.

“She’s very talkative today. The only time she wasn’t speaking was when she was busy playing and when she had her nap.”

Danny looks at his daughter with a wistful smile, disliking every minute they have to spend apart now that she’s developing so fast.

“I think Gracie was telling me about her day. Something about a duck?”

“We had fun, didn’t we, Grace? We did some laundry at home and she loved playing with the bedsheets. She kept pulling them over her head and pretending to disappear. Then we went to the park to watch the ducks. On our way home we walked by the firehouse to see if your father was there - he wants you to call him, by the way. Apparently your mother’s making lasagna on Sunday and they want to know if we’re coming over too. I wouldn’t mind if we went. And Grace had a bath just before you came home. Also, she made a big discovery today.”

“Alright, I’ll call Dad later. She did?” Danny raises an eyebrow at Rachel and takes a big bite of his turnover. “Thank you, honey, they taste really good.”

“You’re welcome. I should fix you a salad tomorrow to balance out the calories. Oh, don’t look at me like that. I know you’ll be eating out anyway. Now Grace, what’s Grandpa’s name?”

“Grandpa Eddie!” Grace squeals and looks up at Danny happily, despite her trouble pronouncing the ‘r’ correctly.

“I think she finally understood that we have names.”

“Aren’t you a smart little girl?” Danny beams and tickles her until she’s wildly giggling, hands-down the best sound there is. “Do you know Grandma’s name?”

“Grandma,” Grace says once she catches her breath, “Grandma Clara!”

“That’s right! Do you know your name, Monkey?”

“No Monkey. Grace!”

“Grace is right! But what are you talking about? Of course you’re my monkey. You practically inhale bananas and you cling to me like a chimpanzee. End of discussion. Do you know Mommy’s name?”

“My mommy Rachel.” The little girl smiles adorably and blows Rachel a kiss.

Rachel bends over and places a kiss on her daughter’s cheek. Then, she looks up and laughs. “You saved the best for the last. I swear, I had nothing to do with it… Can you say Daddy’s name?”

“Daddy Danno!”

Danny kisses the tip of her nose and shakes his head in amusement.

“Not quite. It’s Danny. Say Danny?”

Grace lifts her hands and gently pats them against his cheeks. “Danno!”

“We practiced, I promise you. I don’t know why she does it,” Rachel explains, stealing a turnover from Danny’s plate. “She says ‘daddy’ without a problem, so your name shouldn’t be that far off. She just won’t say it correctly.”

Danny holds Grace close and breathes in her scent, placing another kiss on her cheek.

“Danno’s fine. Close enough for me.”

***


	3. Chapter 03

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First time Grace rides a bike

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ‘Firsts’ written by EmptySky, betaed by whotellsyourstory and Celeste6.

**Chapter 03: First time Grace rides a bike**

_Danny: 28 years old_

_Grace: 3 years old_

 

“Alright Gracie, let’s do one last check and then you’re ready to go!”

“Okay Danno, but then you really have to let me do it.”

“What are you in a hurry for, huh? Safety always comes first, remember that. Don’t roll your eyes at me, you’re too young to do that. It gives me nightmares on what to expect when you’re a teenager. Please don’t grow up. Now, back to our check list. Where are your kneepads?”

“I don’t need kneepads!” Grace places her hands on her hips in exasperation, something she has seen her mother do before. “I want to learn to ride my bike. It’s not skating like Eric does.” 

“Better safe than sorry. I don’t want you out without protection.” 

As he says it, Danny cringes. Thankfully, Grace is too young to understand that this might not have been entirely appropriate. He thinks he can hear his brother snickering from the top of their parents’ driveway, where he’s cleaning out the car after a wild night with his college fellows, but he doesn’t turn to look. 

Grace points to her head with a frown. “But, Daddy, didn’t you see my helmet?”

“Of course I saw your helmet, I bought it for you, remember? You’re even prettier with the butterflies on top of your head.”

“Mommy said that I need my helmet if I want to ride the bike. She didn’t say I needed anything else. Can we start now, Daddy? Please?”

Danny sighs and nods, chuckling when Grace beams at him and enthusiastically bounces to her new children’s bicycle. She stops right in front of it and and looks back, making sure that her father is following her. She reaches for the handles when she’s certain that he’s right behind her and turns up the kickstand. Danny sees uncertainty appear on her face when she realizes that her bike is now rather unsteady once she tries to get on. He ponders whether offering his help would annoy his daughter, as she’s going through an independent phase. Grace beats him to it.

“Danno, can you help me get up, please?”

Danny wedges the back wheel in between his legs and holds it steady as the girl lifts her leg up to get in position for the first unaided bicycle ride of her life - no stabilizers, no parents’ hands. Grace shifts and sits down on the seat, then tilts her head up and looks at her father. Her tongue is peeking out in concentration and her dimples are showing. The helmet looks huge on her head, but the sales assistant assured them that it is the right size. Danny gently rests his hand on top of one of the huge purple butterflies.

“Do you remember the rules? You’ll stay on this street only. If there’s a car, you immediately drive to the side and get off your bike. And no matter how much fun you’re having, you’ll listen to the adults once we say it’s time to come inside. Okay? Good. Are you ready, Gracie? You gotta kick those pedals, but we’ll start out slowly. I’ll hold on until you feel you can do it.”

Grace nods eagerly, and off they go. Danny holds onto the back of the seat and the side of the handlebars, gently. Grace is very shaky at first, needing physical correction from Danny as they go. She quickly gets the hang of it, though, and holds the bike steady.

“Wow, you’re doing it, Monkey, look at you,” Danny praises her as they make their way up and down the traffic-calmed street in front of his parents’ house.

“You can let go,” Grace pipes up a short time later, sounding sure of herself.

Though Danny knows it’s a perfectly normal step for a child to learn how to ride a bicycle by themselves, he feels a small stab at his heart. It’s just one more thing his daughter won’t need him for anymore. But she’s so happy and elated that he smiles and does as she wishes.

“Letting go now… That’s it. Hold the handle steady!”

Grace is riding by herself and cheering proudly. She manages fine for about six seconds before the inevitable happens: the bike tilts to the side and she falls down on the hard concrete, half-buried underneath her bike. 

Danny rushes to her side and gently lifts her up, sets her down on her feet and kneels down in front of her. He remains calm, so as not to set Grace off unnecessarily, and looks her over. He takes in the scraped hands and the dirt on her knees, and makes a soothing noise when he sees the first tears welling up in her eyes. 

“Are you okay, Gracie?” 

Grace’s bottom lip trembles, and a tear rolls down her cheek. She too inspects her hands and is upset to see the skin scratched. 

“It stings a bit.” 

Danny takes her hands in his and blows some air on them. He finishes tending her by placing a soft kiss on each palm. 

“Does it feel better now? Yeah? That’s good.” 

“I didn’t do very good.” 

“That’s not true. You did really well for the first time. You stayed up longer than I did on my first try when I was your age. I fell down the moment your grandpa took his hands off my bike.”

“You fell down, too?”

Danny nods. “Everyone does when they’re still learning. That’s why Mommy and I insisted on the helmet. I don’t know anyone who did not fall on their first try. Uncle Matty fell down so many times we weren’t sure he’d ever get the hang of it. He was a really clumsy kid.”

Graces exhales noisily and looks down at the bicycle, slightly disconcerted.

“What are you thinking, baby?”

“It’s harder than I thought it would be.”

“It just takes practice, as do most things in life.”

Grace wipes away her tears and eyes the bike with a newfound determination, then looks over to her father, who’s still kneeling next to her.

“Can we try again?”

Danny knows his daughter. He knows that she is as stubborn and determined as he is when he wants something, and that she has the patience of her mother. He knows that by the end of the afternoon, Grace will most likely be riding the bike on her own. But until then, he’s happy to hold on as long as she needs him to.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. Constructive criticism is appreciated :)


	4. Chapter 04

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First time Grace loses a tooth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Firsts ' written by EmptySky, betaed by whotellsyourstory and Celeste6.

** Chapter 04: First time Grace loses a tooth  **

_Danny: 29 years old_

_Grace: 4 years old_

 

Danny realizes his daughter is growing up way too fast during one of her rare visits to the precinct. He’s out on the streets most of the time, and the precinct is not the best environment for a four-year-old, so she doesn’t come by very often. But when she does it’s a welcome change in his daily routine. If he’s at the station house, he’s filing reports and doing paperwork related to the cases he encountered while on patrol. If he’s being honest, any reason is good enough to take a break from filing reports, though he prefers Grace over anything else. This time, it’s a surprise visit. One minute he’s rummaging through the desk in search of a working pen, and the next his mischievously smiling daughter is standing right next to him.

"Grace! Monkey, what are you doing here? How did you get here?” 

He hugs her tightly and sits her down on top of the desk, brushing aside the messy array of papers with one hand.

“I came with Mommy because I have a surprise for you!” 

“You do?” Danny raises an eyebrow and looks around, not seeing his wife anywhere. “But where’s your mom?” 

Grace avoids looking at her father and abashedly focuses on a spot on the ground, especially when he sternly asks her if she ran off and left her mother’s side. His question is answered moments later when a fellow officer leads Rachel through the row of desks and over to where Danny is sitting. 

“There you go, Rachel. Don’t worry about it, this is the safest place for a kid to run around. We take care of our own.” 

Danny claps the officer on the shoulder firmly and greets Rachel with a long kiss. He subtly flips off his partner, who’s whistling at the display of affection. 

“Hey babe! What are you doing here?” 

Rachel brushes her hair behind her ears and eyes her daughter with an unhappy expression. 

“I’m so sorry, Danny. Grace had something to show you and I suggested we come and visit. I figured you’d be here with your shift ending soon, but I forgot to call ahead. Grace saw you before I did and she just ran off. Don’t you do that again, Grace! I was very worried!” 

“Sorry, Mommy,” Grace apologizes, still looking ashamed. 

“You know we have to check if Daddy has time before we walk over. We don’t want to disturb him when he’s with others or for him to get in trouble with his boss.” 

Danny snorts. “Nah, the Chief won’t say anything. At least not about her coming over. He loves Grace. She reminds him of his own granddaughter. But your mom’s right, Gracie. Next time, just go to the info desk and wait until I come to you, okay?” 

“Okay.” 

Rachel leans against Danny and squeezes his hand lightly in appreciation of the support. The two share a smile before focusing back on their daughter. 

“So, what was the surprise?” 

Immediately, Grace perks up and swings her leg excitedly. 

“Guess what, Daddy?”

“Tell me!” 

Grace doesn’t speak, but opens her mouth wide open instead. She flashes him her teeth and points to a spot inside. One of her lower front teeth is missing. 

“No way!” Danny exclaims and leans in closer to inspect the gap. “When did that happen? They were all there when I left this morning. Did you pull it out yourself?” 

“No, I kept wiggling it with my finger and it became really loose, and then Mommy made me a sandwich for lunch and the tooth got stuck inside. It didn’t even hurt!” 

“Awesome. Hey Dave,” Danny beckons his partner over. “Look at that. My baby’s lost her first tooth. I still remember the sleepless nights until the first tooth finally came through. Man, that was no fun.” 

“Kids grow up so fast.” The senior officer nods knowingly and gives Grace a thumbs up. “My youngest will start college next year and then all our kids are out of the house. Enjoy it, Danny, she’ll be a teenager before you know it.” 

Danny gives him a dark look. “If you want me to have a panic attack today, keep on going. You’re doing a good job so far.” 

His partner laughs and stops the rant before it has a chance to begin with a wave of his hand. “Relax, Williams. You’ve still got time. Why don’t you finish that last report and then head home? We’re off in half an hour anyway. You probably gotta get things ready for when the tooth fairy comes tonight.” 

Grace turns to her parents with wide eyes. 

“Do you think the tooth fairy will come?” 

“Are you joking? It’s your first tooth! I’m sure she’ll bring something really special to replace the tooth. Here, sit down with your mom while I finish writing my report.” Danny places her back on her feet, motioning to the chairs on the other side of the desk. 

Grace sits down next to her mother, apparently deep in thought. 

“But Danno, you always lock the door with the key and the bolt. And you close my window at night. How will she get into our apartment?” 

For a short moment, Danny doesn’t know what to say. He didn’t expect the question, though he should have. Grace is always asking questions these days, wanting to know every little detail. He even halts his search for a working pen as he frantically wracks his brain in search of a suitable answer. Rachel comes to his aid. 

“Well Gracie, for one, she’s the tooth fairy. She knows her way around. If she does have trouble coming inside, she’ll probably knock and then Daddy will let her in. We don’t let in anyone after midnight, but I’m sure we can make an exception in this case.” 

“Can you make an expection, Daddy?” Grace stumbles over the word. 

“For you, of course.” 

“Thanks!” Grace all but flings her arms around Danny and Rachel’s necks before settling back down on the chair. “I wonder what she’ll bring me. I bet she’s really pretty, too.” 

Rachel takes pity on her husband, who’s still rummaging around in countless drawers. She reaches into her handbag and takes out a pen to hand it over. 

“Thanks Rachel, still always prepared for anything, I see. No wonder that handbag’s so heavy.... I bet the tooth fairy is already on her way, she lives really far away. You can’t wait up for her, though. She’s shy.” 

Paperwork is finished quickly. Once the desk is tidied up and the reports are filed away, Danny heads for the men’s locker room and changes into street clothes. Not long after, the three of them leave the station and walk towards the parking lot. Danny and Rachel are holding hands and smile at Grace, who’s skipping a few feet ahead of them. 

“Look at what I can do!” Grace instructs her father as he buckles her into the car seat and gives him another toothy grin, this time pushing her tongue through the gap. “Doesn’t this look funny?” 

“It does. I’m so glad you stopped by today and showed me.” 

Every time Danny looks into the rear-view mirror during the ride home, he sees Grace poking her tongue out through the gap and giggling. Yep, today has been good.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd be glad to receive some feedback so I can improve my writing.


	5. Chapter 05

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First time Grace gets lost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ‘Firsts’ written by EmptySky, betaed by whotellsyourstory and Celeste6.

**Chapter 05: First time Grace gets lost**

 

_Danny: 29 years old_

_Grace: 4 years old_

 

“Are you serious? You really want to discuss work again? Now? Can’t you just let it be, just for one day? Is it too much to ask?”

“For the love of God, Daniel, keep your voice down! People are already staring!”

“Let them stare. I don’t give a damn about others right now, Rachel. Is that why you’re bringing it up here? So I’ll be quiet?”

“Oh, as if I didn’t know already that that doesn’t work. I’ve known you for eight years and you’ve never minded your manners when you were being unreasonable and completely stubborn.”

“ _I’m_ being stubborn? Excuse me, who’s bringing up the same topic over and over again? Give it a rest!”

“Mommy, can we go see the big teddy bear again?”

“Not now, sweetheart.” Rachel doesn’t take her eyes off her husband, as the three of them stand in the middle of Newport Centre after a family day spent together at the mall. “I keep bringing it up because it’s all I can think about these days. I’m your wife, Daniel. I have the right to worry.”

“You worry about nothing! And you couldn’t have waited until we were in the car, or back home? Way to go, ruin a perfectly fine afternoon!” Danny shakes his head in dismay, giving Rachel a hard stare.

As far as Danny is concerned, the day could not have been going better until Rachel brought up what they’d been arguing about for three weeks already. They had slept in, as neither of them worked today, had a calm and quiet breakfast together and spontaneously decided to go shopping in Jersey City. They’d gotten a number of new things, like clothes and toys, all stowed away in the many bags at their feet. They had just been considering getting some ice cream to reward Grace for her patience as they had visited store after store, when Rachel had breached the dreaded subject. Danny had stopped dead in his tracks, which was why they were now the focus of the attention of other curious shoppers passing them by.

“It’s not ‘nothing’. All you deal with are felonies! Your cases are more dangerous than ever. And please don’t raise your voice, I can hear you quite well.”

“I was beginning to think you were hard of hearing because I’ve been repeating the same thing for nearly a month,” Danny grumbles, but lowers his voice a few decibels. “I’m a lot safer now than I was on patrol. I’m not called out without knowing what to expect, so no more bad surprises. I’ve got a lot more control over the job this way. And my new partner is very professional and experienced, he has my back, one hundred percent.”

“And yet, I’ve washed your own blood out of your shirts three times already. What you told me about your days scared me, and that you stopped doing even that after our last argument does not put my mind at ease either. I don’t know how you can deal with the horrible things you see.”

“Daddy, I want to go see the teddy.” Grace tugs at the leg of Danny’s pants and looks up at him with a hopeful look, frowning when he brushes her off like her mother did before.

“In a bit, Grace, okay? Well, Rachel, you knew what my job was from the beginning. Hell, I was wearing the uniform the day we met. I’m in law enforcement. I don’t sell flowers or deliver the mail or teach in college. I meet people when they’re having a really bad day and try to solve whatever problem it is they have. Of course it’s not always a walk in the park. But I’m good at it, and I do it because I like it. And it’s one thing I can do to actively keep the environment my family lives in safer.”

“Is it worth it if you don’t get to see your family anymore because of the job?”

Danny looks at Rachel, thunderstruck, and takes a few moments to find the words he’s looking for.

“Are you leaving me because I got promoted?”

“No, absolutely not.” Rachel vehemently shakes her head. “Why would you even think that? What I meant was that we don’t get to see each other as much as we did before. Your hours are different now, and you work more overall. Grace is starting school soon and then I’ll go back to working full-time at the firm. What happens then, Danny?”

“Mommy, I really want to go…”

“Nothing will change! We’ve discussed this already. You’ll leave for work in the morning and I’ll get our daughter ready for school. Depending on the caseload, one of us picks her up when school is out. If neither of us can go, my mom and my siblings will be happy to step in. It’ll all work out. There are countless other law enforcement officers who make it work. I don’t understand where all of your worries are coming from this suddenly.”

Rachel leans against the grey stone column behind her, feeling very tired.

“I didn’t think things would be this way.”

“How could you not know? We talked about _all_ of this, in detail, _before_ I handed in the application for the vacancy. We decided this together, remember? I didn’t spring this on you. I explained to you what the job as detective entails, what the hours are like... We can really use the extra money, too.”

“I do not care about the money. Once I work full-time again instead of half-time, we’ll have more anyway.”

“Call me old-fashioned, but I want to be able to provide for my family. Regardless of whether you work or not. And before you question that too, I’m glad you’re working. Whatever makes you happy makes me happy in return.” Danny shakes his head. “Rachel, seriously. Before my promotion, do you remember the last time we went out on a date, or just out for food, without needing a special occasion? I don’t, and my memory is excellent. Honey, just this month alone, we went out twice. For no other reason than that I love you, even though you’re driving me crazy at the moment. Look at all the things we bought today. We did that without needing to go without anything.”

“I know. I do appreciate that part. I do not, however, like the fact that you’re facing so many dangers on a daily basis.”

Danny runs his hands over his face in frustration. They’re moving in circles, once again, without getting anywhere. It’s tiring and he doesn’t know how they’ll reach an agreement, or a compromise, that makes both of them happy. His good mood has evaporated entirely. He’d love nothing more than to take Rachel and Grace home immediately and then get some fresh air by himself, but they still promised their daughter ice cream. Danny suddenly inhales sharply when he realizes he can’t see his daughter anywhere. He looks around frantically.

“Where’s Grace?”

Rachel’s eyes widen, and she too turns to check the crowded mall, her hands coming up to rest clasped together on her chest when she can’t spot the girl anywhere.

“Oh God, Danny…”

“Grace!” Danny shouts and searches the area. “Gracie!”

“Grace!” Rachel joins him in calling for their daughter, and quickly snatches up the bags she kept at her feet while they stood and argued. Argued while their daughter disappeared without them noticing. How could they have been so careless? “Where is she? Grace!”

Danny’s heart sinks as the minutes go by. They have searched the top floor twice, walking up and down on both sides of the row of columns each time.

“Oh Danny… She wouldn’t have gone downstairs…?”

“No, she knows not to do that.”

“But she knows not to wander off, too,” Rachel points out, tears in her eyes. “What if someone took her?”

And just like that, Danny’s job takes over and images of missing and dead children shoot through his mind. He shakes his head, forbidding himself to think about that. He needs a clear head. He’s a detective, this is what he does for a living.

“She wanted to go somewhere. When we were arguing, what did she say?”

“She liked the bear they had at the toy store,” Rachel remembers and hurries after her husband, as Danny immediately turns and rushes to the store they visited before.

Inside, there’s a small group of children surrounding the gigantic brown teddy bear, the store’s magnet for visitors. Danny scans them one by one. He cannot see Grace’s bun with the pink hair tie anywhere. Rachel and Danny split up and walk down aisle after aisle until they meet in the middle, reduced to nervous wrecks when both come up empty.

“Where could she have gone?” Rachel is trembling slightly. “I swear, once we find her, I’m never letting her out of my sight again. Grace knows not to walk off without us.”

A thought crosses Danny’s mind and he reaches for Rachel’s hand, pulling her forward.

“She also knows what to do in case she gets lost - let’s go to the information desk. If she isn’t there, we’ve got to alert security anyways.”

He hopes it won’t come to that, because he doesn’t know what he’ll do if she isn’t there. He’ll never forgive himself if something happened to his daughter because he was too busy arguing with his wife to watch his little girl.

They run through the crowd, occasionally bumping against others and continuing on without an apology. Danny almost drops to his knees in relief when he sees Grace standing at the information desk, holding the hand of a mall’s security agent, sobbing and taking harsh gulps of air. Her crying only picks up when she sees her frantic parents rushing towards her.

Rachel reaches her first and drops all bags to the ground carelessly, sweeping Grace up in her arms and holding her tightly. Danny hugs them both, with Grace in the middle, and places a loving kiss on Grace’s head.

“We’ve got you, baby. It’s alright, we’re here.”

“I’m sorry, Mommy! I wanted to see the teddy bear but you weren’t listening to me,” Grace sobs into Rachel’s shoulder. “I thought I could just go see the bear really quick, but when I came back you were gone! I’m sorry, Daddy! thought you left without me!”

Danny’s heart is slowly returning to its normal rhythm and he thanks the security officer for taking care of the child.

“We’d never leave without you, sweetheart. We’re not angry. We’re so happy you’re okay,” Rachel says and rocks Grace from side to side gently to calm her down. “If anything, we are sorry for not looking after you better. Hush Gracie, it’s alright.”

They know they’ll have to talk to her once more about not wandering off, but that can wait until Grace has calmed down and they are back home. After all, the shock Grace received from not being able to find her parents is punishment enough for now. Grace has calmed down slightly, but is still hiccupping up on Rachel’s arm.

“Let’s head home,” Danny tells Rachel and picks up all their bags.

Danny can’t believe he was this careless. They neglected their daughter in favor of an argument, in public of all places. He doesn’t want to think of the things that could have happened. Danny’s job attests to that. As they make their way out to the parking lot, Grace is almost asleep on Rachel’s shoulder. The shock really took it out of the four-year-old. Rachel and Danny share a meaningful glance. They know that they’ll need to sit down and have a quiet conversation once Grace is in bed. Danny vows to himself to never let this happen again.

***


	6. Chapter 06

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grace's first day of school

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ‘Firsts’ written by EmptySky, betaed by whotellsyourstory and Celeste6

**Chapter 06: Grace’s first day of school**

 

_Danny: 30 years old_

_Grace: 5 years old_

 

“What’s wrong with your breakfast? Eat your pancake, Monkey. We don’t want you hungry on your first day of school!”

Danny takes another sip of his coffee, sets the newspaper aside, and watches as his daughter eyes the kitchen’s wall clock with unease and picks at her food listlessly. At his prompt, she looks up and puts her fork down, accidentally smearing a blueberry over the otherwise spotless surface of the small wooden table.

“I’m not hungry,” Grace tells him in a soft voice, and pushes the plate away.

Danny sets down his mug and turns his chair so he’s facing the girl. He gently places his hand underneath her chin and tilts up her head, so she can’t help but look at him.

“Don’t lie to me, Grace,” Danny warns her, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards at the surprise in his daughter’s wide brown eyes. “I’m a detective and also your dad. I always know when you’re lying.”

“Sorry, Daddy.”

“What’s the matter? Are you nervous?”

Grace nods and fidgets with the drawstrings of the dress she’s wearing. She looks tense and averts her eyes once more.

“You don’t have to be. You will have an awesome and exciting day. The first day won’t even be long. Before you know it, your mom and I will be there to pick you up again.”

“Do you really have to leave?”

“Well, yeah. Imagine how crowded it would be if everyone brought their parents to class with them. Don’t be upset, baby. We’re not leaving right after dropping you off, I promise. And your teacher is a really nice lady, I ran her through the system and she hasn’t even gotten one single parking ticket in her life. You know I wouldn’t just leave you with anybody, right?”

“What if no one likes me?”

Rachel, who has been following the conversation between pottering around in the kitchen and finishing getting dressed, shakes her head vehemently and brushes her hand over Grace’s arm affectionately. 

“Oh sweetheart, that will not happen. It’s possible that you already know some of the children in your class. You will have so much fun and you will make a lot of new friends.”

“Really?” Grace looks at her mother, so hopeful and trusting that it melts her parents’ hearts.

Danny leans forward and joins in Rachel’s loving ministrations by softly kneading Grace’s knee.

“Of course, your mom’s right! They’d have to be completely stupid not to like you. There might be the odd numbnut around, but most kids in your class will be nice. I bet they’re as nervous now as you are.”

“Are you sure, Danno?”

“I’m absolutely, one hundred percent sure. Look at you, what is there not to like? You’re a very pretty girl, you make everyone around you smile, and you’re one of the nicest people I know. We’re so proud of you.”

Grace smiles for the first time that morning and scoots closer to the table. Danny and Rachel share a knowing glance and contentedly watch as Grace pulls her plate close again and picks up the fork to enjoy her breakfast.

“Cheers,” Danny picks up his coffee and carefully clinks it against Grace’s cup of chocolate milk, happy when Grace beams at him and takes a sip. “There you go, smiling is so much better than frowning.”

A loud bang from one of the cupboards draws Danny’s attention towards his wife’s last-minute activities in the kitchen. He watches her for a short moment before he clears his throat to get her attention.

“Come on, honey, sit down with us. We’ve got a few more minutes before we need to leave. You didn’t even finish your tea. I’m sure the Queen would be appalled.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Daniel. I’m just making sure everything is in order and we’re not forgetting anything,” Rachel huffs and puts a couple of small boxes in various bags on the kitchen counter. “Gracie, here’s your lunchbox for your break - a sandwich and some apple wedges. I’ve also packed some tea for you, careful, it might still be warm when you unscrew the lid. Danny, I’ve packed the rest of your mother’s potato salad for you.”

Danny smiles and reaches for Rachel’s hand, gently tugging at it. “Thank you. Now, Rachel, please, do me a favor: sit down. You’re driving me crazy with your hectic running around. Relax, everything’s fine. You’ve got everyone’s lunches, everyone’s dressed, and you’re looking fabulous…”

“Oh, I forgot my rings in the bathroom!” Rachel hastily withdraws her hand and rushes into the bathroom, ignoring the disappointed sigh of her husband in favor of searching for her jewelry.

“Don’t be sad, Daddy.” Grace chews the last bite of her pancake and downs it with her chocolate milk. “I think Mommy’s excited for me to start school, too. We’ll all feel better in the afternoon.”

“You’re probably right,” Danny chuckles and ruffles the girl’s hair, smiling when Grace protests and disappears inside the bathroom too, to get Rachel to fix her hair. While they get ready to leave, Danny quickly cleans up the kitchen and rinses off the used dishes, leaving them to drip-dry on their own.

Then, it’s time to leave. The car ride is over quickly, as the school is nearby their apartment. Once Grace is older, she’ll be allowed to walk the short distance from their home. Grace is excitedly chattering away in her booster seat, but gets quiet again when Danny parks the car in front of the school.

“Do we really have to?” Grace inquires as she gets out, immediately reaching for Rachel’s hand.

“I’m afraid so, Monkey,” Danny answers sympathetically. “You want to be even smarter and write and count, right? To do that, you gotta go to school. Come on, let’s go inside.”

Danny shares a smile with Rachel when Grace reaches for Danny’s hand as well. With her parents flanking her on each side, she makes her way inside the school building. As Danny and Rachel have visited the school and met with the teacher before, they easily find their way to the right classroom and get in line with the rest of the many first year students and their parents.

Grace looks slightly intimidated, but takes it all in with wide eyes: the long hallways, the many people surrounding her, the nervous child two classroom doors down throwing a tantrum and crying, the first glimpse of the classroom and the teacher at the door, who personally greets every student walking in. The closer they get to their turn, the tighter Grace holds onto Danny’s hand. She’s practically clinging to him and pushing her body against Danny’s leg by the time the teacher directs her attention to them.

“Hello there! You must be Grace Williams,” the young woman greets her, wearing a friendly smile and shaking Danny and Rachel’s hands. “It’s so nice to meet you. My name is Miss Evans. What do you say, do you want to go inside and find a nice place so you can put down your pretty backpack?”

Grace hesitates for a moment before looking up at her parents and nodding.

“Why don’t you go ahead, Grace? I’ll just greet the other students and I’ll be right inside. Your parents can stay with you until then, okay?”

“Okay,” Grace answers softly, returning the teacher’s infectious smile with a faint one of her own and entering the classroom.

It doesn’t take long before Grace finds a spot at a table she’s comfortable with and sets down her bag. Not even a minute later, she’s already talking to her seatmate, a blonde girl that wears her hair the exact same way Grace does.

“Looks like she already made a friend,” Danny whispers to Rachel, relieved that his assumption from earlier in the morning was right.

Grace turns toward her parents with a smile and introduces them to the girl, who has already sent her parents away moments before.

“I think you can go now,” Grace decides, but makes sure once more they will come back when school is over.

“Yes, Gracie, I promise you, we’ll be here to pick you up,” Rachel says and places a long kiss on Grace’s cheek. “Have a wonderful first day, sweetheart.”

“Have fun, Grace.” Danny refrains from giving her a kiss after seeing her wiping her cheek, not wanting to embarrass her in front of her new classmates. He smiles when Grace gives him a parting hug.

Hand in hand, Rachel and Danny leave, waving at Grace once more before going out into the hallway.

“That went surprisingly well,” Danny remarks and wraps his arms around Rachel’s shoulders when she quickly wipes at her eyes. “Oh, come on, baby, it couldn’t have gone better. Don’t be upset.”

Rachel leans against Danny for a moment, glad to have him there. Down the hallway are a few other emotional parents, preparing to leave their children to their first day of school. She’s glad that she’s not the only one having a hard time.

“It’s not that… She’s just growing up so fast.”

Danny sighs and nods, agreeing wholeheartedly.

“Let’s go or I might tear up as well,” Danny says jokingly, throwing one last look in the classroom’s direction to make sure their daughter will be okay on her own.

His wide eyes and the distressed sound he emits next cause Rachel to move forward and take a look for herself. She can’t help but laugh, and reaches for Danny’s hand to tug him towards the exit.

“She’s getting along with the other kids just fine…”

“There’s a boy talking to my daughter. Do you see that? A boy! Wasn’t that supposed to happen ten years from now? This is giving me nightmares.”

“Be brave, Danny, don’t lose your cool… Come on, time to drive me to work.”

“We can’t leave her alone now! Ow, you don’t have to push so hard,” Danny complains as Rachel ushers him to the car. “Who knows what that little punk has planned! Boys cannot be trusted.”

Rachel tries one last time to get Danny to calm down. “That boy is five years old, he’s not a threat. Don’t you remember how you were at five years old, Danny?”

“Oh God,” Danny mumbles, her attempt having the opposite effect and agitating him further. “Don’t make me think about it. Can we send her to a convent school?”

“No.”

“Do you know the fairytale Rapunzel? How about that, we take her home with us, lock her in a room until she’s thirty and we homeschool her?”

“No!”

“Was that ‘no’ to the fairytale, the homeschooling or the locking her away part? Ow, stop hitting me!”

***


	7. Chapter 07

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First time Grace visits Danny in hospital

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ‘Firsts’ written by EmptySky, betaed by whotellsyourstory and Celeste6.
> 
>  
> 
> Part 1 to this chapter was posted yesterday. It's about how Danny was injured and the time up until Grace gets to come.

**Chapter 07: First time Grace visits Danny in Hospital**

 

_Danny 30 years old_

_Grace 5 years old_

 

“Danny, sweetheart, wake up… Come on, sleepyhead, do not keep us waiting.”

Danny wakes up to a light pressure on his arm and his name being called repetitively. He blinks his eyes open sleepily and wipes them with his hand to clear his vision. His gaze then falls upon Rachel standing by his bedside.

“Hey,” he says, yawning and sheepishly smooths his disheveled hair back. “I nodded off waiting for you, huh?”

“Yes, you did. Again, if I may add.” She smiles, seemingly very pleased. “Are you ready for a visitor?”

Danny’s eyes widen as he remembers the special occasion and he nods, lowering his gaze to Rachel’s hip height. Next to her, holding onto Rachel’s leg tightly, is the person whose visit he has longed for the past days, the one person that is always able to cheer him up. Grace is wearing a colorful dress, her hair is done up in two pigtails, and she looks adorable as she smiles at him shyly.

“Hi, Daddy.”

“Hey, Gracie!” Danny beams at his daughter and grins even wider when she waves at him and stands on her toes to peek over the bedrails obstructing her view of him. “Wait, let me sit up so we can see each other a little better.”

Danny firmly places his hands on either side on his hips, takes a deep breath, and carefully scoots up a little higher on the bed. He grunts from the effort this change of position demands. He’s glad when Rachel steps forward and supports him with one hand while her other hand shifts the pillows aside. They are fairly versed in doing this, having already gone through their routine during previous visits, and they work together well. Danny bites his lip to keep himself from letting out pained noises while his daughter is present. He leans on his side and holds onto the bedrails to keep himself there, while Rachel wedges the pillows behind his back, partially tucked underneath the left hip and shoulder.

“How is this for you, Danny?”

Danny releases his tight grip and leans back, satisfied when the pillows support him and he’s able to see his daughter better, while at the same time relieving some pressure off his backside.

“It’s perfect; thanks, honey.” He tilts his head towards her for a quick kiss before turning his attention back to his daughter.

Grace is still standing in her place at his side, her eyes wide as she takes in the sight of her father in the hospital bed. Judging from the level of intimidation she’s displaying, Rachel and Danny have made the right decision, not letting her visit before today.

Danny was moved out of the ICU and into a step-down unit with less monitoring three days ago, as he is no longer critical and no longer expected to deteriorate. He has made such progress that he was moved into a regular room earlier this morning, on the fifteenth day of his hospital stay.

He does not need as much care as he did before, for which everyone is thankful. He no longer requires additional oxygen to support his breathing, or the feeding tube, as he’s able to eat soft foods, albeit in small portions. He’s still thin, but on his way to regain the weight he lost. Danny got rid of the heart monitor that morning and finally gets to wear a gown - the nurses no longer needing quick access to his chest and wound, as he is stable. If it was up to Danny, he’d already be wearing shorts and a shirt, so he’ll probably ask a nurse about it later.

Danny is a lot more mobile and has gone from barely being able to lift a hand to leaving the bed with assistance for short periods of time. He still has trouble moving on his own, since using the muscles in his abdomen is too painful. Unfortunately, the irritating catheter in his bladder is yet to be removed; a fact he’s trying hard to ignore. Then there is also the IV in the back of his hand, and he wears a support binder around his abdomen. Considering the state he was in when he was admitted after being injured, things are looking up. Especially with his daughter visiting for the first time. Danny is glad he insisted on being shaved and showered by an orderly instead of receiving the usual sponge bath in bed. He looks a lot less sick than he did in the ICU.

Rachel pulls up a chair from the far wall and sits down close to the headrest. She pulls Grace on her lap and rests her chin on top of Grace’s head.

“Milady...” Danny smiles and stretches his hand out towards her.

Grace eyes the IV attentively, but reaches out and grasps his fingers. She giggles when Danny places a chaste kiss on her hand.

“I missed that laugh so much. I’m happy you stopped by, Monkey. Thank you. It’s so boring without you here.”

“When are you coming home, Daddy?”

“I don’t know for sure, sorry. It’ll be another while, I’m afraid. Oh no, don’t look so sad. I know your mom explained to you I’ve been injured. I just need to heal a bit more first, okay? I’m doing better, but I need to get a lot stronger before they let me out of here.”

Grace frowns, then looks up and down his body, as if she could see the bandage through his gown if she tried hard enough.

“Does it hurt?”

Danny has a brief and nonverbal conversation with Rachel as they look at each other. So far, they’ve always been honest to their daughter. Santa, the tooth fairy, and all their friends excluded. However, some facts are not suited for a five-year-old, the current predicament with Danny’s injury standing out as an example.

“Sometimes it does,” he admits, sticking to the truth but omitting just how painful it is. “Mainly if I move. It’s gotten a lot better, though.”

“Mommy said there is a little hole in your belly. Does that mean that if you drink water, it will run straight back out?” Grace is wide-eyed and curious.

Danny snorts and grins at Rachel, though his smile diminishes when he realizes that Rachel doesn’t find their little girl wondering about such things all that amusing.

“Well… I was leaky for a bit, I was told… But nah, they fixed me all up.”

“Can I see?”

“No!” Rachel answers decidedly and sends a warning glance towards Danny, stroking Grace’s hair softly. If she is trying to calm down Grace or herself, Danny is not quite sure.

“Sorry, Gracie. I’ve got some bandages covering the wound until it’s completely healed. And it’s not that exciting to look at. I’ve seen it, and to be honest, it looks really gross.” Danny wrinkles his nose in emphasis. Also, though he’s not as strict as Rachel is on the topic, he does not want his daughter to see the extent of his injury. It’s bad enough Rachel’s frail sense of security has been shaken again. Grace cannot know just how close he came to dying.

“But can I look at it when it’s healed?”

“We’ll see about that.”

“Daddy, will you have a scar like I have on my knee?”

“Probably, yeah.” Danny nods and unconsciously puts his hand over the area where the knife entered his abdomen and wreaked havoc. The surgeons did their best to fix the damage, which included several torn muscles and blood vessels, as well as a tear in his stomach. The result is a long incision right above his navel, going almost entirely across his abdomen. It will scar, definitely. Danny hopes that maybe it won’t be as prominent over time, his distinct body hair possibly working in his favor.

Rachel looks troubled as she kisses Grace’s cheek.

“Do you remember what we talked about at home, Grace? Daddy’s going to be fine, just the way he was before.”

Grace nods seriously. “Danno, Grandpa said you need to take it slow for a bit. And that I have to be careful. But I’m always careful! And we can’t play until you’re better.”

“I know you are. Don’t worry, we’ll make up for all the lost playtime. I’ll think of something nice when I’m out of here.”

“Are you tired, Danno? Mommy said you’ll be tired and maybe a bit grumpy for a while.”

Rachel blushes when Danny raises an eyebrow at her.

“What are you talking about? Me? Grumpy? I’m never grumpy,” Danny exclaims in mock consternation.

Grace giggles and leans closer to the bed, as if to tell him a secret.

“You sometimes are. When you wake up early and don’t have to work till late. And when someone drives stupid. And that time I accidentally kicked your privates when I slept in your bed.”

“I remember that time,” Danny grumbles. “Got a point there… I’ll try not to be grumpy. If I am, you’ll just have to cheer me up. Look at you now, doing a fantastic job. I feel so much better already.”

Grace looks up at Rachel and the two share a smile.

“I’m so glad to hear that.” Rachel nods and hugs their daughter a little closer.

Danny holds his incision gently as he shifts in bed, a small flicker of discomfort ghosting over his face before disappearing and the smile is back on.

“How are you doing, Gracie?”

“I’m good, thank you.”

“I heard that you got to stay with Grandma and Grandpa a whole lot. Did you behave for them?”

Grace nods and her eyes brighten. “We had lots of fun. Grandpa and I had tea parties and he played pony for me. He also gave me candy before dinner, but we cannot tell Grandma that, okay?”

“I won’t tell a soul. It sounds awesome.”

“It was! Grandma has been reading me stories every day. And I got to have a sleepover in Aunt Bridget’s room. And guess what, she got me new crayons and a coloring book. I can bring it here for you if you get bored without me or Mommy here.”

Danny chuckles. “No, Monkey, she got those for you. You keep them. I’m just glad you had fun. I know it hasn’t been easy with me in here.”

“I was sometimes sad, too. I missed Mommy when she had to go and I always missed you a whole lot. I was so excited when Mommy said I’d see you after school.”

Danny doesn’t get to reply, as the words fade away when he shifts his weight just the slightest bit. He grunts at the pain in his stomach flaring up and holds his breath for a few seconds, breathing out slowly. He is grateful that Rachel lowers the headrest and he lets her readjust the pillows. He ends up on his back, glad to be lying in a relaxed position. He shares another kiss with Rachel and sighs when she brushes her fingers through his hair, the tension leaving his body momentarily. She remains standing at his side and keeps up her ministration. Danny turns his head to focus back on Grace.

“Guess what, Daddy!”

“Tell me.”

“I got to ride to school with Uncle Dave in his cruiser a few times. ‘Cause, you know, Mommy stayed with you a couple of times and sometimes couldn’t make it home in time for school. He turned the siren on for me once and everyone in my class was so jealous.”

Danny grins and reaches over the bedrail to bump his finger against her nose, smiling wider when Grace beams up at him once more.

“Daddy’s job is not so bad, is it? I get to turn on the siren almost every day. Cool huh? When I’m released it won’t be long before I can go back to work. Probably on desk duty until I’m cleared, but after that, I can show up at your school. If anyone’s giving you a hard time they won’t afterwards.”

Grace nods so enthusiastically her pigtails bounce, and the joy and excitement shows on her face clearly. Rachel however, does just the opposite. Her hand stops mid-stroke through his hair and drops down at her side altogether. Her face hardens, her eyes contain fury and her mouth is pinched in a thin line. She looks at her husband with disdain and disbelief, then shakes her head in disappointment. Danny frowns. Sure, maybe the first comment about his job was probably not such a smart idea, especially in light of his current situation. But Rachel’s reaction couldn’t have been just because of that. Danny realizes that maybe she had hoped he’d resign, look for another, safer job. There was never any doubt for him that he’d go back to work. Anything else is not an option. He wants to ask a question, but Rachel’s glance silences him before he can even formulate any words. She shakes her head again. Well, they’ll have that conversation another day. Danny feels tired, anyway.

Grace has not noticed the tension and speaks up once more.

“The other people at your work are all so nice, Daddy. Uncle Dave even took me to the zoo!”

“He did?”

“Yes, and his grandchildren came with us, too. We ate pizza and looked at all the animals.”

Danny is relieved to hear that not only did his family take care of Grace when he wasn’t able to, but that his police family stepped up and put in a lot of effort as well. They’re a close group and look out for each other, something very important to Danny. He left patrol behind him over two years ago and still, his former partner had helped Rachel when she needed the support. That and the countless visits of colleagues - who somehow managed to bribe the hospital staff and slip past the strict visiting hours to see him in the step-down unit - was more than he could have imagined happening and he felt grateful. Even the Chief had taken time out of his busy schedule and stopped by.

“...and there were polar bears, and frogs, and monkeys, and…”

Listening to his daughter spouting off all the different animals she saw is oddly comforting. So comforting, in fact, that he feels himself dozing off. As happy as he is to have Grace with him, her visit has worn him out. And after Rachel’s visit earlier in the morning, his move to his new room, physical therapy and his shower, he had been exhausted to begin with. He fights sleep for a while, but eventually, his eyes are too heavy to remain open anymore. His breathing becomes deeper and his muscles relax further. The ever-present pain is at the back of his mind and he feels sleep pulling at him.

“Mommy?”

“It’s fine,” he hears Rachel whisper in the distance. “He fell asleep on me earlier, too. Recovering makes him really tired, so his body needs the sleep.”

“Do you think he liked me coming over?” Grace also whispers.

“You made him very happy. He missed you very much and he has been looking forward to your visit for a long time. We should leave now, let him get some rest... What’s wrong, Sweetheart?”

“I’m sad he’s not coming with us.”

“I’m sad about that, too. But we’ll visit him every day until he is released. And until he’s well enough to get along on his own again, the two of us can take care of him. Will you help me with that?”

There’s a soft thud as Grace gets to her feet and soon after, Danny feels her hand brush over his cheek and hair softly. The corners of his mouth quirk up to the faintest of smiles. The last thing he registers before he falls asleep is a tender kiss on his temple.

“Sleep, Danno. I’ll take care of you.”

***


	8. Chapter 08

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First time Danny feels like he failed Grace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ‘Firsts’ written by EmptySky, betaed by whotellsyourstory and Celeste6

**Chapter 08: First time Danny feels like he failed Grace**

 

_ Danny: 31 years old _

_ Grace: 6 years old _

There is something fascinating about thunderstorms, Danny thinks. Sometimes you can predict them days in advance, and other times they surprise you. If you watch the clouds, factor in the winds, and know the terrain, you can make a good assessment - but even then, you don’t know just when and where exactly the storm will rage. It can drag on for hours or it can be over quickly; it can leave devastation and clear the air. It all depends on how much pent-up energy is waiting to be unleashed. You can watch it, feel the storm looming in the air, but you don’t know for sure until it’s happening.

Tonight, it feels the way it often does after a hot, humid summer day. There is an underlying crackle in the air that foreshadows what might follow. The heat is stifling after building up for hours. The tension is nearly palpable as Rachel and Danny look at each other through the bathroom mirror, neither saying a word. They are just seconds away from a discharge as the first lightning bolt is about to come crashing down. And just like during a thunderstorm, no one knows how forceful it’s going to be, or if there will be any damage. It’s late and would be pitch-black outside, if it weren’t for the street lamps and the distant bright lights from Manhattan as they shine over the Hudson River. Grace has been asleep for two hours by the time the couple is getting ready for bed after a long day. Rachel glares at Danny unforgivingly as she dabs at her face with a damp cotton pad to remove the last of her make-up.

Danny stares back just as intensely, drying himself off from the shower he finished moments before. He doesn’t break their staring contest even as he reaches for the clean boxers and the shirt he placed on the counter earlier. It doesn’t deter his wife one bit. If anything, she seems to get even angrier. Her mouth is a thin line as she scowls at him.

“Rachel, please do me a favor and let it go.”

“Do you a favor? Why would I want to do you a favor when you can’t be bothered to do the same for me?”

Danny rubs the towel on his hair a few times to soak up the excess water, catching single rivulets as they run down the nape of his neck and dampen the collar of his shirt. Brushing his hair back with his fingers, he spares another glance at the mirror to find Rachel still glowering at him darkly.

“Are you serious?”

“Do I look as if I’m joking, Daniel?”

“I was hoping you were. With your screwed up British humor, I couldn’t tell.”

Rachel’s eyes narrow as her anger goes up yet another notch.

“I’m so glad that you’re taking this seriously. And here I thought I was married to an adult…”

“Just forget about it,” Danny snarls. He shakes his head. He balls up the towel and throws it past Rachel into the hamper, hitting it dead-center.

“For the love of God, I have told you a hundred times already not to put wet towels in there!”

Danny clenches his jaw and reaches around his wife, pressing up against her briefly to reach the container. The way she leans back, even though there is no more space behind her, just to avoid his touch, makes him even angrier. He aggressively snatches the towel back out of the hamper and chucks it over the shower stall.

“There, happy?”

He brushes past Rachel but is halted in his tracks when she tightly grasps his arm to keep him from leaving. He shakes her off and glares at her.

“No, I’m not! Do you really think it’s going to dry, crumpled up like that?”

Danny shakes his head in annoyance and heads for the kitchen, ignoring her demands for him to come back. He calls over his shoulder, “Leave me alone! Come find me when you’re done criticizing me and when you have something nice to say for a change!”

Rachel huffs and turns to the sink, eying her reflection in the mirror critically and holding onto the edges. She forces herself to inhale and exhale deeply to collect herself. She shifts her cosmetic products back to their usual spot and discards the used cotton pads into the small garbage can by the toilet. Making sure everything is neat, Rachel finally straightens the offending towel and heads for the kitchen herself.

“You know what your problem is? You cannot take any criticism.”

“I can take it just fine,” Danny retorts tiredly, not even sparing her a look as he leans against the counter and drinks a glass of water. “My problem is that it’s the only thing I hear in my own home.”

“Maybe you should change and stop giving me reason after reason to complain, then.”

He just gives her a warning stare, his eyes speaking volumes.

“Daniel, we have to talk about it…”

“No, we don’t. Believe me, I’ve had enough for tonight.”

“And you’re doing it again! You’re shutting me out and avoiding our conversation!”

“It’s not a conversation. A conversation is when two civilized people sit together, calmly listen to one another, and let each other talk. Maybe even reach an agreement or something. You are just throwing out accusations left and right, talking me down and wearing me out!”

Rachel shakes her head. “You dismiss me every time I try to talk to you. If you think our talks are that horrible, I don’t understand why you won’t go to couple’s therapy with me. A therapist might help us get somewhere, get us talking again. Please, Danny.”

“How many times do I have to say it? No! For plenty of reasons, all of which I explained to you on countless occasions before. I dislike shrinks, that’s a; b, we do talk. We yell and talk over and over and over again.  _ Not  _ talking is not our problem. And c, it’s bad enough that we’re caught in a never-ending loop and repeat ourselves without a break. I don’t need that in front of a stranger. I don’t see how paying someone to get a front row seat to our arguments will help.”

“I can’t believe you! I’ve taken the first step and offered what could be the solution to our problems, and you’re not even willing to work on our marriage!”

Danny slams his glass down on the counter and looks at her over his shoulder, raising his voice, “I already told you what I need and want so we can move forward.”

“Yeah, but what about me?” Rachel crosses her arms in front of her chest. “What about my needs? What about what I want? You’re ignoring me, again!”

“What you want is nuts!”

“Oh?”

“I want to go one day, fuck, one lousy evening without being nagged at and without being corrected or put down. I don’t think it’s too much to ask. But you, you keep hassling me and want me to change without doing your part of the equation. I can’t do that, I can’t give myself up this way.”

“You’re exaggerating.” Rachel shakes her head. “It’s not like that.”

“It’s exactly like that.”

“That’s not true and you know it. I have told you what I want, wish, and expect from you. Having different opinions is okay, but we need to compromise. You’re not doing that. We’re stuck, and this is entirely on you!”

Rachel lets her gaze linger on him for a moment longer before turning around and disappearing down the hallway.

Danny grits his teeth and walks after her, following her to the bedroom, where he leans against the doorframe.

“I have done a great deal of compromising. I did a lot for you, to make this relationship work. Don’t pretend it didn’t happen just because you’re not getting your way this time.”

Rachel remains silent as she undresses to change into a nightgown. She faces away from him, not allowing him that level of intimacy after their latest argument.

Danny frowns when he notices her behavior and realizes he will not get a response. He runs his fingers through his damp hair in frustration before heading to the living room. He plops down onto the couch and turns on the TV, zapping through the channels listlessly. There’s nothing on he likes, but he isn’t able to focus on anything, anyway.

“I don’t want to be on bad terms with you.” Rachel’s voice gets louder as she approaches him and stands by the door. “I hate how long this has been going on, and that we’re drifting away from each other more and more every day. I assure you, I’m tired of us arguing as much as you are.”

“And yet, you’re adding fuel to the fire. You can’t just once let me be. I’m tired, Rachel.”

“If you took me seriously, maybe I wouldn’t have to repeat myself so often.”

Danny clicks his tongue but ignores her otherwise. Instead, he lifts the remote control to increase the TV’s volume.

“Daniel…”

Danny turns the volume up a little more and sighs when Rachel marches up to the device and manually turns it off. He leans back into the cushions and forces himself to be calmer than he feels.

“I was watching that.”

“You just made my point. You cannot carry a conversation with me.” Rachel looks sad.

Danny drops the remote control down beside him and runs his hands over his face tiredly.

“You know that I did not get much sleep last night. I had to get up early regardless, and I’ve been working all day. From there, I went straight to my parents to meet up with you and Grace. We’ve been fighting from the moment we entered the car, all the way until we got home and during dinner. I’m  _ this _ close to running on empty. I would like to have one time of the day, just one measly hour, where I can enjoy some peace and quiet. Please,  _ please _ , drop it.”

“There is always a reason for you to avoid this,” Rachel retorts and doesn’t let up even as Danny bumps his head against the wall. “I have to live with this situation all the same. I’ve been working, too. When I come home, I’d enjoy having a nice conversation with my husband. Maybe even get intimate when our daughter is asleep - at the very least receive some sort of affection from you. But guess what, I haven’t had any of that in months! I don’t get what I want, either. Why should you?”

“How is that grown-up, you know, as opposed to me behaving like a child?”

“Oh, so you do listen.”

“Of course I listen,” Danny explodes, startling both of them. “I’m not fucking deaf! And with you following me around everywhere I go, there is no way I could miss any of it!”

“And yet, you’re completely missing my point! You are twisting my words and you’re getting upset for no reason at all,” Rachel replies just as hotheaded, though taken aback at the fierceness in Danny’s outburst.

“Why can’t you just take what I say for an answer? Every time! I’m wrong and you’re right. It’s convenient for you, but it’s not reality.”

“To me, it feels the opposite.” Rachel shakes her head and sighs. “We both know you can be stubborn at times. You have always been, don’t deny it. Once you’ve made up your mind, you rarely change your opinion.”

“I don’t get why I always have to see your point, while you are not even making an effort to understand me and where I’m coming from.”

“I have shown a lot of patience and understanding for you!”

Danny shrugs, his voice emotionless. “I haven’t noticed.”

Rachel looks down, as it dawns on her she maybe has pushed him too far, crossed the limit of things he can take tonight. It’s not like her to ignore his requests and she realizes she has put her own needs far above Danny’s without a qualm. She wonders how far down the road they really are. The issues they have are eating her up. She looks back up when Danny begins talking once more.

“I feel like I can’t do anything right in your eyes anymore. You’re mad at me when I talk, and you’re mad at me when I don’t to avoid a confrontation. It wasn’t as bad in the beginning, but it has been happening a lot lately. Nothing I do is good enough for you. There is always something I should have done better. I don’t want us to fight. Of course I’d rather that we get along, that everything was beautiful and that we could get along without a care all the time. But I can’t stand it when you try to change me into something I’m not. It makes my skin crawl. I can’t take it.”

It feels like being caught red-handed for a second, and Rachel doesn’t like it one bit. Rationally thinking, she knows that she has contributed to their current predicament just the same. To hear Danny calmly express just what his perception of her is is more than she can handle, despite having asked for it by relentlessly pushing him.

“Get off your high horse and stop being so dramatic,” Rachel’s voice hardens and she disappears from her spot, already regretting what she said.

Danny closes his eyes and covers his face with his hands, groaning. If only he knew how to get both of them out of this low-point. If he is honest, he’s felt for a while that something is off. They’re both at fault for letting their relationship get this bad. They pretended everything was okay, that their problems were normal and would eventually disappear. He hates what their life has become. It is not only their ongoing arguments that keep Danny up at night. It’s also the fear that the two of them have passed the point in time when they could have turned their marriage around for the better. That this is beyond fixing.

Driven by a sudden urge to get away from it all, Danny practically leaps up from the couch. He doesn’t know where he’s going until he reaches Grace’s bedroom. He quietly opens the door to peek inside.

Grace is fast asleep on her belly, a stuffed bunny tucked in her arm tightly. The blanket that’s normally covering the six-year-old is lying on the floor in front of the bed. Danny smiles, as the tossing and turning during the night is something she inherited from him. He walks inside quietly and covers her up once more. Danny softly brushes his hand over her head as she sleeps, and bends down to kiss her cheek.

His heart becomes heavy. He loves his daughter with his whole being. She brings light to his life like nothing else has done so far. They have raised her well. There is not a single trait he finds needs correcting. She is a happy kid, well protected, living a happy childhood. Danny and Rachel have tried to keep Grace out of their arguments as best as they can, but lately, they have been escalating.

Over the past months, they have inadvertently caused Grace grief and sorrow. The arguments no longer only take place at night, or when Grace is gone. They’ve transitioned into full-blown, loud fights and carelessly spoken words in front of their daughter. It has startled Grace, and Rachel and Danny have recently started to notice changes in her behavior.

She is no longer as easy-going as she used to be, no longer carefree. She’s clingier, has trouble saying goodbye when they leave for school or work, and the bedtime routine takes longer than it used to. Sometimes on the weekends, when no one had to leave, she liked coming to their bed in the early morning hours for a snuggle, falling asleep for another few hours before getting up entirely. Over the past month, Grace has found her way into their bed on countless occasions, blaming bad dreams. Grace doesn’t deserve this.

Danny loves Rachel. Even as they fight, he still loves her. Not just because she gave him the most precious thing he has in life. He promised her on their wedding day to always be there for her. Danny intends to hold onto that promise, to honor it, as long as Rachel wants him to. He wants her happy. But there is Grace to think about. She deserves to have both parents. But is it fair to have to live in a hostile environment? With two adults, who can’t even get their acts together enough not to fight out their battles in front of their child. Who have recently crossed a line and begun to deliberately provoke and hurt each other. Danny has Grace’s best interests in mind, it’s his top priority. And despite all their fights, it’s what he and Rachel always agree on. At this point, Danny doesn’t know what’s best anymore. But Grace deserves better than this. He has to make this work. Not just for his sake.

Danny places one last kiss on top of Grace’s head and quietly closes the door behind him on his way out. He checks all the rooms and finds his wife leaning against the kitchen counter, as did he half an hour earlier. She is looking out of the kitchen window. He slowly walks up to her and takes a place at her side, imitating her stance.

“I’m not blind, you know? I see you’re unhappy, and I’m sorry.”

“I’m tired of fighting, Danny.”

“I feel the same way.”

“What are we doing here?”

Danny looks down at his folded hands, not having an answer to her question.

“Why can’t we just make it work?” Rachel asks and focuses her gaze on Danny. “You know… for me, it always comes down to the same problems. I know I’m not without blame. I’m very sorry for pushing you tonight, Danny. You asked me to stop, multiple times, and I did not listen. But Danny, apart from your outburst just now, you’re not willing to address our problems. I want us to be like we were. Before I went back to working full-time, before you made Detective, before this went to hell. But I don’t know how we’ll get there if you don’t actively help me out.”

“We haven’t changed since then,” Danny interjects. “We both work the same jobs, we’re doing the same things we’ve always done. You fell in love with me as a cop. I’ve always known you working at the firm. You’ve climbed up the career ladder, we had Grace and I took a better position as well. Why is this suddenly not good enough anymore?”

“We’ve changed in more ways than that,” Rachel disagrees. “We’ve moved in different directions, somehow. We both need to have empathy for the other. It’s how a relationship works.”

“You’ve got some nerve to talk about empathy…”

“Tell me, Danny, are you happy?”

“No.” Danny shakes his head, not needing to think about it for long.

“I’m not, either. I believe you when you say you’re as tired of arguing as I am, but I feel you do not want to work on us, or take the necessary steps to make us better.”

“Because I don’t want to see a shrink?”

“Because of the entire situation.”

“So let me get this straight.” Danny rephrases calmly, “You’re putting the blame on me? As you said, there are two in a relationship. I don’t see you willing to discuss your own part.”

“I… no! What is that supposed to mean?”

“You make my life a living hell. You tell me what you don’t like, repeatedly, and I guess I can’t blame you for that, but you don’t move on. You’re hung up on what you think is bad and you can’t let it go. I don’t see you trying to find a way to just accept it for yourself. What do you want me to do?”

“I want you to see me. I want you to appreciate me. I want to be the most important thing in your life, well, Grace aside. I may be married to you, but I feel so alone. We don’t  _ talk _ . Not the way we used to. We have so little time together, with me leaving early and you coming home late. When we see each other we argue, watch TV, or we discuss our jobs. You have other priorities on your mind, and I come second to all of them.”

“Nothing is more important to me than family.” Danny frowns and meets her eyes to convey the truth of his message. “Nothing comes before Grace or you.”

“It used to be that way, a long time ago. I can’t tell anymore. It always comes down to work, Danny.”

“What do you mean?”

“If we talk, it’s about work. It’s  _ always  _ about work - my work, your work. Colleagues, cases, workload, dead people, criminal prosecution. I can’t listen to it anymore. We used to have other topics, you know?”

“You are being unfair.”

“Am I, Danny? The way I see it, you spend more time on the job than you spend with your family. You have odd working hours. When you’re home, you still think about work. I still know you well enough to see the cogs turning in your head. You think about the murderer’s motive, how you outsmarted them, where the problems with prosecution may lay, how horrible people are. You care a great deal about your job. Which is good, I think. You take it as seriously as you should, but it’s getting harder for me to deal with it.”

“I ask you again: what do you want from me? You know I’m not looking for another job. It’s a good job. It’s secure, I make enough money, I like what I do, and I’m good at it.”

“And I have not once asked you to look for a new job. I wish you’d fight for me with the same passion you’re showing towards your job. I know you love being a detective. I just wish you loved me as much.”

“I love you.” Danny looks down, hurt by Rachel’s perception. “Don’t question my love for you. I know, we talked it into the ground, but remember that it’s hard for me to be passionate when I get the cold shoulder and accusations upon coming home.”

“It’s difficult for me, as well. I worry about you so much. I’m always stuck somewhere between feeling relieved you came home and angry that you will go again the next day.”

“You don’t have to be. I’m safe.”

Rachel looks at him sadly. “Are you as safe as you were last fall, when you spent a month in the hospital? Or as safe as Grace Tillwell was when she died?”

Danny swallows hard. “I can’t believe you went there.”

“But it’s the truth, Daniel.”

“I need a moment.” Danny forces himself to take a few deep breaths. The thing is that Rachel is right, and he can’t blame her. He knows danger is a companion, but he also knows that he is careful. He has yet to convince Rachel of it. He rubs his face and feels his wife’s eyes on him. “Where do we go from here, Rachel? Do we fight about this for the rest of our lives? Because I cannot, and I will not leave the job.”

“I know,” Rachel scoffs, frustrated. “I hate your job these days. I hate that you put yourself in harm’s way every day. You see such evil happening, and you bring those memories home with you, home to us.”

“Yet, it makes me happy. I do something important. I keep the city safer for all of us. At least Grace is proud of me.”

“Well, she’s your daughter, it doesn’t mean much. She will be proud of you regardless of what it is that you do.”

Danny gets angry again. “I’m making an honest effort to iron out some of our difficulties, and that’s what you say? Really? Most other spouses are proud of their partner in law enforcement and support them.”

“I do support you, even if I don’t like what you do. I’ve gone this far, having your back during all of this, so you could do what makes you happy. Even at the cost of my own happiness. I’m miserable sometimes. You don’t ask me how I feel.”

“I don’t have to. You keep telling me about it every chance you get,” Danny barks, regretting his words as they come out, but he cannot stop once he’s started. “You’re repeating yourself and you try to press through what you want. You only care about yourself!”

Danny barely catches the dishtowel Rachel throws at his head and they glare at each other.

“You are a self-righteous asshole!”

“That does it for you, doesn’t it? Keep insulting me, please, it’s really attractive!”

“Bite me!”

Rachel storms out and leaves Danny standing in the kitchen. He hears their bedroom door close with a bang and drops his head down to his chest. Breathing deeply doesn’t do anything for him this time, so he bangs his fist down on the kitchen counter in anger.

“Goddamn it!”

Danny rubs his aching hand and mentally berates himself for losing his self-control. Feeling helpless, he stands in the kitchen for a long moment before he makes the decision to follow Rachel one last time. He warns himself to stay calm and slowly trudges through the hallway, stopping in front of the bedroom. He collects himself and softly knocks at the door. There is no answer, but Danny steps inside after a moment of waiting.

Rachel is sitting on her side of the bed, knees drawn up to her chest. She looks at him and quickly brushes away some freely running tears. Danny comes closer and sits down beside her legs. Physically, he may be right next to her, but it feels like they’re worlds apart.

“I’m so sorry, Rachel. I never wanted to hurt you. I’m sorry I said what I said.”

“I’m sorry, too.” Rachel wipes at her eyes some more, but more tears follow. “I kept pushing and provoking you. I’m surprised you didn’t lose it earlier.”

“Still… It’s not like me to lose my temper like that. Yes, I know I can be very articulate, but never like this. Not to you.”

“It scares me, Danny. Not just your outburst. God, I’m sorry, but I wanted to hurt you,” Rachel admits and begins to cry in earnest. “I’m feeling so miserable. I sometimes don’t recognize myself anymore, so bitter and angry all the time. I’m sick of arguing.”

Danny nods and reaches out towards her. “So am I.”

Rachel looks at his hand, but doesn’t take it. She hugs herself more tightly instead.

“I can’t live like this anymore. I don’t know what to do. This is not how I pictured our life to be. We’re barely thirty, and we’re so stuck. I don’t even want to think about what the future will be like. Our marriage is steadily getting worse, how will this end?”

Danny lets his hand drop into his lap and faces Rachel with trepidation when she speaks up again.  

“This mess started over a year ago. I thought we’d turned the corner, but I was wrong. I was kidding myself, and if you are honest, so were you. It is not even about the job anymore. You getting stabbed played a minor role in it, but we were on the wrong track already way before that time. We’re arguing every day, and now every night, too. Gracie is starting to behave differently because we fight in front of her. I made you lose your self-control and yell at me. And you brought me to the point where I threw something at you. I’m so glad I only had the dishtowel in reach instead of a glass! I think I would have thrown anything. We bring out the worst in each other.”

“It’s not all bad, though, is it?” Danny softly asks, troubled.

“Look around, Danny! I’m married to a detective and I live in a tiny two-bedroom apartment in Weehawken! We make just enough to make the rent and meet our basic needs! We can’t stand to be around each other most of the time and I can’t even talk to my family about it because you lot can’t stand each other and they berated me for marrying you in the first place!”

Something inside Danny breaks, he’s sure of it. It certainly feels that way. His heart sinks even more and he’s trembling slightly. With what, he is not sure, but he knows it’s not anger. He wishes he was numb.

“I never asked you to give up anything for me,” he says quietly. “I’m sorry I can’t give you what you need. I thought being together was enough. I thought  _ I _ was enough.”

“I didn’t mean it that way. I’m not high maintenance. I don’t want fancy things. It’s about how we make each other feel… It’s not you. Well, it’s not just you,” Rachel sniffles. “We used to complete each other. At least that’s how it felt to me. There’s something missing. We’re both unhappy. We tried compensating the missing parts, but it’s not working anymore. I know you feel the same. If you honestly think about it, you will agree.”

Danny nods, bracing himself for what he feels is inevitable at this point. “Yeah, I’ve felt it for a while. I couldn’t admit it, though. I didn’t want to think about the consequences.”

“That’s because you’re you, and because your heart is in the right place.” Rachel’s crying picks up again. “We can’t keep going like this. It’s not healthy, for either of us. It’s not fair to Grace. We have to stop. I think it’s time one of us says it out loud. Our marriage is done. I don’t think we should be together anymore.”

“Rachel…”

“I want a divorce, Danny.”

Danny has anticipated this moment and feared it, but now that the moment has come, he only feels empty. His distinct self-confidence, acquired from growing up with three siblings and working as cop, takes another heavy blow as he has yet another thing to add to his long list of failures. He has been with Rachel for almost ten years - most of his adult life. Ending this long and deep connection hits home painfully. It’s not just her he is losing, his wife, his once best friend, his companion. It’s life as he knows it, and also his home. Someone has to move out. There is no way Danny can stay where he’s made such intense memories and be reminded of his failure every day. Also, this apartment is Grace’s home. Grace. Knowing that either way, he won’t see his daughter as much, is probably what hurts the most. But he has to think of Grace’s wellbeing first and foremost, and with nothing left to salvage the marriage he helped run into the ground, he agrees.

“Alright.”

He puts his head in his hands and can’t help but cry. His body shudders from the effort not to break down entirely. It seems that Rachel is not faring much better, the far-reaching consequences of their decision slowly sinking in. Danny doesn’t know how much time passes by with them just sitting there, grieving for what’s lost. Eventually, he wipes the tears away with his hands and the hem of his shirt, clears his throat, and hesitantly reaches for Rachel’s hand. He isn’t sure if he has lost the privilege to do it, but he squeezes her hand gently.

“I want you and Gracie to keep the apartment, until we figure out how to proceed from here. Okay? It kills me to say it, but with my working hours Grace is better off living with you. Just promise me, Rachel, please, don’t take her away from me. Let me see and have her as often as I can arrange it. Please. You can have anything you want from me, but don’t take away my baby.”

Rachel has stopped wiping at her eyes at this point and scoots closer to Danny, squeezing his hand tightly before letting go.

“Grace has to be our top priority over the next months. She shouldn’t have to suffer from our mistakes any more than she already has,” Rachel sniffles and smiles wryly. “She loves you. We’ll figure out a schedule. Thank you for the apartment. We’ll see about the rest of our things. Where will you go?”

“Thank you. Thank you... I’ll ask Matt or my parents if I can stay with them for a while. I don’t know how soon I’ll find something new, but I’ll get the rest of my stuff once I do,” Danny says and wipes at his face once more before he gets up. “Should I… do you… I mean… I can stay for tonight, right? I don’t think I can show up anywhere this late without giving people a heart attack.”

“Yes, of course. This is still our apartment until it’s official, I guess.”

Danny checks the clock on the wall and sighs, “I might as well get a few things together. If you don’t mind? I don’t know about you, but I’m calling in sick tomorrow. You, too? Okay. It will give us some time to think of something to tell Gracie… There’s no way I’ll get any sleep tonight. Might as well use the time to pack up what I can and get out of your way earlier.”

Rachel gestures for him to go ahead wordlessly and watches as Danny gets his suitcase from above the closet. He reaches into the various drawers and takes out just enough clothes to last him a few days, stuffing it all into the suitcase.

It is at this very moment that the door opens and Grace enters. Her hair is sticking up in every possible direction and she has her bunny clutched in her hand. She stops on the threshold when she realizes that not only are her parents not in bed, but their red-rimmed puffy eyes indicate they were crying. Her lower lip starts trembling and her brown eyes fill with tears.

“Hey, Monkey, what are you doing up?” Danny asks, his voice breaking mid-sentence. “It’s past your bedtime. Go back to bed.”

“Why are you crying?”

“Everything is fine,” Rachel attempts to soothe her and gets up from her spot on the bed.

“Where are you going?” Grace asks, wide-eyed as she looks at Danny with the suitcase.

Danny shares a quick glance with Rachel, at a loss at what to say.

“Were you arguing?” Grace hiccups and rubs her eyes, tired.

“We’re done arguing,” Danny sighs and approaches her, lifting her up and holding her tightly.

“Good,” she mumbles into his neck, her head resting on his shoulder. “I don’t like it when you argue.”

Danny kisses Grace’s cheek softly and walks them over to Rachel, sharing a glance and a nod with her, before they all sit down on the bed. Grace peeks at them bleary-eyed from her spot on Danny’s lap.

“Gracie… listen… We’re sorry we made you sad. Your mom and I were having trouble figuring out some problems that had nothing to do with you, okay? We both love you so, so much.”

Grace listens attentively and reaches out to pat Danny’s cheek when he tears up at having to explain their current situation. “Don’t cry, Danno. I love you, too.”

“Sweetheart, your dad and I want to stop fighting all the time,” Rachel speaks up and brushes through Grace’s messy hair. “It took us a while to figure out how to do that, but we know it now. We decided to try not to be around each other as much anymore. That means that Daddy is going to live with Grandma and Grandpa for a while, and you and I will stay here.”

Grace starts to cry, and Danny and Rachel have to hold themselves together not to join her.

“That does not change how much I love you, baby. Danno loves you so much. I’m not going away forever, I promise you that. We’ll still get to see each other. Once I’ve got my own place, you’ll even have two bedrooms - one with mom and one with me.”

“Daddy will pick you up as often as he can,” Rachel explains and looks at Danny, assuring him as much as Grace. “You can call him whenever you want, you two will spend a lot of time together, and you can have sleepovers at his place when Daddy doesn’t have to work.”

“I don’t want you to go away,” Grace wails and wraps her arms around Danny’s neck. “Please stay!”

Danny catches Grace and holds onto her tightly. He assures her that he is not going anywhere tonight, and soothingly runs a hand over her back. While she’s crying into his shirt, he can’t help some of his own tears emerging. For a moment, he hates himself for being the reason his little girl is upset. He has seen the fear and desperation in Grace’s eyes, and to him, it is just another personal failure he can add to the list. He is not sure he’ll ever get over being responsible for disappointing Grace the way he has, even if what they’re doing now is in part to improve Grace’s daily life in the long run.

He gets up and resorts to softly rocking Grace, shifting her weight in his arms ever so slightly. She’s too old to be carried like that, and Danny does feel the strain after a while, but he never stops. She’s his baby, overly tired and upset because of him. At this point, he’ll do anything to get her more comfortable. It takes a long time before he feels her calming down, and another while before she falls asleep. He can feel her grow even heavier and hears her breathing evening out. He places a soft kiss on her head before gently laying her down on his side of the bed. Together with Rachel, he pulls up the covers and picks up the plush bunny that fell out of Grace’s grip. He tucks it under the blanket as well.

“There went our plan to calmly explain it to her tomorrow,” Danny moans and runs his hands over his face a few times, feeling bone-tired.

Rachel comfortingly places her hand on Danny’s chest before she realizes what she’s doing. She quickly drops it and sighs. “We’ll talk to her about it again after she’s had some sleep. We’ll get through this, Danny. I think we should not prolong the separation process unnecessarily, to avoid getting Grace’s hopes up. But it doesn’t mean you have to leave first thing in the morning. Let’s try and get some rest, then we’ll have breakfast, talk to Grace, and see how we’ll go from there. Okay?”

“Yeah, okay. Sure. Sounds reasonable,” Danny yawns and nods at Rachel. “Stay with her, okay? I’ll take the couch. If there’s anything you need, or if there’s a problem with Gracie, come and wake me up.”

Satisfied at Rachel’s nod, he bends over his daughter one last time and softly runs the back of his hand over her cheek. He can feel himself tearing up once more, and abruptly turns around. He pushes the suitcase aside, so no one can stumble over it in the dark, and grabs a spare bedspread from the closet. He waits by the door until Rachel gets under the covers herself. He swallows hard upon realizing that this may very well be the last time he sees his wife like this.

“Good night.”

“Good night, Danny.”

He nods and closes the door behind him.

As he lies on the couch by himself, he knows sleep won’t come for him. There are too many things keeping him up. Too much has happened. Too much to think about. Danny still can’t believe it. He’s 31 years old, getting a divorce, and has essentially rendered himself homeless, all within one hour. And the worst is having to leave Grace behind. He is not sure he’ll ever be able to forgive himself for putting her through such an emotional turmoil. He has failed in a way he never thought possible. He knows he has to pull through the next day as best as he can. At least until it’s time for him to get his suitcase and walk out of his home. Then, he’ll have to explain to his parents what happened and ask for a place to stay. They’d never turn him away, but just the thought of needing to tell them makes him want to throw up. Just a few more hours before he can finally crash and unravel. The storm is over, finally over, but the damage it has left is devastating.

***

 


	9. Chapter 09

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First time Grace stays with Danny after the separation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ‘Firsts’ written by EmptySky, betaed by Celeste6 and pearlydewdrop.

** Chapter 09: First time Grace stays with Danny after the separation**

_ Danny 31 years old _

_ Grace 6 years old _

“Here we are… Welcome to your secondary residence!”

“What does that mean?”

“It means that you’ve got two homes, now. One is with your mom, as always, but it can also be with me when you come and visit. Though I should tell you that this place here is just temporary, until I find something nicer.”

“Where will you live then, Danno?” Grace asks curiously as she looks up at her father with wide eyes.

“I don’t know yet, Monkey, but for now, this will have to do. I want to be as close to you as possible so I rented this room. Did you notice how quickly we were here? It’s just down the block from where you live with Mommy.”

“Yeah, we were fast! Can we go inside now?”

“Absolutely!”  Danny retrieves the keys from the lock and opens the wooden door wide. “There you go.”

He lets Grace go in first and follows, locking the door behind them. Danny rattles the handle a few times to make sure they’re securely locked in before he’s satisfied. He helps Grace out of her jacket and puts it over the back of the old faded armchair.

“You can look around if you want to,” Danny says as he takes off his own coat. “I know it’s not big, but it’s got two beds.”

He places his jacket over Grace’s and leans against the armchair casually. On the inside he’s nervous as he watches his daughter take in the interior of the run-down motel room he moved in earlier this week. It’s small and it also smells a bit. Of what, Danny is not sure, but he plans on remedying it with scented candles or air fresheners by the time he goes shopping next. But it’s clean, in a rather safe area and it’s close to Grace.

At first, Grace just stands rooted to one spot and looks around. There is not much to see, but since this is her first time visiting the place that she knows she will spend some of her time at, and since this is her Danno’s new home now, she does not want to miss a single detail. She looks at the tacky picture of Weehawken Water Tower - why anyone would hang up a picture of it is beyond Danny entirely - and slowly walks through the room. Her fingers roam over the small dresser with the TV on it and she gets up on her toes to peek behind it, finding nothing but dust. Her bright eyes take in everything - the adjoining bathroom with the toilet, sink and shower cubicle, the kitchenette with the small table and the two plastic chairs and the two single beds with the striped bedding.

“Danno? Which bed is mine?”

“How about you pick the one you want? So far I’ve slept in the one closer to the door, but I wouldn’t mind if you wanted it.”

Grace smiles and hops onto the bed near the kitchenette.

“I want this one! You can keep yours.”

Danny nods and returns her smile. He really wouldn’t have minded switching beds for his daughter, but he’s glad about her choice. Not that he truly expects anything to happen, but over the years, he has learned to be cautious. Worst case scenario barely ever takes place, yet, he’d like to be in between Grace and the front door should anyone break in.  

“Thank you, baby.”

Grace gets off the bed and approaches the purple plastic box by the far wall, harboring toys and books. Danny had gotten some of them from his former apartment and newly bought the rest, so Grace would have enough things to play with whenever she’d come and visit. It is money he couldn’t afford to spend, with supporting Rachel and Grace financially, still paying for the apartment, the motel room and needing to feed himself. There are a lot of expenses, and though Danny hopes their divorce will proceed as peaceful as their separation went on so far, he knows he will need to hire a lawyer soon. He isn’t sure how he will pay for it all, as money is already tight. He doesn’t want to ask his parents for help, but he isn’t sure how he will make ends meet without their support.

“You got me new toys!” Grace exclaims happily. “Thank you, Danno!”

“You’re welcome, Monkey. So what do you think of the room? Are you okay to stay with me?”

Grace nods and Danny feels some weight fall off his shoulders in relief.

“I’m glad to hear that. But remember, this is just temporary. I’m looking for a new apartment, where you will have your own room. But until I do, this will have to do. I got it because it’s cheap and it’s closest to you and your mom.”

“So you can see me often, right?”

“You got it. If we miss each other too much it takes only a couple of minutes for us to meet up. And when you get to stay with me on a weekend, like you do now, we can spend even more time together because you’re back with Rachel in less than five minutes.”

“That’s good. Because I think I miss you a lot,” Grace says dejectedly, but just like that her mood changes and she beams up at her father. “It can be almost like before! I like talking to you on the phone but I like seeing you even more.”

Danny looks down at her sadly but nods. “Yep, maybe it can be a bit like before. But Gracie… I will always come to you when you need me, but with school and work it may not be every day. It’ll more likely be the way it’s been the past month. With the exception that you get to stay with me every other weekend, and on some days after school, too.”

“That’s fine. Mommy said that I can call you whenever I want. Daddy, can we play?”

“Of course,” Danny agrees and sits down on the floor, Grace following suit.

Over the next hour, they play with her dolls, play zoo with her stuffed animals, and try out some of the new toys he bought for her. Grace is in her element, ruling her kingdom of plush, and Danny is just happy to have her there. He has never minded playing with her, and never wished for a son to do more masculine things with. Not that he’d admit to his colleagues, but he’s perfectly fine having tea parties and dressing up dolls as long as Grace wants it. Having a daughter is nowhere as daunting as it is a blessing, and he relishes in spending time with her, seeing her so happy.

It’s starting to get dark outside by the time Grace announces she’s hungry and Danny orders pizza for them. It doesn’t help his budget, but this is the first time he has had Grace for more than a few hours, so what the hell.

They eat their slices sitting on Danny’s bed, watching TV at the same time. It’s comfortable, and if it wasn’t for the weird smell, or the old fashioned wallpaper, it would be just like they used to be when they were still a family.

“Danno, will we live here for a long time?”

“God, I hope not,” Danny chuckles dryly and takes another hearty bite of his cheese pizza. “No Monkey. Your grandparents were very nice to let me stay with them after I moved out but I wanted to get back up on my own feet as soon as possible. And as I already said, this is just because it’s so close to you, until I find something better.”

“And where will you move then?”

“I don’t know yet. Once I find something I like, I’ll let you know. Either way, you will have your own room, or at least somewhere to sleep without me in the same room.”

“Can’t you just come home?” Grace asks, her eyes wide with hope.

“No, I’m sorry, baby. This is my new home for now.”

“But why?”

Danny sighs and cocks his head, trying to think of something to say that she will understand.

“Gracie, your mom and I had a lot of problems. We didn’t know how to fix them for a long time, so it got really difficult. The best way to solve them is for us not to be together anymore. That way, we cannot fight all the time, and you won’t be sad to see us arguing.”

“Why did you fight?”

“Adults just do, sometimes. Even over silly things. When you’re around someone for a long time, like your mom and I were, you sometimes forget to appreciate each other.” Danny sees Grace’s blank expression and tries to explain it as best he can, “Remember when Uncle Matt gave you the plush horse for your birthday? You played with it every day, for a long time, and you didn’t even look at the other stuffed animals you had. But after a while, you chose some other toys to play with. And you did not use the horse as often anymore, right? You still loved it, but you didn’t spend as much time with it as you used to. Which is totally fine - don’t look at me like that - because it’s just a plush animal. It wasn’t that important for you anymore to spend much time with it, right? But when it happens to real people, married people, it’s not good. We stopped talking, wanted different things and then it wasn’t enough to stay together anymore. Do you get what I’m saying?”

“I think so.” Grace bites her lower lip slightly in concentration. “I hope it doesn’t happen to us too, because I really like you and Mommy.”

Danny gulps down the last bite of his pizza and reaches for Grace, pulling her on his lap facing him and hugs her tightly before settling her back on his thighs.

“Grace, what I just said never applies to your children. Maybe you’re still a bit too young to understand all of it, but you cannot compare loving your child to anyone else. It goes much deeper. I loved your mom, very much so, but it didn’t even come close to how much I love you. No matter what you do, if you lie to me or break all of my stuff, if you do something that lands you in prison or if you’re mad at me and decide not to talk to me anymore, I’ll still love you more than anything else in the whole wide world. Okay?”

“Okay. I love you a lot, too… Danno, do you love Mommy?”

Danny sighs, “It’s hard to explain, Gracie. I’ll always think of her in a good way, cause she had you in her belly and made me your dad. She and I were together for a really long time and we did some good things together. I like her a lot for that but it’s just not enough for us to stay together.”

“Does Mommy love you?”

“You will have to ask her that.”

Grace looks down dejectedly. “So you’re not moving back in with us?”

“I’m sorry, I’m not. You and your mom will stay in the apartment together. You guys might move somewhere new, I know she talked to you about it. But when she finds a new place, I won’t be there. And when I find a new place, you’ll have a room there but your mom can’t come.”

“I’m a bit sad that I only get to see you one at a time,” Grace says quietly. “I liked it when we were all together. I like being here, but I wish Mommy was here too.”

Danny smiles sadly when she wraps her arms around his neck and holds on tightly. He hugs her back and brushes his hands over her back soothingly. He knows how she feels, because his feelings are not dissimilar. He cannot tell her that he wishes for the same thing, not without risking confusing Grace, or have Grace tell Rachel and potentially get her mad at him.

“I’m sorry you’re sad, Monkey. Your mom and I never wanted this for you. I think that given some time, you’ll get used to the new situation eventually. And hey, we’ll try to have the best fun when we’re together, alright?”

“Yes.” Grace nods and rubs her eyes with her sleeve.

Danny checks his watch and realizes it’s close to Grace’s normal bedtime.

“Are you tired?”

“A little bit.”

“Let’s get ready for bed, then. You don’t have to sleep right away, we can read a book first. How does that sound?”

“Good.”

Danny ushers her into the tiny bathroom when she agrees and together, they brush their teeth. Grace barely reaches the sink, and Danny makes a mental note to get her something to stand on for the next time she comes to visit. He lifts her up so she can spit and rinse, and has her change into pajamas while he changes in the bedroom.

Grace jumps onto the bed once she is done, and watches as her father makes sure the door is still securely locked, all windows are closed and the slightly dusty curtains are drawn shut.

“Can we read the book about the mouse?”

“Sure!” Danny rummages through Grace’s toy box and retrieves the book in question. He watches Grace crawl under the covers and waits until she has gotten comfortable, then sits down at her side and reads her a chapter. She’s quiet, as she always is when she’s read to, and tracks the words as he reads them and looks at the pictures. She’s growing more tired quickly, and it doesn’t take long until it’s obvious that she is having trouble keeping her eyes open.

Danny closes the book after finishing the chapter and places it beside the bed. He tucks her in gently and kisses her forehead.

“Thank you so much for spending the weekend with me. I’m looking forward to tomorrow. Good night, Monkey. Sweet dreams!”

“Maybe we can go to the playground tomorrow?” Grace yawns and snuggles further into the pillow. “Good night, Danno. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Danny straightens up and plans on moving to the armchair. When he realizes that they are sharing one single room, he knows that there is no way he can watch TV, listen to music, or even read, without keeping his daughter from sleeping. And since there is no way Danny would ever leave the room with his daughter alone inside, there isn’t much left for him to do. He sighs as he gets under the covers of his own bed. Oh well. Turning in early might be good. After all, he has not gotten a truly restful sleep in a long time. He doesn’t get enough sleep period.

It has been a tough month for Danny, for whom it has sunken in that his quality of living has

deteriorated immensely. It’s not just the motel room. While he has been living with his parents right after separating from Rachel, he has seen Grace every second to third day, for a few measly hours. He has picked her up from school, gotten her from Rachel for a few hours to visit him and her grandparents on the weekend, and talked to her on the phone every day. It doesn’t nearly amount to the time they used to spend together. The mistakes he has made have cost him greatly, and he keeps on thinking about what he lost.

He occupies himself during the day. He works a lot anyway, but he pours himself into work these days. He and Rachel have figured out a schedule, but it’s bumpy. School comes first, and apart from that they have to see how things go. At work, Danny manages not to think about his messed up private life. His partner also excels at keeping his thoughts focused, the bad thoughts confined to the back of his head. It is during days off and in the evenings when his mind catches up to what happened.

The nights are the worst. It’s when he realizes how truly alone he is. He has been with Rachel since his early twenties. They barely ever spent time apart. It is strange to suddenly go to bed without good night kisses from his daughter and wife, to lie in bed without Rachel’s warm body by his side, without anyone to talk to.

His family has been his lifeline. His mother immediately enveloped him in one of her best hugs and ushered him inside when he had shown up at his parents doorstep, a bag in his hand. No questions asked. She must have seen it in his eyes. His father had accepted him with open arms as well. His father had also made sure that Danny was not left alone for long periods of time. His mother kept him company during the day, involving him in talks, whereas his father had sat down with him. Sometimes, they didn’t even talk. They just sat next to each other, staring out from the porch, sometimes drinking one or more beers. His sisters had stopped by, checking in on him as well. And Matt had turned out to be the ultimate savior.

Ever since Danny checked into the motel and booked the room they are in, Matt has stopped by every night. Tired from work, surely having better things to do than keeping his big brother company, he’d come every night, sat with him, talked him through his loneliness and then headed for work, only to come back the same evening and do it all again. Without his brother there… Danny does not want to think about it.

Things are slightly looking up now. Tonight is the first time Grace is staying during the night. Rachel promised them Friday after school until Sunday evening. Tonight is also the first time Matt will be absent, though he has a feeling that his brother will be back by Sunday night. He is grateful for his family, but he is even more grateful to have his daughter with him now. Maybe with her here, his mind will be at ease, if only for one weekend. In the few hours he has had her, he’s been happy in a way he hasn’t been in a while.

Grace is his life. He has always known that, from the moment he first laid his eyes on her and held her in his arms. He will cherish every moment he has with her, every second of it.

The thought is soothing.

He is dozing off, close to falling asleep, when he startles awake at movement coming from the bed next to him. In the dark, he can make out Grace’s silhouette as she leaves her bed, her feet softly pad on the floor. Before he can make sense of what she’s doing, she climbs up on his bed wordlessly and crawls under the covers with him. He feels her scoot closer to him and presses her back to his chest.

She reaches back and fumbles for his arm, dragging it over her middle. It’s just the way they cuddled in bed on the weekends and now there’s only Rachel missing, who’d normally put her arm over Grace too and rest her hand on Danny’s hip. Grace doesn’t seem to be bothered though, as she sighs contentedly and relaxes, falling asleep immediately.

For the first time in a month, Danny falls asleep with a smile on his face.

***


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First Christmas after the divorce

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ‘Firsts’ written by EmptySky, betaed by Celeste6 and pearlydewdrop.

** Chapter 10: First Christmas after the divorce**

_ Danny: 31 years old _

_ Grace: 6 years old _

Danny has no reason to be this upset. There really is nothing to justify his foul mood. ‘I asked for it’, Danny thinks as he turns over to lie on his belly, while secretly hoping to suffocate in the pillow and be put out of his misery. It is his own fault after all so he should grin and bear it, dealing with the consequences without complaining.

Technically, it’s a day like any other. Except it really isn’t. It’s Christmas Day and his daughter is not here. What always was, and should be, a merry celebration with family has turned into a sulking event for Danny. The custody arrangement has them alternating holidays, and this Christmas it’s Rachel’s turn to have Grace. It is also the first Christmas since their separation and following divorce, the first Christmas Danny has to spend without Grace since she was born.

Usually, he is not hung up on single days. He gets his daughter on one workday per week as well as every other weekend. He has been lucky for the most part. Rachel is very reasonable - at least concerning visitation - and often interprets the legal custody arrangement in his favor. Danny goes to great lengths to make the dates he’s been assigned, but with work, there has been days on which he just hasn’t been able to have her with him.

Instead of reproaching him, Rachel has been lenient and with Grace’s best interest in mind, offered alternative days. Just last month, after finishing a tedious and time consuming case, Rachel had offered him two weekends in a row to make up for lost time.

But now it’s Christmas. The ultimate family celebration and probably the most important holiday in the Williams household. And though he is not entirely alone, being surrounded by family, he feels miserable.

It’s not because he hasn’t been able to eat much, mostly been picking at his food. It’s because here he is, thirty-one years old, just divorced, lying fully clothed and sulking in bed in his old room, once again with his parents. He had wanted to work, seriously intending on working a double shift in order to end up in bed, too tired to think straight.

He has done it before after all. It helps him forget his problems, if only temporary. Only this time, his family hadn’t let him. His mother had been appalled upon hearing of his plans and she’d guilt-tripped him into spending the holidays at their house.

He has stayed with them since the late afternoon of Christmas Eve. His siblings stopped by at some point, bringing their families and filling the house with more people than it was designed for. It’s just like old times with everyone getting together, except this time, two people are missing. His family has gone out of their way to distract him with conversations, games, a movie, a long walk in the snow and with watching his brother make a fool out of himself going down a hill on a sled. Their attempts at cheering him up were well-meant but did not work. Danny knows that it’s unfair to everyone else to remain in a foul mood because his family misses Grace as well. It is also their first Christmas without their first-born granddaughter present.

To avoid bringing everyone else down with him, he had gone to bed early last night, but he has barely slept, lying awake most of the time and sometimes crying quietly. He thought about his failed marriage, his decision to call it quits and about what-ifs that might have prevented him and Rachel from breaking up. It has not helped. Because they are still divorced, and Grace is still not there with him. Only now his eyes are burning and his head hurts.

Danny huffs and turns on his back. He picks up the photos lying by his side and looks at them with longing. They’re a bit tattered at the edges, from holding onto them for so long and brushing over their surface with his fingers. One of them is of Grace. It’s a photo she gave him for his birthday. ‘So he’d always have her with him’, she had said. It doesn’t matter that he has countless other photos in albums, his phone and his wallet. It was very thoughtful and fulfilled its purpose because Danny does carry it with him at all times. God, he misses the kid.

He flips through the photos in his hand and feels very bitter on the inside. The next one is of Danny, Rachel and Grace after a family outing. He doesn’t even remember who took the photo but it used to be one of his favorites. It shows them during better times, before they were unable to stop arguing. Rachel is leaning against Danny, with him resting his chin on her shoulder, his arms wrapped around her middle and with her hands resting on his. They had watched Grace drawing with chalk on her grandparents driveway. It had not been a special moment, but the memory stings. What makes the entire situation worse for Danny is that Grace might be spending Christmas with Rachel’s new boyfriend while he does not get to see her.

He is pulled out of his train of thoughts by the ringing of his phone and he fumbles to get it out of his pants.

“Hello?”

“Merry Christmas, Danno!”

And just like that, Danny’s bad mood evaporates, leaving a bittersweet taste at hearing the voice he misses every day. He sits up and leans against the bed’s headboard.

“Thank you, Gracie. Merry Christmas to you, too!”

“Guess what, Daddy!”

“Tell me!”

“Santa came!”

“Wow, that’s so awesome.” Danny smiles at the exuberant joy in his daughter’s voice and imagines her practically bouncing up and down with excitement. “What did he bring?”

“I got a book of fairy tales, new scrunchies with flowers on them and crayons. And guess what, I’ve got a present for you, too. Mommy said that maybe Santa doesn’t know where you live yet so we got you something just in case. Did Santa find you, Daddy?”

“That is very sweet of you, thanks Monkey. Yep, Santa found me, and he even left presents here for you. You can open them next time you come and visit. And what you got sounds cool. I bet you’ll look even more beautiful with the flower hair ties, if that’s even possible. Do you want to tell me about your day so far?” Danny relaxes against the pillows, tension he did not even know he felt leaving his body.

“I woke up early because I remembered it was Christmas Day, but Mommy did not want to get up yet. So she tickled my back a little bit and I think we fell asleep again. But then we went and checked and Santa really came. We opened presents and I drew some pictures for you and grandma to hang up on the wall. Then Mommy and I had breakfast and baked some cookies and we met Stan for a walk in the snow. That was a lot of fun. It was really cold outside, so Mommy made me some hot chocolate,” she sprouts off excited, but then gets more subdued. “What did you do this morning, Danno? Are you all alone?”

Danny knows he shouldn’t feel bitter or angry that Rachel has moved on, as it is her right, but it’s difficult. They’ve separated less than a whole year ago, their divorce finalized this October. What bothers him a great deal is that Rachel is dealing with their break-up a lot better than he is. While she has clearly moved on, he only found the strength to take off his wedding ring last month.

As much as he wants to hate Stan, whom he has met, he can’t. He is about their age and a real estate developer, someone Rachel met during a meeting at work. Danny doesn’t know how serious their relationship is, but with Rachel introducing Stan to Grace and letting Danny know about him, he will probably be around for a while. Stan seems to be nice enough to Grace. Still, to have confirmation that another man is taking his place and to imagine the three of them sitting under the Christmas tree, playing happy family, has him feeling sick to his stomach again.

“Danno?”

“Sorry, Monkey, I got distracted,” Danny sighs and tries to sound as upbeat as he can. “I’m visiting Grandma and Grandpa, and I spent the night. Matt, Stella, Bridget and their families are here, too. It’s slightly insane, but you know what Christmas at the Williams’ house is like. We opened our presents after breakfast, and since then, everyone is pottering around somewhere.”

“Can you give them kisses from me?”

“I will do that, sure. Though maybe not to your cousin. He has been naughty.”

“What did Eric do?”

“He decided it would be a great idea to use his inline skates indoors. He nearly crashed into the tree. You should have seen your aunt. Stella was furious. Eric is grounded now, in case that wasn’t clear.”

Grace giggles at hearing about her cousin’s crazy antics and seems pleased to hear Danny is not alone.

Danny doesn’t want to encourage his daughter worrying about him, but he has to admit that it feels nice to hear that she cares about him.

“As for the rest of the day, I’m not sure yet. Do you have any plans, Monkey?”

“Mommy and Stan haven’t finished thinking about what we could do, so I don’t know… Danno, Mommy wants to talk to you.”

Danny barely suppresses an annoyed groan, not feeling up to talking to her today. But it’s not like he has much of a choice, not with Grace on the other end of the line.

“Alright. Have a great day, Gracie. I love you so much.”

“I love you, too.”

He hears the phone being passed on and then Rachel is on.

“Hello Daniel. Merry Christmas to you.”

“Merry Christmas, Rachel, thanks.”

“How are you?”

Danny doesn’t know what to say at first, as he is certain she knows that he is, in fact, not feeling very well.

“Sorry…” She sounds hesitant and very soft spoken. “I know I don’t get to ask you that anymore, and I can imagine how you feel today. Are you with Ed and Clara?

“I am, yeah. Work was my first choice, but they had their way and here I am. So yeah… probably better this way. Let’s just say I’ll be glad when the holidays are over.”

“I’m glad you’re not alone, Danny,” Rachel sighs. “Believe me, I never wanted any of us to suffer, or to hurt you.”

Danny swallows hard and shakes his head. “I’m sorry, I can’t do this now. You know what Christmas means to me, to my family. Sure, you deserve to have her just the same but from where I’m standing, you’re currently in a much better position.”

“Yes, I know. I got the better end of the custody agreement but I can tell you, I don’t feel much like a winner. And for your information, I’ll have the same issues on New Year’s, when she is with you.”

“That’s the life we chose, Rachel,” Danny groans and rubs his forehead when the pounding in his head seems to pick up the beat. “I had a lot of time to think about it all, you know? I know I made mistakes, and if I could take them back, I would. But what’s done is done. We need to get used to it, unless we all want to celebrate together. And even if I was able spend more than five minutes around Stanley, it wouldn’t be an option. Mom heard Grace talk about him, and to put it in the nicest way possible: Should you ever meet her somewhere, you better take cover.”

Rachel chuckles, though it sounds forced. “Thank you for the heads up. Danny, I’m sorry things have been strained lately. I want to make things right for Grace’s sake.”

“Is there anything else you’d like to talk about?”

“I think Grace told you all about our day? She was so excited in the days leading up to today that it’s a blessing the day has finally come. I think she might have spontaneously combusted otherwise,” Rachel says, her voice tense. “You know, Grace has always loved Christmas.”

“Please don’t,” Danny interrupts her quietly. “It’s too hard.”

“Danny, this Christmas has not been the same, for obvious reasons. Grace understood that. She is trying to be happy for me, but she’s disappointed. She misses the rituals, your crazy family… I cannot, in good conscience, do this. It’s hard for me too, even with Stan visiting. I don’t want to confuse her, but I want her happy. Danny, this won’t mean anything in the future, alright?”

“Rachel…”

“If you want to, you can come and pick her up. Spend the day with her, cheer her up.”

“For real?” Danny stammers after being speechless for a while, even checking the phone to make sure it’s really his ex-wife he is talking to.

“I’ll get her ready in a minute.” She sounds like she’s tearing up but Danny isn’t sure. “Just have her back before bedtime, okay?”

Danny hears Grace cheer loudly in the background and the offer Rachel made sinks in. He smiles and realizes he’s tearing up himself. He wipes his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt.

“Thank you, Rachel. Thank you! I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”

He hangs up and exhales shakily, feeling almost giddy. He laughs and jumps out of the bed, wiping his eyes in relief once more. He puts on his shoes and jacket in record time and is almost out of the door when he catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror. Danny frowns at the state of his hair and makes a quick detour into the bathroom, washing his face and combing his messy strands into his trademark appearance. He bounces down the stairs with a light step and a smile on his face. His family looks up at him with something akin to worry.

“I’ll be back in a bit, guys.”

“Don’t tell me you got called into work…?!”

Danny breaks out into a wide grin and shakes his head. He laughs when he realizes his family thinks he has lost it entirely, and wipes at his eyes once more.

“Nope, no work for me. It’s even better. And hey? I know it’s crowded, but please try to make room for one more. I won’t be long, I just got to go and pick up my daughter. And put together some food, will you? I’m starving.”

***


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First time Grace upsets Danny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ‘Firsts’ written by EmptySky, betaed by Celeste6.

**Chapter 11: First time Grace upsets Danny**

_ Danny: 32 years old _

_ Grace: 7 years old _

“Danno!”

“Hey, Gracie,” Danny greets his daughter and grunts as she slams into him at high speed and nearly knocks him against his car. He hugs her and bends forward to give her a kiss while she buries her face in his jacket. He smiles and rubs her back when she remains pressed up to him and keeps her arms wrapped around him tightly. “What a nice greeting, Monkey. It’s so good to see you. Are you okay there?”

Grace nods, her response muffled as her face is still hidden against Danny, “I’m good. I’m glad you came.”

“What do you mean? Of course I came! It’s our weekly father-daughter-day, I wouldn’t want to miss that!”

“Where are we going this time?”

“Well, I wanted to take you somewhere for lunch, and depending on your homework maybe go shopping at the mall. Right now, we’re not going anywhere though, because you’re well on your way to cut off all circulation in my waist. Which is bad because then I can’t drive the car. And with you not being able to drive either, and me not able to afford a cab, we’ll be stranded here in front of school. Shame, I was really looking forward to our planned activities. But on the bright side, you’ll be the first here for classes tomorrow.”

Grace lets him go immediately and smiles up at him sheepishly, laughing when she sees the twinkle in her father’s eyes.

“It sounds like a lot of fun! Can we go? I’m hungry. I shared my breaktime snack with Emily because she forgot hers in her dad’s car.”

“That was nice, Grace. I’m proud of you. But we can’t have you hungry,” Danny exclaims in mock consternation and snaps his fingers as he motions for Grace’s backpack. “Give me that and get in the car.”

Danny holds the door open with one hand until Grace is in her seat and has buckled her seatbelt, then stows the backpack inside the trunk. He gets in the car himself and with ease merges into the thick rush hour traffic.

“Where do you want to go? Do you want some fried chicken? Burgers? Tacos? Or maybe pizza?”

“Can we go for sandwiches?” Grace beams up at him, “We haven’t been out for sandwiches in a long time.”

Danny gives her a long look, “Really? Of all the choices you have, you decide on sandwiches?”

“Yes!” Grace flashes him one of her wide, toothy smiles, and that’s all it takes to wrap Danny around her finger.

“Alright, sandwiches it is. Are you sure we’re related?”

The drive to the diner doesn’t take long. Danny knows the area like the back of his hand and takes alternate routes when traffic is too heavy. Grace picks a booth by the diner’s window and reaches for the menu. Danny takes a seat opposite to her and watches her attempt to read the menu with pride, finding adorable how she’s pushing out the tip of her tongue in concentration and tries to sound out the letters to form the words. It’s a big menu, with lengthy descriptions of the respective ingredients, but the pictures next to the dishes help her make a decision. Their order is quickly placed in front of them and both of them happily dig into their food.

“How was school?”

“As always.” Grace shrugs and takes a sip from her water.

“Meaning?”

“It was okay. It’s a bit boring sometimes, but the teachers say we have to pay attention anyways.”

Danny chuckles at her sigh but nods. “Yeah, I get what you’re saying. Some of the stuff you learn is very helpful - look at you, reading the menu! When I was your age, I thought school was boring, too. Especially math. God, I hated math.”

“Oh… I was going to ask you if you could help me with my math homework later.”

“I think I can deal with second grade math. I’ll have a look once we’re home. Don’t worry, we’ll be fine.”

“A lot of the kids in my class don’t like math.”

“Yeah, well, I can see why they don’t. It doesn’t matter what the others think, though. It’s important you like it. That’s good. But back to telling me about your day, math aside?” Danny trails off, stuffing his mouth with fries.

“A boy ran in the hallway even though we’re not supposed to. He slipped and fell down. I think he was bleeding a bit, but I did not see him very well. His mom picked him up.”

“Wow… I hope he’s okay.”

“He’s always running. Maybe he won’t anymore, after today,” Grace ponders and chews on her grilled cheese and eggs sandwich in thought. “How was your day, Danno?”

“Pretty uneventful, to be honest. I didn’t mind it though, that way I was able to pick you up on time. I caught up on some paperwork that was piling up, and then I had to meet up with an attorney. I’m testifying against some thugs in court next week and we went over some last things. It was rather boring. I was really glad when I got to leave and wait for you.”

Grace smiles at him, truly satisfied. “I like it when we do fun stuff together. But I don’t mind staying at home and playing together, I like that too. We’ve got some extra time today. We had a lot of homework, but Mr. Harper was home sick so we got to start on our homework instead. I’m almost done!”

“Awesome. If you want, you can do the rest here after you finish your plate. That way we could get shopping and still have time to get comfy at home before I’ve got to drop you off at your mom’s.”

“Sounds good. Hey Danno, did you hear that I get to be the flower girl at Mommy and Stan’s wedding?”

“I didn’t, no.” Danny takes a long swig of his coke to wash down the bite of grilled chicken that he has trouble swallowing after Grace’s announcement.

“It’s not until the month after the next, but I’m already excited! I think Mom is too. I helped her pick out the decorations and the cake. And she showed me the dress she’ll wear. It looks so pretty on her. Stan said that he will buy me a new dress to wear, and Mom already gave me a new necklace. I have never been to a wedding. Have you ever been to a wedding, Danno?”

“Yes, I have.” Danny smiles sadly at his daughter’s innocent question, though he feels a bit sick.

“Did you enjoy it? Was it good?”

“I did.” Danny nods and wistfully thinks back to his own wedding years ago, “I think it was quite good. Everyone invited seemed to have a great time.”

“Can you come to Mom’s wedding, too? Then you’d see how pretty I look. Mommy said I look pretty!”

Danny is silent at first, taking another few sips of his drink to bridge the time gap and avoid getting Grace upset. Then he shakes his head softly. “No, I cannot come. I don’t think Stan or your mother would be happy to have me there. Which is totally fine by me. I think it’s tradition that the person you used to be married to does not show up for your wedding.”

Grace furrows her brows as she chews on the last bite of her sandwich, appearing to be deep in thought.

“Are you sad now? I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be, please. It’s okay, Monkey. I like how excited you are,” he says, not answering her question but wanting to lift her mood. “I hope you all will have a fun day, and I’m sure you’ll be the most beautiful flower girl in the history of flower girls.”

His words have the desired effect and Grace is back to beaming at him.

“Dad, can I be the flower girl at your wedding?”

“My wedding? Do you know something I don’t?” Danny chuckles at the blank expression on Grace’s face. “There isn’t anyone I want to marry right now.”

“Oh… Will you be alone forever?”

“I don’t know. I hope not. We’ll see how things go from here, but it’s all good. I think I like it the way it is at the moment.”

And as he says it, Danny realizes that he is not lying. It has taken him some time, but he has finally accepted things the way they are. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t still miss Rachel, sometimes. Not so much Rachel the person, but as the role she had in his life, the way they belonged together and the daily life together with their daughter. That time has long gone. Since Rachel announced she was getting married to Stan, not even a year after their divorce, things have gotten complicated once more. Their tone is rougher, they’re back to fighting and try to avoid each other as much as possible. Which is an impossible task with having a seven year old daughter and needing to coordinate their schedules and needing the other to make certain decisions regarding the way she’s brought up. At the moment, they’re relying on text messages and even the occasional email just to avoid directly speaking with each other.

Danny notices Grace is staring at him with worry and realizes he has drifted off again, even missing that their empty plates have been cleared already.

“Sorry, I was thinking about something. What you said isn’t quite right, though. I’m not alone. I’ve got you.”

Grace seems to be satisfied and nods. She opens her backpack and gets started on her homework.

Danny signals for the waiter and orders them another round of beverages, watching Grace and helping out as needed. His thoughts go back to the life he had, as he looks at his hand. A year without it, and he still feels somewhat naked without his wedding ring. He didn’t always have his way with words, but wearing the ring with pride had been his way of expressing his love and commitment. He still remembers every detail of the day he wore the ring for the first time. He can see Rachel in front of him, wearing her wedding dress on their wedding day. It had not been a fancy dress, something cheap to accommodate their financial situation at the time, but it had been beautiful nevertheless. He remembers her radiant smile as she had walked down the aisle of the small church, her hair done up beautifully, holding a small bouquet of red roses, eyes only for him. He remembers thinking she was the most beautiful woman on Earth and how lucky he was to have her. He also remembers their first kiss as husband and wife, and how good she smelled as they had danced in a tight embrace. It had been a great day, a good time in his life.

Danny has accepted that it’s over between them. He has moved on, though he isn’t ready to look for a new partner yet. He is no longer grieving for what he has lost, looking forward and seizing the limited time he gets with his daughter to the fullest. But he is not sure he will ever be able to forgive himself for just letting her go instead of fighting for her, and for not seeing this coming.

***


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First time Danny sees Grace after he lands in Hawaii

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Firsts’ written by EmptySky, betaed by Celeste6

**Chapter 12: First time Danny sees Grace after he lands in Hawaii**

_ Danny: 33 years old _

_ Grace: 8 years old _

Danny has been on Hawaiian ground for less than an hour and he already hates it. He has boarded the plane back home at an icy 28°F, the way it should be during winter. Though he knew he had to expect a different climate, and hence changed into different clothes during the flight, this is insane. It’s torture for someone who lived - and liked living - in New Jersey all his life. Upon leaving the plane in Honolulu, the 79°F feels like walking repeatedly against a wall. It feels incredibly hot, uncomfortably so considering it’s January, and Danny is sweating.

It smells weird, very intensely, and the smell is everywhere. Danny has never been to Oahu, or on any other Hawaiian island, and would have given everything to avoid ever setting foot on the island. So he is not sure what it is he scents. He suspects it might be a mix of pineapple, the ocean and probably some exotic flowers. It’s nothing like home.

Just thinking about not getting to see Newark more than once or twice a year - if he is lucky, and then only for few days only - upsets him. While Hawaii may seem like paradise to most, he’d rather not be here. He has always liked living in the city, in the most densely populated state of the nation. He enjoys the hustle, the busy life; the different seasons with their respective weather, the cold winters with snow and the hot summers often spent at Jersey Shore. He already misses his home with the beautiful skyline and the view from Weehawken, the landscape, living only ten minutes from MetLife Stadium… There is so much more Danny could add to the list of things he wíll sorely miss. He’s used to the climate, the slightly salty scent from the Hudson, the distinct smell of the Hackensack Meadowlands, the stench of the refineries and, depending on where the wind is coming from, also the garbage of New York City… Okay, so he probably won’t miss that.

He is in an emotional turmoil. He feels raw inside, having had to say goodbye to all he knows. The place where he was born and raised, his family, his friends, his colleagues, work. It’s like a part of him is missing, feeling somewhat empty without the support and security he received through all those people. He is also angry about being forced to relocate and his helplessness to prevent it coming this far. The situation is not ideal, but Danny knows who he is doing it all for. His daughter is the only reason he is here. And because of that, there is also some comfort and the feeling of anticipation.

Danny pauses momentarily to wipe some of the sweat off his face and he sighs, hefting the bag slung over his shoulder up a little higher. If only it wasn’t so hot. Danny is tough, having proven over the years that he can endure a lot, but it appears that he just reached his limit. The stress of the past months have taken their toll on him, the worry eating at him, the financial strain, the countless meetings with his attorney, the court appearances and in the end, losing. His body seems to be overtaxed with his emotions, flying for 11 hours and then overcoming a temperature difference of 51 degrees.

He is sweating profusely, his heart is beating too fast and he feels slightly dizzy. He holds onto the handle of the overcrowded luggage cart tightly as he follows the exit signs, though he’d love very much to get on the next flight back. Before leaving New Jersey, he has gone through all of his belongings. He packed what he could carry, sold what was too heavy or too expensive to transport, and gave away all the other things. What he has on his cart, is most of what he currently possesses. He is about to start his life new from scratch. All because his ex-wife and her new husband have decided to move to Hawaii with his daughter, and the judge had concurred and dismissed his plea.

Danny had no choice but to follow, not being able to live without his little girl. That’s how he finds himself making his way through the airport, one month after their move, trying to get a cab big enough to transport what’s left of his life to the hotel. He will stay there for three nights before moving into his new apartment. Back home, he talked to a realtor on the phone and together, they narrowed his choices down to two apartments. He will personally view them tomorrow. Hopefully it works out. He literally cannot afford to be picky.

“Danno! DANNO!”

Danny stops dead in his tracks when he hears his name being yelled and spins around to locate the source. He looks around and sees Grace tearing through the airport towards him. He lets his bag fall, drops to his knees and opens his arms. Grace nearly throws them to the ground as she slams into Danny at full speed. She clings to him as she starts to cry, and he hugs her just as tightly. After a month, he finally has her back in his arms, and the relief is immense. So immense, he can’t help but tear up as well and doesn’t ever want to let her go again.

“I missed you, Daddy,” Grace hiccups and nuzzles her face against the side of his.

Danny puts his hands on Grace’s middle and softly pushes her back, creating just the slightest bit of distance between the two of them so he can get a good look at his daughter. His palms rest on her cheeks as he gently takes her face in his hands and smiles at her through his tears. He kisses the corner of her mouth, her nose, her forehead and brushes her hair out of her face, kisses her cheeks and then goes back to hugging her close. He knows other people are probably watching, or giving them funny looks, but he doesn’t care. He kisses the top of Grace’s head and gently sways them from side to side.

“I missed you too,” Danny whispers between kisses. “God, I missed you so much. I’m not letting you alone for such a long time ever again, you hear me? I’m so sorry it took me so long to sort everything out before I could follow you. I’m not going anywhere, now, okay? I’m here, I’ll stay close, always.”

Grace nods against his neck and sighs, relaxing into his body, truly at ease and content to be in his embrace.

Behind Grace’s back, Danny sees Rachel and Stanley walking towards them, holding hands. He only spares them a quick glance and registers them halting a few feet away from them. While Stan greets him with a polite smile and a nod, Rachel seems to be torn between feeling moved at the family reunion and being annoyed that Danny stayed true to his word and followed them to Hawaii. There has been bad blood between them in the months leading up to this day, their contact strained like never before.

Danny focuses back on his daughter and strokes Grace’s back as they continue to hug, and he speaks up once more, “I didn’t know you would be here.”

“It was a surprise,” Grace explains delightedly, beaming. “Grandpa and Grandma told me when you were landing so we could pick you up. Mommy even allowed me to skip school!”

“It was the best surprise ever,” Danny laughs and kisses her head again.

He wants to stand up when his weight gets too much for his knees to bear, but finds that Grace won’t let go. He holds onto Grace with one hand and reaches for the luggage cart with the other, pulling himself up with a grunt. He shifts her weight and hefts her up a little higher. She continues to keep her arms wrapped around his neck. Her legs are wrapped around his middle tightly and her head leans against his.

“Monkey, you’ve got to let go of me for a bit. I’ve got to take care of my bags, baby…”

Grace only holds on tighter and even whines a bit. Danny pats her back when she holds on a little too tight and calms her down. He looks conflicted, having to pick up the bag he dropped and move the luggage cart, but not wanting to set Grace down either.

Surprisingly, it’s Stan who solves his dilemma and steps in. He picks up Danny’s bag from the floor and hands it over, then grasps the cart’s handles and pushes it forward, further towards the exit. It surprises Danny, despite knowing that Stan is a decent guy.

Danny handled Rachel having a boyfriend well, and he probably could have dealt with them getting married just as well. But the way it played out, for her new partner to have such a big impact on all of their lives, such a big influence, was a no-go. It’s not so much about him being wealthy and having opportunities Danny will never even come close to. Danny is realistic enough to see and admit that they’re playing in different leagues. It stings a bit, he’d be lying if he said it didn’t, but it’s not a problem per se. It became a problem the second they decided to put Rachel and Stan’s interests over Danny’s, and took his daughter to this island. Stan has been trying to calm the waters for a long time, but in the end, he was on his wife’s side and got caught up in the messy custody battle.

“Thank you. Just… Thank you,” Danny says and puts as much meaning into the words as he can, to make sure he isn’t just thanking them for helping out with his luggage.

Rachel nods and hesitates, seemingly looking for the right words to say.

“Listen, Daniel. I remember how exhausted I was when we made the flight, and I wasn’t nearly as busy as you were this week. I figured you’d be too tired and would want to take the day slow, so I did not pack anything for Grace. I don’t think we can pry her away from you any time soon, though, and it would probably be nice for her if you two spent the day together. Would that be okay?”

“You know you don’t have to ask.” Danny smiles and gives Grace another smooch on her cheek, reveling in her giggles. “I wouldn’t want to miss spending the day with my monkey even if I hadn’t slept in a week. And there’s not much for me to do today, anyway. I had planned to stay in the hotel, maybe catch up on some sleep and unwind a little bit. I didn’t think you’d let me see her until I was fully settled in.”

Rachel looks like she’s about to utter a sharp retort, but thinks of it better and only clucks her tongue. “Well, it’s decided, then. Send me a text message if either of you gets too tired and I’ll send the driver to pick her up. The driver will come at 8 the latest, though.”

“Can’t I stay with Daddy tonight?” Grace asks hopefully.

“You’ve got school tomorrow, sweetheart. Today was an exception because you have not seen your father in so long. I want you home so you’ll be well rested in the morning.”

“I think it’s best if you sleep at your mom’s,” Danny interrupts whatever Grace is about to reply, showing some good will himself. “I’ve got to get up very early to meet with the realtor. And even if you came along, it would only be boring for you. But maybe I can invite you for dinner tomorrow?”

“Aww, do I really have to go?”

“Well, not right now, silly. Today, you get to do all kinds of boring things with me, like take a nap, check out the hotel and test the room service. Maybe nap some more. Are you down for that?”

Grace nods enthusiastically and turns around to beam at her mother, who returns a tired smile. Danny can tell she is trying hard to stay civil, which is a hard task considering their latest issues. Her marriage to Stan being the catalyst in their disagreement on how to raise their daughter.

It’s not about Stan providing Grace with new activities. It becomes a problem when Danny’s daughter gets to do activities Rachel and he never even discussed before. It’s not about Stan. It’s about them exposing Grace to a whole new way of life. She now lives in an environment where there is a maid, a cook for special events, a cleaner and a driver. It’s not how he wants to raise his daughter. Danny wants her to have the best opportunities in life, but he wants Grace to firmly have both feet on the ground.

Danny comes from a hard-working family. Money has never been overflowing in his life, and though there were many things he wishes he’d had and did not, it has not harmed him. It only made him stronger. He wants Grace to have a better life than he did, as every parent wishes for their child, but he also wants his daughter to appreciate the value of things. Grace will have more opportunities than he had. Danny does not feel bitter that it’s not him providing her with those chances, but another man in his place. But Danny does not know if going to a country club, having tennis lessons and going to fancy dance classes are good at her age. He knows he raised her well, so he does not worry too much, but he is not sure how much he will be able to do with his daughter living the way she does, walking into a ready-made position.

He cannot count on Rachel anymore, both of them having different opinions on what’s good for their daughter’s upbringing. Her promise to never keep him away from Grace, once stating that she knows how important he is to the girl, seems to be forgotten. How else could she have pushed forward their move to Hawaii, trying to get sole custody and changing their visitation arrangement to Danny’s disadvantage. A small victory is that Rachel only partially succeeded. She surely did not count on Danny pulling out all the stops and transferring from Newark to Honolulu, forfeiting a realistic opportunity to make Sergeant in the near future. It’s as if Rachel resents him for it, giving up work for Grace when he was unable to do it for her. But he had no choice. He cannot be without his daughter.

They arrive at the exit and make their way through the doors. For the first time, Danny steps out on real Hawaiian soil, not just airport concrete. It’s extremely bright, and Danny has to blink a few times to adjust. There are many palm trees, birds are chirping in different tones, and the smell is even more intense. It makes him miss home painfully even more. As if she senses it, Grace makes her presence known as she places a soft kiss on his cheek. And just like that, Danny feels as if he can breathe again. Just holding her, having her exhale against his neck softly, to hear her giggle as he tickles her side, makes it all worth it. And as she hugs him, pressing her nose against his, he thinks that maybe things will be alright.

***

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There won't be any updates next week, but I'll be back on Tuesday and Friday in the week after next.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First time Grace is proud of Danny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ‘Firsts’ written by EmptySky, betaed by Celeste6.

**Chapter 13: First time Grace is extremely proud of Danny**

_ Danny: 35 years old _

_ Grace: 10 years old _

“I’m exaggerating? Enlighten me, Steven, please. How am I exaggerating? Are you out of your mind?”

“Oh, come on!”

“No! Do you even hear yourself talk? You absolutely refuse to see it, don’t you?”

“It wasn’t even that bad, Danny.”

“Sure, if you compare it to a tornado... I wasn’t aware the Army let people with perception disorders join their little club. Huh. We’re doomed.”

“It’s the Navy…”

“I don’t care! You are insane, non compos mentis, you Neanderthal behemoth...”

“Really, Danny?”

“Do not interrupt me!” Danny shouts and his arms flail wildly as he gesticulates in anger, his temper only fueled by the stupid smirk Steve is throwing his way. “It may be news to you, but you use a car to drive on the road. I’m sure it’s a common concept, even on Hawaii! A car is for driving only!”

Steve seems to be somewhere between amused and offended as he leans against Danny’s desk, watching his partner pace up and down, talking himself into a rage once again.

“Using a car to fly three feet through the air and then landing in the damn ocean is not alright! Because you know why? It is not a plane! It is not a boat either, or a ship, or a dinghy! It is a damn car!”

“It did the job though, right?” Steve shrugs, finally getting a word in. “We rendered the bioweapon harmless before it could hurt anyone.”

Danny just stares at him for a moment, not even blinking once. If Steve didn’t know it better, he would think that Danny may not have heard him. But he knows his partner well enough at this point to know that just the opposite is the case. And really, it doesn’t take long until Danny starts yelling.

“You made a car fly into the ocean! You could have killed us both!”

“You are just mad because you had to take a swim.”

“Unbelievable,” Danny mutters more to himself and shakes his head. “What’s wrong with you? Did you, by any chance, get hit in the head multiple times on your secret missions? Cause if that’s the case, please do tell me so I can expect irrational behavior at all times. I like being alive, you know?”

Steve wants to reply, but is halted before he can begin when his partner holds up a finger to silence him. Danny pulls his ringing phone out of his pocket and checks the name displayed on the screen before answering.

“Great, just what I need to brighten my day,” Danny groans and pinches the bridge of his nose as he takes the call. “Rachel, hello, what can I do for you?”

“Do not wind me up, Daniel. I know your tone,” Rachel warns him, not wasting her time on exchanging pleasantries.

“I wouldn’t think of it. Look, I’m not in the mood nor do I have the time for our usual quarrels today. I’ve got a little less than two hours before I’m picking up Grace from school and I need to get a couple of things done before I can leave. Why are you calling?”

“That’s what I needed to talk to you about. I’m sorry, but I forgot to tell you that Grace gets out of school a bit earlier today.”

“Well, how much earlier?” Danny asks and frowns as he looks at his watch.

Rachel sighs, “She gets out in ten minutes.”

“Rachel… You cannot do those things to me,” Danny groans and mentally calculates how long it will take him to get to school. “I’m happy about every second I spend with Grace, you know that, but you can’t just not tell me things and then expect me to drop everything at the last minute. I’ll try to get there as fast as I can, but I won’t make it in time.”

Danny walks around Steve and stands behind his desk, tucking his phone between his ear and shoulder and arranges the documents in neat piles.

“I did not do it on purpose,” Rachel defends herself. “Contrary to your belief, I do not set out to make your life a living hell. I simply forgot to tell you, and I already apologized. Look, just pick her up. Drive safely, getting there a few minutes later won’t make a big difference. I’ll text Grace and let her know you’re running late, and that it’s my fault.”

“Alright. Thank you,” Danny sighs and hangs up.

Danny pockets his phone and focuses on the mess on his desk. He reaches for a pen and flips through the papers he needs to submit to Steve, quickly signing his name in the right bottom corner a few times.

“I swear, if you don’t get to it first, that woman will be the death of me one day.”

Steve stops Danny by lightly putting his hand on Danny’s arm, getting his attention.

“Hey, if you’ve got to pick up your daughter, then go. Work can wait,” Steve motions with his head towards the door.

Danny scratches his head as he looks at Steve and then back to the stack on his desk.

“I can come back after I picked her up…”

“No, buddy. It’s fine, don’t worry about those papers. Really, you can do the rest when you come in tomorrow. Go!” Steve practically ushers him towards the exit.

“Thank you,” Danny expresses his gratitude and claps Steve on the shoulder on his way out.

He hurries out of headquarters and runs to his car parked out front. He merges into traffic and almost races to school, not wanting to let his daughter wait any longer than absolutely necessary. It’s just his luck that a few miles in, he gets caught up in traffic. Danny briefly considers putting on his siren, but he knows that though he considers picking up Grace an emergency, no one else except maybe Steve would see it that way, and he does not want to get either of them in trouble should he get caught. Instead, he drums his fingers on the steering wheel impatiently. Losing precious minutes in stop-and-go traffic does nothing to improve his mood. Steve’s near attempt on his life, combined with another damage report he’ll have to submit to the governor concerning yet another car he witnessed being ruined, as well as Rachel’s call, did not sit well with Danny at all. He can only hope his day will improve soon.

Danny makes it to school with a lengthy delay and pulls up in front of the building as fast as possible while simultaneously guaranteeing the safety of all school children nearby. His tires may screech just the slightest bit as he slams on the brakes, parking the car in the second row. He pulls the keys from the ignition and gets out, already able to spot his daughter with other students near the entrance. He waves at her and she smiles at him widely. Making sure his car is locked, he jogs towards her and her friends, some of which he knows.

“Who’s that, Grace?” Danny hears a girl ask his daughter as he gets closer.

“That’s Danno,” Grace smiles widely and answers, the proudest he ever heard her, “He’s my dad.”

“That’s so cool…”

“Yeah, he is the coolest dad ever.”

And just like that, Danny’s day has gotten much better.

***


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First time Grace really scares Danny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ‘Firsts’ written by EmptySky, betaed by Celeste6.

**Chapter 14: First time Grace really scares Danny**

_ Danny: 37 years old _

_ Grace: 12 years old _

Danny closes his eyes in relief as he sinks down on one of Steve’s wooden deckchairs by the edge of the water, leaning back and stretching out his legs.

“Oh, thank God,” he groans as he gets to rest for the first time in a long day. “I don’t think I can feel my legs anymore, but the soles of my feet are on fire. Any more walking and my feet would have fallen off. Today has been crazy.”

“Yep, today has been a challenge. I’m a bit tired myself,” Steve concurs and grins when Danny looks at him incredulously.

“Really? We’ve been up for 15 hours, without a break or sitting down, save for the car ride. We ate lunch on the go hiking up Haiku Stairs in 88-degree weather, which should just not happen. I feel like I could sleep for a week and you are  _ a bit _ tired?”

Steve shrugs and leans back in his chair, reaching down beside him and retrieving two bottles of beer. He opens both and hands one over to Danny. He clinks his bottle against Danny’s before they take a sip and relax, gazing out at the softly lapping waves of the ocean.

“I meant to tell you that you made an excellent call in focusing on the wife. I’d have ruled her out entirely; her alibi seemed solid. How did you know it was her?”

“I didn’t know,” Danny clarifies and takes another sip of the cool brew. “I just had a hunch. Something felt off. Call it good instincts, if you want. I have been doing the job for a while, you know?”

“Yeah, I know. By the way, I appreciate your work. Couldn’t ask for a better partner, even if you’re convinced I don’t go by any rules or that I’m set out to kill you.”

“That’s the nicest thing you’ve said all week. Thanks! Love you, buddy.”

“Right back at you.”

“Seriously?” Danny gives him a pointed stare. “I declare my love for you and that’s your response? Wow, I feel special. No wonder you’re single.”

Steve snorts and slumps down in the chair a little further, stretching out his aching limbs and kneading the muscles in his neck with one hand.

“Yeah, because you’re faring so much better. Remind me again, since there is plenty of choice, who are you dating at the moment?”

“Sarcasm doesn’t suit you. And me being single doesn’t count. I work full time and I’ve got a kid, that makes it a lot more complicated. I’ve never done casual dating. With Grace to think of it’s not as easy as it may seem,” Danny says, then groans and also shifts his position. “You know, I don’t think I’ll be able to move again. Ever.”

“Good thing you don’t have to be anywhere tonight. You can stay as long as you want. And hey, my couch is all yours if you need it.”

“I might have to take you up on that offer…”

They fall into a comfortable silence as they sit next to each other, nursing a beer, unwinding after a seemingly never-ending day and watching the soothing waves. Their day started way too early with a wake-up call at 4am and with it two dead bodies. It went downhill from there, involving all of them hiking through mosquitos in sweat-inducing temperatures; and both of them are glad their day is coming to an end. Even Steve is tired, though not ready to admit it. He did, however, make arrangements so the team will have the next day off. Since tomorrow is Friday, they’re looking at a prolonged weekend, which Danny fully intends to spend either asleep or on the couch with as little movement as possible. Staying with Steve for a yet undetermined length of time sounds more and more appealing the longer Danny thinks about it. Steve’s couch is more comfortable than Danny’s is, anyway.

Danny is pulled out of his thoughts by the ringing of his phone and rolls his eyes upon recognizing the ringtone he assigned to Rachel. He digs the device out of his pocket and accepts the call. His heart sinks and he feels cold panic creep up in him when he hears Rachel crying, jerking upright in his seat.

“Danny?”

“Yes, it’s me. What’s the matter, what happened?”

“Oh, Danny… It’s about Gracie.”

“Is she okay?” Danny inhales sharply. “What happened?”

Steve looks at his friend with concern and leans closer towards him, listening in with a grounding hand on his shoulder.

“Grace went to a friend’s house after school and I just got a call from her mother. I don’t know what exactly happened but Grace fell down the stairs and she was unconscious for a minute or so. They took her to hospital in an ambulance. Stan and I are already on our way to Queen’s.”

“I’ll be there as fast as I can.” Danny already forces himself to stand up, even though he is bone-tired and his legs feel like rubber. “I’m on my way, I’m coming. Tell Gracie Danno loves her.”

“I will. Thank you, Danny. We’ll meet you there.”

They hang up and for a short moment, Danny just stands glued to the spot, his mind in a haze. Though he doesn’t know yet what exactly happened to his daughter, this is something he has been afraid of since Grace’s birth. He isn’t sure how things go from here, or how he’s even able to function, but he probably has to accredit most of it to Steve. Danny is not able to think straight as he stumbles forward and fumbles for his car keys with trembling fingers. He doesn’t have to speak, but Steve is there to help him out. He takes the keys from him and steers him towards the house. It’s all the initiation Danny needs and the men hurry inside, put on their shoes they’d left by the front door and activate the house alarm on their way out.

With Steve behind the wheel, they race off towards the hospital. Having the sirens on certainly helps them make it in record time. Steve pulls up at emergency parking with squealing tires and the two rush out. Danny barely manages putting one foot in front of the other as his brain delivers him scenarios he doesn’t even dream in nightmares. He’s barely keeping it together. He doesn’t even know where he is going other than through the corridors leading towards emergency admission and past countless treatment rooms. It’s a good thing Steve is with him, having had the mind to ask a nurse on their way in.

“Danny, over here,” Steve calls and gestures towards the door on his right, beckoning Danny over who is already down the hall.

Danny jogs back up and halts in front of the room Steve lead him to. At Steve’s nod to confirm it’s in fact the right one, Danny knocks once and barges inside.

Grace is reclined on a gurney and looks up when Danny bursts into the room. She’s very pale but smiles at her father sheepishly when they make eye contact. Danny immediately relaxes a notch and inhales deeply. He walks up to her more calmly, the worry still clear in his eyes. He shares a tight smile with Rachel, who is standing right at Grace’s side stroking her hair, and nods at Stan, who respectfully takes a few steps back to make room for Danny.

“Hey Dad, hi Uncle Steve,” Grace rasps and waves at Steve, who has decided to wait at the door, seemingly contemplating leaving but wanting to find out for himself how she is doing.

Danny carefully hugs her and kisses her forehead, looking her over and taking in the scrapes on one side of her face, a bruise already blossoming on her swelling cheekbone. Her left leg is elevated and there are ice packs on her knee and her ankle. She is also receiving fluids through an IV in her arm.

“Gracie, what are you doing, huh?”

“Sorry, Danno.”

“She’s fine,” Rachel says, relief evident in her voice. “She gave all of us a scare, though.”

“What happened?”

“I’ve been exercising a lot for the marathon we’ve got at school in three weeks. I really want to do well, so I practice almost every day. My friend and I went on a long run today and I forgot to bring my drink. It was super hot outside, and when we got back to her place, I felt really dizzy. We were just going inside and I guess I fainted. I didn’t want to go to the hospital but my friend’s mom insisted because I hit my head on the way down.”

Danny sighs and places another tender kiss on the top of her head.

“Did you hurt yourself, apart from what I can see?”

“It’s not as bad as it looks.” Grace shrugs and looks down at her hands, embarrassed to be the center of attention. “The doctor that saw me said that I probably won’t even have to stay overnight.”

“She is a lucky girl. It’s just a mild concussion, some contusions, a sprained knee, sprained ankle, and some very worried parents,” Rachel elaborates and gives Danny an encouraging smile, stroking Grace’s arm softly.

Danny feels himself calm down some more. His pulse is not going as fast as before and he can breathe a little easier.

“That’s good. That’s very good to hear. I’m glad it’s not worse.”

“Yeah, well, now I can’t exercise because I can’t step on my left leg properly,” Grace says dejectedly. “I have to stay off the leg for about a week and then I won’t have that much time to get in shape before the marathon.”

“Don’t get upset, Monkey. If you ask Super Seal here all nicely, I’m sure he’ll find time between work and driving me insane to help you get on track,” Danny suggests, winking at his partner and motioning for him to get closer.

Grace looks at Steve so hopefully that he has no other choice but to say yes. He feels oddly touched at the wide smile she gives him, despite clearly not feeling her best.

“We’ll set a date when you’re feeling better. We’ll get you in shape in no time,” Steve promises and leans forward to draw Grace in for an embrace, pressing a brief kiss to her temple. “I’m glad to hear you’ll be fine.”

“Thanks for checking up on me, and for taking care of Danno. I bet he was freaked out,” Grace surmises, knowing her father too well.

“Yeah, the things I do for him… It took me a long time to get him halfway fit for this island and somewhat placid. I’d hate to break in a new partner, so of course I drove him here. You’re welcome, kid. And Grace, you’re practically family, I just had to see for myself how you’re doing.”

“What are you even talking about? First off, I’m not adapted to anything. Certainly not this pineapple infested hellhole, and most definitely not to your crazy ways. And secondly, you were as freaked out as I was. Don’t try to deny it, I saw your aneurysm face when the truck blocked the exit and you had to drive around it.”

Stan clears his throat to interrupt the budding quarrel and speaks up, “Grace has to finish the infusion before she can be released, so we’ll all be here a little while. I could do with some coffee, how about you? I’ll pay, of course.”

“Sounds awesome, count us in,” Danny decides and claps Stan on the shoulder gratefully.

Rachel smiles at her husband, thankful for his idea, offering to help him carry the cups and wrapping an arm around his waist and leaning into him on their way out. With the two out of the room, Danny sits on the edge of the gurney, one foot up, and wraps an arm around Grace’s shoulder.

“Baby, you’ve got to stop scaring me like that. I can’t take it. I’m an old man, I don’t deal well anymore with such excitement.”

“Danno, you’re not even 40 yet,” Grace giggles, but nods. “I’m sorry for giving you a scare. I usually take better care of myself, but today I just forgot. By the time I remembered and went to get some water, it was too late. We were running for an hour, I think.”

“See, that’s why I don’t do sports. Crazy Army guy here keeps me up on my feet enough, anyway. You wouldn’t believe the day we had. It’s a miracle I mustered enough energy to get here, but hearing about your kid hurt must be enough fuel.”

“It’s the Navy, Danno,” Grace and Steve say in unison, smiling at each other.

“Yeah, whatever. Don’t stand around, Steven. Sit down.”

“Nah, I was just about to get going. I don’t want to intrude,” Steve replies and turns towards the door but is halted by Danny’s protests.

“Don’t be stupid.” Danny shakes his head and gestures for him to come closer. “Get a chair and sit down. As you said before, you’re practically family.”

“Yes, Uncle Steve, please stay.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely! Stanley is getting you a coffee that would go to waste,” Danny explains, then grins. “Also, you’re my ride, so you can’t leave yet.”

As Steve rolls his eyes but does what was asked of him, Grace begins to laugh so hard that tears spring to her eyes. Danny grins happily, the worry from before completely gone. Grace laughing is the best sound there is.

***


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First time Grace catches Danny having sex

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ‘Firsts’ written by EmptySky, betaed by Celeste6.
> 
> Chapter is probably not suited for minors.

**Chapter 15: First time Grace catches Danny having sex**

_ Danny: 38 years old _

_ Grace: 13 years old _

 

“What are you doing, sneaking out on me?” Danny asks, his voice rough with sleep, as he watches Amber put on the white dress shirt he threw aside the night before, buttoning it up with a soft smile.

“No, I just thought I’d make us some coffee.”

“You come, get back, I’ll go make the coffee.”

“I think I can manage, Jersey,” Amber announces and climbs up on the bed next to Danny, leaning in for a few kisses.

Danny sighs when she pulls back after a minute and stretches his limbs with a hearty yawn. He pulls back the warm blanket and gets out of bed himself.

“How about we go together?”

He snatches a t-shirt from his drawer and quickly pulls it over his head, then adjusts the waistband of the boxer shorts he wore during the night to keep it from pinching his hips. He follows Amber into the kitchen and grins as she rummages through his cupboards as if it is the most natural thing for her to do, despite last night being the first time he invited her to his place. She finds what she needs in no time, pours a liberal amount of ground coffee into a filter, fills up the water tank, and presses the button for the machine to start.

Danny watches Amber prepare the coffee and can’t help but notice how beautiful she is, especially with the early morning sun touching her hair. She leans up to grab sugar out of the cupboard, his shirt riding up and revealing the curve of her buttocks and her firm thighs. Danny takes two steps forward, wraps his arms around her from behind and brushes aside her hair to kiss her neck. Based on the content sigh she emits, Amber seems to enjoy his touch. She giggles as Danny starts to fumble with the buttons of the shirt, turning in his arms with a teasing smile and dark eyes. Placing her hands to his cheeks she draws him in for a chaste kiss. The kisses grow in intensity, bodies together in their need to get close, only separating when the need for air becomes too great.

“So glad we’re not taking it slow,” Danny chuckles, pulling the shirt open the rest of the way, trailing his fingertips over her stomach, pleased when she moves into his touch.

“Me too,” Amber whispers, tilting her head and biting her lip as Danny’s hands slide up her skin, palming her breasts. “Best idea we had, along with skipping dessert.”

Danny nods and brushes his thumbs over her nipples, eliciting a shaky breath in return. Their mouths crash together hard, both desperate for the physical contact. Somehow he loses his shirt to Amber’s deft hands which run up over his broad back. Danny lets his hands roam over her hips and up her chest and moans when she reaches into his boxers.

He moves down to kiss her neck, smiling when Amber responds and tilts her neck back to give him better access. His tongue moves over her soft skin, his teeth lightly grazing her collar bone. He feels her hands tousling his hair, pulling him closer to her, urging him on. He trails kisses down her chest, stopping at her breasts, before he looks back up at her, his eyes full of desire.

“Ready for round two?”

“You bet, Jersey,” she laughs huskily and slides her panties down her legs until they drop to the floor, stepping out of them and leaning back against the counter expectantly.

Though Danny hasn’t exactly been living as a celibate since his divorce, having taken home the occasional woman to spend the night with, the sight in front of him makes it hard for him to control himself. He wants her, in every way possible. Amber is a lucky find, there is no doubt. She is attractive, smart, great company, and she has elicited in him emotions he has not felt in a long time. But as much as he wants to take her right here and now, the urge so strong it’s a physical ache, he knows he can’t, not like this, reason winning over lust. He kisses her deeply before he pulls back.

“Don’t go anywhere, baby,” he tells her between kisses, before he hurries into the bedroom and takes a condom from the nightstand. He returns to Amber shortly afterwards, already ripping open the wrapping.

He pulls his boxers down just enough to free his pulsating erection and rolls the condom over it with one hand. He reaches for her left thigh, lifts it up and holds onto it, looking into Amber’s eyes as he closes the distance and eases his way inside. Amber moans in delight as he presses forward and wraps her leg around him tight. Her heel pushes into his back, encouraging him to go deeper. Danny does and presses his hips forward, reveling at the tightness surrounding him and seeing Amber’s eyelashes flutter in bliss.

“You’re beautiful,” Danny murmurs and braces himself on the counter Amber is leaning against, slowly beginning to move and feeling her hands on his chest.

He leans forward and nuzzles his nose against her neck, breathing in her scent and getting surprisingly turned on by the faint smell of pineapple. He kisses her neck gently and picks up a steady pace with his hips.

Amber runs her hands over Danny’s back and moans with every one of his thrusts. She pushes back against him, meeting him midway and increasing the intensity of each of his moves. They’re lost in each other, the other their sole focus, their bodies going in a synchronized rhythm. The only sound in the room is their hard breathing and their moans as they steadily approach orgasm and a light sheen of sweat appears on their skin. Danny seeks her mouth for a kiss, his thrusts becoming more frequent and desperate now. Amber grips Danny’s shoulders tightly as he buries his face in her neck once more, groaning as he feels his climax fast approaching. Amber is nearly there as well and turns her head to pant into his neck, her breath hot on his skin. She gasps when it hits her and she clenches around Danny tightly, pleasure rolling through her. Her eyes flutter open and she sees movement out of the corner of her eye - and then she shrieks, pushing at Danny’s chest, halting his movements.

“Oh my God, Danny!” She yells and points behind him.

Danny looks around confusedly for a split second and is just in time to see Grace stop dead in her tracks as the door falls shut behind her. Grace’s eyes are wide as she takes in the sight in front of her, overwhelmed and not knowing how to react.

“Oh, damn!”

Danny immediately pulls out of Amber and yanks his boxers back up as far as they will go. Amber shrugs Danny’s shirt back up over her shoulders and holds it closed with a fist tightly, hiding her face against Danny’s chest in embarrassment.

Grace looks like a deer caught in the headlights of a truck before she recovers partially and closes her eyes tightly, additionally covering them with her hands.

“I knocked! I’m sorry!”

“Go to your room, Grace,” Danny instructs more calmly than he feels with his heart racing in his chest and having yet to catch his breath. “Wait for me there, okay?”

Grace doesn’t need to be told twice and peeks through her fingers as not to bump against anything when she rushes past them, banging the door to her room shut behind her.

Danny groans and rubs his forehead to appease the building headache. He notices Amber look at him contritely and he gives her a wry smile.

“In case it wasn’t clear and you were wondering… that was my daughter, Grace. Who is now probably scarred for life. I don’t even think she ever saw my ex-wife and I having sex. Great. Just great.”

“It’s not quite how I thought our first meeting would be,” she says and laughs nervously, stifling herself with a hand in front of her mouth.

“No kidding,” Danny groans and scratches his head. “She’s usually with her mother at this time. I had no idea she was coming. Listen, Amber, I’m sorry. I enjoyed going out with you and last night was perfect, but I need to check up on my daughter. Would you mind leaving? I swear, I’ll call you, but I can’t… you know… not when she’s here.”

“Not at all, I understand. This is awkward, to say the least. But on the bright side, I can finally say that I’ve met your daughter.” Amber presses a quick kiss to his lips and strokes his cheek. “She’s a teenager, Danny. And if she’s anything like you, she’ll be fine.”

Danny chuckles and kisses her temple before he bends down and picks his discarded t-shirt and Amber’s panties off the floor. He hands her the slip and leads them to the bedroom, where Amber puts on her pants and collects her clothes from where she left them on their way to bed last night. Danny watches her exchange his dress shirt for her top and is promptly reminded that whereas she got to finish, he did not. He excuses himself into the bathroom to take care of his now aching erection and comes out a minute later, breathing hard.

“I could have helped you with that,” Amber twinkles as she adjusts her clothes and looks around for the high heels she wore the night before, finding them partially hidden under the bed.

Danny gives her a pointed stare before putting on a fresh t-shirt. “Yeah, not happening. I think we traumatized Grace enough and I’m still not sure how I’ll explain that to her mother.”

“Really, Jersey? I’m talking about jerking you off and you think about talking to your ex-wife? Nice.”

Danny looks flustered for a moment, not knowing what to say, something that happened too often today already and it’s not even 8 a.m. yet. Amber picks up her purse from beside the bed and gently places her hand on his chest.

“Relax, I was joking. Don’t worry about it, okay? Everything will be fine. Seriously Danny, give me a call once you find the time. Remember, I know where you live. When things have settled down, I’d love to meet your daughter. And maybe next time, when we are truly alone, we can pick up where we left off in the kitchen.”

Danny smiles and nods, “Sounds like a plan.”

He guides her to the door and kisses her goodbye, watching her get into her car and driving off. Small mercies they decided to meet in separate cars, Amber being more flexible before having to get to work later in the day. He closes the door with a sigh, wishing their otherwise perfect date would have ended differently. He walks back to his bedroom and gets fully dressed. He combs his hair back with his fingers and checks himself in the mirror to make sure he’s presentable. He would have preferred a shower, but he does not want Grace to wait any longer.

He hesitates a moment in front of Grace’s bedroom door and knocks, entering when she gives him permission to come in.

“Morning, Gracie,” he says and feels his face reddening when Grace quickly averts her eyes to the ground and blushes herself. He scratches his head, feeling embarrassed. “May I sit down next to you?”

Grace scoots closer to the headboard wordlessly and watches Danny sit down out of the corner of her eye.

“Not that I’m not happy to see you, but what are you doing here?”

“Mom had to leave early. Her plans changed, so she dropped me off. You’ve got to take me to school today,” Grace explains and focuses on an imaginary spot on the floor.

“You’ve got to tell me those things earlier.” Danny frowns and sighs.

Grace looks at him before quickly averting her face once more.

“I tried calling you last night. It kept going to voicemail.”

“Oh.”

“Danno? Who was she?”

“That was my friend Amber.”

“Is she your girlfriend?”

“Maybe. Probably,” Danny winces when Grace gives him a pointed stare, so similar to his own when he notices someone skirting around the issue. “Yes, she is.”

Grace nods and plays with the hem of her skirt nervously.

“Were you… you know?”

“Yes!” Danny says quickly, avoiding looking at her entirely. “Yeah, we were.”

Danny feels his face becoming bright red and is at a loss at what to say, when Grace nods and looks down again. He briefly remembers catching his parents on the couch when he was even younger than Grace is now, but he seems to have mostly repressed the memory. He cannot remember how they reacted, or how they went on from there. It does spark a glimmer of hope that Grace will take after him in that way, too. Though he still has the image of his mother on top of his father etched before his inner eye. He shudders, but focuses back on his daughter when she speaks up.

“Will she be here often?”

“I don’t know. She might be. What are you thinking, Monkey?”

Grace shrugs, but smiles sheepishly when Danny nudges her gently, prompting her to talk.

“I just… I don’t know. I like it when you and me do things together, just the two of us.”

Not having expected that answer, Danny hesitates before answering, “We’ll still do things together.”

“Maybe, but it will be different if your girlfriend is there. It won’t be the same. You won’t spend as much time with me.”

For a moment, Danny is stumped.

“What are you talking about? Grace, first off, our Wednesdays and our weekends are the most important things to me. You come before anything else. If you want, it’ll just be the two of us on those days. Secondly, Amber and I are still getting to know each other. We have gone out on a few dates. I’m talking about having dinner or meeting for a cup of coffee. So far, that’s it. She’s not moving in and we’re not getting married. But sweetie, I like spending time with her, and I’d like for you to meet her properly one day, so we can maybe do things together. Would that be okay?”

“If I have to…” Grace shrugs and frowns. “Still, it will be different.”

“Doesn’t necessarily have to be bad, though? If I remember correctly, you enjoyed being around Gabby. I wouldn’t introduce you to Amber if I had one single doubt that you might not get along. Grace, what’s this about?”

“I don’t know.”

“Yes, you do.”

“I don’t want you to get angry.”

Danny reaches for her chin and makes her look at him. “That’s not going to happen. Come on, tell me.”

“It’s just… I had Mom to myself before Stan came. I like Stan, he’s nice to me and he takes good care of us. But Mom and I don’t get to spend that much time together without him. They’re both really busy and Mom always wants him around when he has time. I don’t know how to say it. It has been just you and me, the two of us, for a long time. I liked having Gabby around, but I enjoyed having you for myself, too.”

“Thank you for being honest. I think I know what you mean. And so you know, I love it when you’re with me. There’s nothing better than that. I promise that having a girlfriend will not change that sometimes we need father-daughter time. Do you remember that even when I was with Gabby, I made a point to do fun stuff when it was just you and me? I love you more than anything else in the world, and you’ll always be my priority. In fact, I’ve passed up a relationship here or there out of consideration for you. Monkey, please don’t take this the wrong way, but you cannot compare the quality of time I spend with you to the time I spend with a girlfriend. It’s entirely different.”

“I know that,” Grace interrupts him and rolls her eyes.

“Humor me,” Danny says and looks at her intently. “You may not have noticed, but I haven’t really done relationships since your mother and I got divorced. She was lucky to find Stan, I mean that sincerely. It hasn’t been as easy for me. Sure, there was Gabby, but we both know how that turned out. Our breakup was hard for me and I know it hurt you as well. I never wanted that to happen, for you to get attached to someone and then have them leave. That - and some personal issues - kept me from dating. I’ve been single for the better part of eight years, which is a long time. Time spent with you makes me incredibly happy, but it doesn’t substitute for a partner. Also, I barely get to see you. If I’m lucky, I have you on eight days a month; ten if your mother is in a good mood and work doesn’t get in the way. It gets lonely here, sometimes.”

“I don’t want you to be unhappy,” Grace says dejectedly.

“I’m not,” Danny answers and puts his arm around her shoulders. “I’ve just reached a point in my life where I don’t want to be alone anymore. You’ve grown up so much, I think you can adjust to a new person in my daily routine. Amber is very nice. She reminds me of New Jersey, we have a lot of fun together and she keeps me company when I miss you.”

“How come you never mentioned her before?”

“Because I wanted to wait until I was sure Amber is staying and that we’re going steady. I thought that when the time was right, we could all go out for dinner, or to the beach. You know, get to know each other better. Today was not ideal and I’m very sorry for what happened earlier. I obviously didn’t expect you to come, or we would have… you know… in the bedroom, or probably not at all. I hope you can forget about what you saw. Please, all I ask is that you give her a chance.”

“I think I can do that.” Grace nods and turns to hug him. “I love you, Danno.”

Danny returns her hug with a smile. “I love you more. And I promise, I’ll never neglect you for someone else. There’ll be many one on one father-daughter moments, well, unless Uncle Steve barges in and wants to ruin my day.”

“Uncle Steve is cool, though.” Grace grins and checks her watch for the time. “I think we’ve got to get going or I’ll be late for school.”

They get up from the bed and Grace wraps an arm around her father, leaning against him comfortably as they make their way to his car.

“Don’t tell him you said that or he’ll never let me live it down. But speaking of not mentioning things, can I ask for a favor, Grace? Let’s not tell your mother you saw me… you know.”

“I won’t,” Grace promises and shudders. “It’s bad enough I had to see it. I don’t want to relive it.”

“Right…”

***


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First time Grace has her period

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ‘Firsts’ written by EmptySky, betaed by Celeste6

**Chapter 16: First time Grace has her period**

_ Danny: 38 years old _

_ Grace: 13 years old _

There is nothing more important in Danny’s life than his daughter. It has been this way from the second she was born. Nothing could ever change that, there is no doubt about it. If there is one thing Danny learned as a parent, it’s that he has never had such intense feelings towards another being before, nor felt such a deep love. Nothing matches the way he feels when he’s with his daughter. Danny loves Grace dearly, more than anything else in his life. Despite that, he has to admit that raising a teenager is difficult. No matter what Steve may say, he is a patient man and he likes a good challenge. However, dealing with Grace these days has him at the end of his tether. He misses the days where he could carry her on his shoulders and show her the world, because back then, he was a hero in her eyes.

He is aware of how much she has grown over the years. And not just physically. She is thirteen years old now, much taller, her body changing into that of a young woman. She behaves more maturely, in most situation anyway, and she’s more alert to what’s happening around her or to other people’s feelings and expectations. Grace is also beginning to show an interest in makeup and girly things Danny has no clue about - yet. He plans to be an involved father and definitely wants to stay on track with what his daughter finds interesting, even if it’s bound to give him nightmares. He inwardly hopes that she will stay away from boys for a little longer, not sure he’d be able to take her dating at this time.

Danny knows there are probably many things she’d rather do than spend every other weekend with him. He is very grateful she is still coming over without complaining, instead of following other interests or meeting her friends. The possibility of that happening in the near future is real, so Danny appreciates every moment the two of them spend together. He hopes she will continue to come to him willingly, even if it’s not on every scheduled weekend. He isn’t sure he’ll have the heart to drag her to his house against her will.

Their current situation is difficult enough as it is. Up until a few weeks ago, Danny alone used to be enough. Their visits at the zoo, the beach, going to the movies or out for dinner were a bonus, but never crucial for a successful weekend. These days, Grace is not as easily pleased as she was when she was little. She has become moody, snapping at him for no apparent reason. She breaks out in tears when he scolds her or just because, something she hasn’t done since she started school. Sometimes, nothing seems to be wrong and she is happily chattering like her life depends on it, and the next minute her mood changes suddenly. All those emotions can happen within the course of mere hours and are hard to predict in advance. It’s exhausting sometimes.

The next time Grace comes to stay the weekend, she seems rather quiet and almost shy. She barely speaks to him other than to reply to his questions and keeps to herself for the most part. She stays in her room most of the time, save for trips to the bathroom and the kitchen. Danny is unsure whether it’s typical teenager behavior or whether he should be worried. He even considers calling Rachel for advice when their second dinner is spent in complete silence. They’re halfway through dessert - Danny made her favorite, chocolate pudding, as a last attempt to calm the waves - when he notices Grace sneak distinct looks in his direction when she thinks he is not watching. He wonders what’s up when she wrings her hands nervously, but decides to wait for her to speak up. It does not take long.

“Dad?”

‘Here we go,’ Danny thinks and braces himself for whatever might come next, sets down his spoon and prompts her to speak, “Yes, Grace?”

“Can I talk to you about something?”

“You can talk to me about anything, okay? What’s up?”

“I want more space,” Grace says without looking at him.

“You want more space? What do you mean?”

“It means that I want more space. More room for my stuff.”

“Oh, that kind of space.” Danny feels incredibly relieved she doesn’t mean space away from him and thinks about her request. “That could be a problem. This is a house with two bedrooms and one of them is already yours. Save for looking for a new house, which I won’t do because I quite like this one, I don’t see how I’ll be able to pull that one off.”

“I know.” Grace rolls her eyes, at what Danny is not sure of. “My room is fine. What I meant was: I want more space in the bathroom. I shouldn’t have to keep my stuff in the bedroom. You’ve got four shelves and I only have one. It’s not fair.”

“That’s because up until today, I had more things than you. What? I’m not a slob, I take care of myself. But sure, you can have more space. I’ll clear a shelf for you later. Do you think one will be enough?”

“Yes. Thank you.” Grace smiles at him softly and goes back to devouring her dessert, showing more appetite now that she got the question off her chest.

“You’re welcome. Don’t hesitate to ask if you need anything else. Just talk to me, kid.”

Though dinner is slightly more talkative after that, Danny feels somewhat relieved when he takes Grace back to her mother the next day. He feels bad, but the weekend has been awkward to say the least. He thinks back to the days he was a teenager and he can’t remember his sisters ever showing such behavior. It’s disconcerting and makes him worry about the next weekend.

When he enters the bathroom, he notices a white box with nice floral ornaments on the shelf he cleared for Grace, surrounded by her care products. It’s big and barely fits, the lid of the box flush against the shelf above it. Danny looks at it for a moment. He fights the urge to peek inside and reminds himself that if Grace wanted him to know its contents, she would have told him. Then again, it’s his bathroom and it would be within his rights to find out. He grits his teeth but decides against snooping, for now.

Danny proceeds to take a shower, purposely facing the tiles as the hot water pelts down upon his tense muscles, trying not to look at the box. He ignores it entirely as he gets out, dries himself off, and gets dressed. He busies himself around the house, cleans up here and there, washes a load of laundry, and watches some TV. He makes it for a whole three hours before he ends up standing in front of the mysterious box once more. His curiosity gets the better of him and he shrugs, taking it out, lifting up the lid and peeking inside.

He isn’t sure what he expected, but what he sees is definitely not on the list of what he had imagined. Inside the box are various things, though all meant for one purpose only. Someone should have told him, Danny thinks and rubs his face nervously as he takes in the pack of tampons and pads, a grain pillow and some painkillers. He blinks a few times before he closes the lid and pushes the box back to where it was. He stands in front of the shelf, feeling a bit stunned.

He knows his baby has grown up, but she really is a grown up now. He leaves the bathroom breathing deeply as he tries to squash down the rising panic inside him. It’s a perfectly normal thing, Danny reminds himself, even if he has no idea how to deal with this. For obvious reasons, it was never something his sisters discussed with him. Rachel had let him know when it was time for him to leave her be, on the rare occasions he hadn’t gotten the memo himself from her behavior. Danny is utterly unprepared how to handle the situation. But then again, maybe he doesn’t have to. Grace is living with Rachel, who is an adult and had much more experience with it than he ever will. If Grace has questions, she would be the one person to talk to. And maybe putting the box in plain sight is her way of letting him know without actually having to tell him.

Danny doesn’t mention the box the next time he sees her. He does, however, take notice of her behavior and files it away in his head. Some things make sense in hindsight, and with his detective work never failing him before, he manages to detect a pattern. He knows when it’s time.

So by the time he picks up Grace for their weekend after the next, Danny is prepared. Without waiting for Grace to speak up as she gets into the car, he offers his unspoken support.

“Hey, Grace. Listen, you know I do my best for you to have a good time when you’re with me, but would you mind having a calm weekend for once? I don’t think I’ve been home except to sleep this week and I’d really like to stay inside and relax. Would that be okay?”

It’s not really a lie. The week has been rough on him, the workload ridiculous, and he can feel the subtle fatigue in his bones. Grace seems to accept his offer more than willingly and Danny is glad when his plan works out. Upon coming home, Grace focuses on her homework while Danny cleans up what fell by the wayside during the busy week. Working around her spot at the kitchen table, he can keep an eye on her. It’s after he sees her wince a few times and bending over ever so slightly, that Danny realizes she has cramps.

The moment homework and housework are finished, Danny ushers her towards the couch and insists on her staying there, claiming that students are way too stressed these days and need time to unwind. Danny orders pizza and ice cream, not feeling like cooking as he tells Grace. When the food comes, they decide on a movie neither has seen before, Danny having bought some new films to choose from. They get comfortable on the couch and stay there most of the afternoon, cuddled underneath some blankets.

Grace seems satisfied and even accepts Danny’s offer of making hot cocoa happily. Unlike the weekends before, the two have a long conversation, making up for all the weeks spent in silence. She talks about school, her friends, life at home, the things she has been up to lately. When she’s done, Danny is up to date on everything in Grace’s life. Well, almost everything, as they avoid one topic. Still, they enjoy their time together, time both seem to have much needed.

Just before Danny is about to start their second movie of the night, Grace seems to be in pain. She is pale, tense, and it’s obvious to Danny that it’s more than just a bit of discomfort she experienced all afternoon. Not wanting to see her suffer, but realizing that she is not likely to do anything about her situation with him there, Danny decides on a bold move and excuses himself. He accesses the box in the bathroom and pops an Aleve pill out of the blister, also getting the grain pillow and heating it up in the microwave. He walks back into the living room with a glass of water in his hand and the pillow tucked underneath his arm, wordlessly handing both over to her and pressing the pill into her palm.

“Here, hope you feel better soon,” Danny says after a beat, before turning and fumbling around with the DVD player.

Grace blushes, looking everywhere except at her father as she swallows the medicine, but relaxes when he does not push the issue. She places the grain pillow on her lower abdomen and sighs at the warmth it offers. Danny sits down next to her and smiles when she scoots closer, leaning against him and resting her head on his shoulder. Danny wraps an arm around her and brushes his hand through the long hair gently. His plan worked even better than he thought, Danny notes with satisfaction and places a soft kiss on her head.

“Love you, Danno.”

“Love you too, Monkey.”

And for the briefest of moments, it feels like she’ll always be his baby, no matter how old she is.

***


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First time Grace gets grounded

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ‘Firsts’ written by EmptySky, betaed by Celeste6.

**Chapter 17: First time Grace gets grounded**

 

_ Danny: 39 years old _

_ Grace: 14 years old _

Danny rubs his eyes in frustration when the words on the computer screen in front of him blur into one big, black mess. His concentration is at a low point and he has to reread what he wrote a few times just to be able to finish his sentence. He isn’t sure he has ever hated typing up a report as much as he does in this moment. There are only a few details missing before he is done and can go home, finally leaving work and his latest arduous case behind him.

Everyone else has already left the office, but he opted to stay. It’s how he works best, wanting to write things down while they are still fresh on his mind. Also, finishing his report on the same day means that he gets to come in the next day and start it without needing to concern himself with the case again, something most welcome. This particular case has been demanding and left him sleep-deprived - the exhaustion manifesting itself with a mean headache and feeling cold - and still wearing yesterday’s clothes. It is still early evening, but Danny is looking forward to going home, maybe picking up some takeout on the way, showering, and going straight to bed. And since even Steve felt knackered before going home, he gave them all the morning off, so Danny is looking at eight uninterrupted hours of sleep, minimum. It’s much needed after being awake for roughly thirty-five hours. The sooner he finishes, the better.

He is interrupted by his cell phone and answers absentmindedly as he squints at the screen, trying to make sense of what he just typed.

“Williams.”

“Hello, Danny, it’s Rachel. I was wondering if it’s possible for you to bring Grace home now, or if I can stop by wherever you are and pick her up myself.”

“Huh? What are you talking about?”

“I know, and I’m sorry. I got a surprise visit from someone I went to school with and she would love to meet Grace. I don’t have my diary with me now, but we can schedule another day later to make up for my interruption. Though I’d appreciate it if you cleared it with me first before you picked her up.”

Danny leans back in his chair, utterly confused.

“Rachel, what? It’s Thursday, I don’t have her today. I’m just now wrapping up the case that kept me from having Grace yesterday. I’ve been working on it non-stop. I haven’t even been home yet.”

Rachel is silent for her moment, during which only her breathing is heard.

“Grace told me she’d be with you today, to make up for the lost day.”

“No, she’s not.”

“I don’t understand. She texted me earlier and wrote that she was in your car,” Rachel starts again, sounding confused. “It was right after school ended.”

“Rach, I promise you, she is not with me. I did not pick her up from school either. I haven’t talked to her since I had to cancel yesterday, and she told me it was fine and that we’d find another day. I haven’t even checked with Steve for a day off to compensate working overtime. Besides, I know that I have to check with you before I can have her when it’s not my turn. I’m not lying to you. The case came up and demanded my whole attention. I’ve done nothing but follow leads for two days and sat on a stakeout all night, which should have just not happened. We made an arrest two hours ago and I’m just now finishing paperwork. I haven’t had time to focus on anything else.”

“Where is she, then?” Rachel asks, her voice strained with worry.

“Let’s stay calm and not flip out just yet,” Danny suggests and rubs his tired eyes again. “I’ll look for her and then bring her back, okay?”

“Where will you look? We don’t even know where she is. I tried calling her on her cell phone and she didn’t answer. That’s why I called you.”

“I’m a cop, remember? It’s what I do every day. I look for people and I find them. If I can track down cunning suspects that go off the grid, then I’m sure I can find my rebellious teenaged daughter. Call me if you hear from her first.”

“I will. Thank you, Danny.”

“Thank me later, I haven’t found her yet. It’s probably safe to assume she is not in trouble, though she will be once I have her. She deliberately lied to you in that text message. How will we handle it?”

“She will be grounded, that’s for sure. And since she involved you in her lie, I will support anything you think of.”

“That’s good to know, I’ll think of something. I better get going now, I’ll let you know once I’ve found her. Bye.”

Danny sighs and pockets his phone, saving the report on his computer before powering it down. His burning eyes scan his desk briefly to make sure everything is in order, reaches for his gun to attach it to his belt, and gets up. A short but sudden onset of dizziness causes him to stumble, his exhausted body signaling its desperate need for rest. He leans against the desk heavily until the world no longer feels like it’s about to tilt sideways. Danny rubs his face tiredly when he reminds himself that he cannot give in yet, though even sleeping in his office sounds appealing at this point.

He makes his way down the hallways and the stairs carefully, holding onto the handrail in case he feels dizzy again. On his way down, he tries calling Grace, but just like it did with Rachel, the phone goes straight to voicemail. He frowns and hangs up, not bothering to leave a message. If Grace is ducking their calls on purpose, there is no reason for him to vent his anger yet. He’d rather save it for when he sees her in person. But knowing her, despite the current situation, it’s more likely she turned off the phone and hasn’t noticed her parents’ calls. Danny briefly considers calling his team as reinforcement, not feeling one hundred percent up to the task, but he knows everyone is as tired as he is. They would help him anyways, Danny is sure of it, but at the end, it’s  _ his  _ daughter he’s looking for.

Danny gets into his car, starts the engine, and pulls out of his parking spot in front of headquarters, not really having an idea where he is going. Granted, them being on an island limits the possibilities of where she could be, but there are still too many places to check out. Danny decides to head West using the H1, as his daughter sometimes likes to spend her time near Keehi Lagoon Beach Park with her friends. It’s a wild guess and Danny can already see his time of rest and relaxation fleeting, especially with traffic as heavy as it is today. It has been difficult to get around the city all day, most major routes being clogged with Ala Moana Boulevard closed for an event.

“God damn it!” Danny curses, because he is almost certain he knows where Grace is now, remembering Grace wanting to see a band performing at Waikiki Beach, but both Rachel and Danny not giving permission because at fourteen, she is simply too young to go unaccompanied.

Danny takes the next exit, veers around sharply and gets back on the H1 in the direction he came from, taking Exit 23 and heading towards Kalakaua Avenue. Traffic is stop and go and he considers just leaving his car where it is and going the rest of the way on foot, but since he doesn’t know where exactly Grace is at, he wants to get as close as possible to the beach. He hesitates a moment when he reaches the barricade before flashing his badge to one of the helpers directing traffic and is immediately let through. Danny isn’t allowed to use his badge for personal matters, but he doesn’t expect there to be any consequences since he is technically looking for a missing child.

He drives the short distance towards the promenade, mindful of the many people in his way. He stops and gets out when he can’t go any further and shivers, rolling down the sleeves of his dress shirt even though it’s still warm from the sun. Danny makes his way through the huge crowd, many having come to see the different music performances, attractions, and food stands. He scans the crowd carefully, looking for her as well as for things she might find interesting, looking for clues on where to find her. It feels a bit like looking for a needle in the haystack, but Danny has the strong feeling that he is close. And sure enough, after nearly ten minutes, he spots her near the merch booth of the band she wanted to see.

Grace is wearing a tight shirt and very skimpy shorts, something Danny is sure Rachel would never allow her to leave the house in. She is surrounded by some of her friends in similar attire, enjoying a shave ice and laughing. Danny narrows his eyes as he feels his blood pressure begin to rise, and sends a quick text message to Rachel before he focuses back on his daughter. It doesn’t take long before they make eye contact.

Grace immediately freezes, her eyes widen and she swallows hard. She blushes and looks down to the ground, knowing she has been discovered. She exchanges a few words with her friends and hands her ice off to her best friend, reaching for her backpack and heading towards Danny without him needing to get her first. She halts in front of him and looks at him expectantly, her brown eyes wide with worry.

“Hi, Daddy.”

“Follow me,” he simply says in an unusually quiet voice despite fuming inside, gesturing towards the row of cars a few hundred feet further down, “Car’s over there, I’m taking you back to your mother.”

Danny turns around and starts walking at a brisk pace he didn’t even know he could uphold, the adrenaline doing wonders to his fatigue. He doesn’t have to look behind him to make sure Grace is following. He knows that she is doing as he told her to, not wanting to make her situation any worse. He unlocks the car and heads towards the driver’s side, looking at Grace sternly.

“What are you waiting for? Get in the car.”

Grace buckles herself in quickly and worries at her lip when Danny starts to drive and passes a fellow officer as he goes past the barricade, gripping the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles are turning white.

“Danno…”

“Be quiet! I do not want to hear one word from you or I might actually wreck the car! I’ve had a very long day and I needed to get home to sleep. Only I couldn’t do that, because I had to search for my missing daughter. For your information, your mother was worried sick!”

Danny notices Grace getting smaller in her seat, looking down at the backpack in her lap the whole ride and heeding his advice to not speak up. He focuses back on the road, which is not an easy task now that his headache has intensified with stress. He rubs his eyes every once in a while and yawns, shivering lightly. He is glad when he pulls up in front of Rachel’s house in one piece, turning off the engine and looking at his daughter for a moment.

“Geez, Grace!”

“Are you mad, Danno?”

“Yeah, I am. But most of all, I’m incredibly disappointed. What were you thinking? You’re always responsible and careful. I’ve always trusted you, but I don’t know how I’ll be able to do that in the future after the stunt you pulled today. I really thought you were smarter.”

“I’m sorry,” Grace says, getting upset.

“For what? For what you did today, or are you just sorry you got caught?”

“No! For all of today! I didn’t mean to worry anyone, or to keep you up,” Grace mumbles and looks down.

“You know, I actually believe that you’re sorry. That doesn’t change the fact you lied to your mother, and that you went behind our backs. We told you that you were not allowed to go to Waikiki Beach today, on many occasions, and you went anyways. What if something had happened during the event and we hadn’t known you were there? Did you think about that? I didn’t think so. Grace, I know you’re usually more responsible, but you really screwed up this time. You know that your mother and I don’t have the best relationship. It’s gotten better, yes, but it’s still difficult enough. You told her you were with me, when you were not. Do you realize what that could have done? She could have taken me to court for breaching our custody agreement by not clearing today with her first. I was lucky she took it in stride this time. And what if I actually cleared a date with Steve to make up for the lost day? Rachel could have denied me, since she thought we already made up for yesterday. You did not think this through and you could have done some real damage.”

“But I really wanted to go and see the shows,” Grace says meekly. “Everyone else was allowed to go and I didn’t want to be the only one at home.”

“So what if everyone else goes? Do you know how much actually happens during such events? Yeah, you’re not a baby anymore, but you’re not old enough to go on your own. And no, your friends do not count. I’m not out to make your life miserable just because. There is a reason for everything I do. You don’t have to understand it, and you certainly don’t have to like it. I am your father, and as far as that goes, I decide. Be assured that I always have your best interest in mind. I get that you’re a teenager now, and that you won’t always agree with my perception. Still, you need to listen to what your mother and I tell you.”

Danny looks out of the window and sees Rachel standing in the door, watching them from her spot up the driveway. He can see her wait impatiently and gets out of the car, having said almost everything he wanted to. Grace follows his example and clutches her backpack to her closely.

“Give me your phone, Grace.”

Grace frowns, not happy and about to speak up. It only takes one sharp glance from Danny to change her mind and she hands it over.

“You will get it back on Wednesday. If you want to call me before that day, you will have to use the landline or ask your mother to lend you her phone. For the next two times you’re with me, there is not going to be any TV and you can forget about bringing your laptop. If you need the internet for homework, you can use mine. I trust you enough not to go behind my back again, but know that I’m aware of how to check for the browser history. And for your information, that’s just my punishment. What your mother decides to do will be up to her. Alright?”

“Yes. I’m still sorry,” Grace apologizes, wiping a lone tear from her eyes.

Danny hugs her to his chest, strokes her back and makes her look up at him.

“I love you, Grace. Me being angry doesn’t change that. You and me, we’re okay. Don’t go behind our backs like that again, that’s all. I don’t like having to punish you, either.”

“I promise! I’ll never sneak out again!”

Danny hugs her again and smiles knowingly. It’s bound to happen again, eventually, but he knows that Grace has learned her lesson. He yawns and pulls back, giving her a soft shove towards the gate.

“I need to go home, Monkey. I’ll be there to pick you up from school next Wednesday, and I’ll talk to Rachel about the conditions of your next visit so we’re all on the same page. Now go, I think your mother waited long enough.”

“I love you, Danno,” Grace says and slowly makes her way past the gate, her head hanging low as she knows her mother will have a stern conversation with her, as well.

Danny waits until Grace has reached Rachel and nods at his ex-wife, lifting his hand in return to her greeting and turning around to get in his car. He still hasn’t finished the report at work, but it will have to wait until tomorrow. He has gotten a good head start and it won’t be long before it’s done, anyway. With his decision to leave work be, and having found his daughter, there is nothing keeping him from going home at last. There is a fast food place on the way to his house he will stop at. Danny is looking forward to a calm evening without any drama, but just to be sure, he turns off his cell phone. He has earned it.

***


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First time Danny is proud when Grace does the right thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ‘Firsts’ written by EmptySky, betaed by Celeste6.
> 
> Thanks to everyone who has read and commented so far.

**Chapter 18: First time Danny is proud when Grace does the right thing**

 

_ Danny: 40 years old _

_ Grace: 15 years old _

Danny has not been asleep for long when he is startled awake by the incessant ringing of his phone, and he blindly reaches for it on the nightstand. He squints at the alarm clock and groans when it’s barely midnight. He’d hate to be called out to a case right now, but he as he becomes more alert, he realizes it’s the ringtone he assigned to his daughter. He quickly flops onto his back and accepts the call, his voice rough with sleep.

“Grace, are you alright?”

“Uh, I don’t know,” Grace whispers, hushed voices around her and some music blaring in the background. “I’m supposed to have a sleepover with some of my friends at Keilani’s house, but I don’t think I should stay. She said her parents would be home, but they’re not, and Keilani’s older sister just invited over some boys. They’re smoking, and I think they brought alcohol, too. Nothing is the way it was supposed to be and I don’t like it. Can you please pick me up?”

“Yeah, I’ll be there in a bit,” Danny promises, wide awake now and already getting out of bed. “Give me a minute to get ready and then I’m on my way. Text me the address after we hang up. Do me a favor, pack your stuff and wait for me inside. If you feel bad or if there’s trouble, I want you to call me right away and to lock yourself in the bathroom until I get there. I’ll let you know when I’m outside.”

“Okay… Drive careful, okay? It’s not… I mean… No one did anything bad. I just have a bad feeling. It’s probably nothing. No reason for you to speed.”

“I’ll be fine, don’t worry. I’m glad you called,” Danny encourages her and quickly pulls a shirt over his head, opting to pull a pair of sweatpants over the boxershorts he wore to bed and slipping on comfortable shoes, combing his hair until it’s no longer tousled from sleep. “I’ll see you in a bit.”

“Thanks, Danno.”

Danny leaves the house as it is, not wanting to lose any time by making his bed. Like him, Grace has a keen sense of perception. He trusts her estimation that it’s not very urgent, so he skips turning on the lights and siren. He doesn’t want to leave her waiting any longer than necessary, so once he enters the address she gave him into the GPS and he knows the directions, his foot remains on the gas pedal during the entire ride. It being Friday night, or technically early Saturday morning now, means that there is some light traffic, but he makes it to the house in Mānoa in under fifteen minutes. Not even half a minute later, Grace followed by two of her friends, walk towards him at a brisk pace. He can see her wiping away some tears and jumps out of the car, hurrying towards them.

“What happened?” He asks, his heart beating in his chest as he checks her over, glancing at her friends and back at the house in worry. “Are you okay? Do I have to arrest anyone, what’s happening?”

“I’m fine,” Grace says and wipes at her face again, leaning against Danny briefly and not minding that her friends are there. “It’s stupid. Keilani was mad at us for leaving and said some mean things. She didn’t want us to spoil the fun, but I didn’t want to stay. Neither did Jess and Madison.”

Danny gives her friends a small smile and absentmindedly brushes his hand over Grace’s head as he guides them further away from the house and towards his car.

“When are your parents getting here to pick you up?”

The girls fidget, and the smaller one with the freckles looks up at him a little nervously.

“You haven’t called them yet, have you?”

Grace shrugs and explains, “I thought that maybe they could come with me to your place? Madison’s parents are on Maui for the weekend since she was supposed to stay with Keilani, and we didn’t want to wake Jess’s parents.”

Danny gives her a pointed stare. “Yet you had no problem waking me, huh? Grace, relax, it’s fine. I’m glad you called, in fact I insist you wake me up when you’re in trouble or unsure of what to do. I’m not sure your plan works, though. I’ve got to drive you home to your mother, and I can drop off Jess on the way home. Not sure what to do about Madison… Maybe you can stay with Grace?”

“Mom and Stan aren’t home,” Grace is undeterred. “They’re at a fancy party on the North Shore. It’s also why I called you for help. They are too far away, and I think they wanted to stay overnight. Please, Danno.”

Danny sighs and shrugs, taking the bags from the girls to stow them away in the trunk of his car. “Alright, you’re all coming home with me. No, don’t get overexcited yet. I want you all to write your parents messages so they know what’s going on. And I get that this is your chance to have a nice sleepover together, but please, keep it down. I’m an old man and need my sleep. You can do whatever, except loud music or TV or giggling. I don’t know how Keilani isn’t deaf already, I can hear the music from over here. We’re not doing that at home. Understood?”

“Yes, Danno,” three voice echo and Danny blinks in surprise before chuckling.

“Would you believe that?” he mutters more to himself and holds the door open for Grace’s friends to climb into the backseat. He puts the seat back to its original position and focuses on his daughter when she stands by the trunk looking hesitant and slightly nervous.

“Now would be the time to get in, or did you forget anything inside?”

“No, I’ve got everything in the car,” Grace says and frowns, “Are you mad at me?”

“Mad at you? Nope. I guess it would have been nice to have some time to prepare myself for the impending teenager invasion, but I can deal with this.”

“I mean because of how the sleepover ended.”

“Well, did you know the parents would be gone?” Danny asks patiently.

“No!”

“What about the boys, did you know they’d come? Or that they’d bring alcohol?”

“No, I promise I did not,” Grace answers decidedly and shakes her head.

“Then no, I’m not mad. In fact, the opposite is the case. I know it wasn’t easy for you to leave, especially with your friend pressuring you and being mean. You made the right decision anyway. Other girls your age would have probably jumped at the chance to be around boys without their parents knowing, or even drinking without being caught. Thanks for being honest and letting me know. I’m very proud of you, Grace.”

Grace smiles widely and hugs Danny for a second, then climbs into the car and closes the door behind her, chattering with her friends excitedly. Danny wonders if he made the right choice by letting them stay the night at his house, not sure if he can handle that much estrogen around him, but it’s too late to change his mind now. That it’s just for one night is a comforting thought, and since the girls just proved they’re acting responsibly, he doesn’t have to worry. The last sleepover he remembers was nine years ago, when he was still married to Rachel, and there had been a lot of hectic and crying and a sleepless night for him. Now, Grace’s guests are fifteen years old and can get along without him having to do much. Well, not long before they’re home and he can return to his bed. Piece of cake...

“Danno? We haven’t eaten yet. Can we stop and get some takeout? And ice cream, can we get some ice cream?”

***


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First time Grace goes on a date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ‘Firsts’ written by EmptySky, betaed by Celeste6.

** Chapter 19: Grace’s first date**

 

_ Danny: 40 years old _

_ Grace: 15 years old _

“Relax, will you?”

“Relax, how could I possibly relax? This is a nightmare!”

“Don’t you think you’re slightly exaggerating, Danny?”

“Excuse me, what the hell is wrong with you? How can you be so calm? I’m telling you, it was a bad idea to begin with. Tonight should have never happened!”

Danny looks at his watch for the umpteenth time in less than a minute. His body is so tense that the muscles in his arms and legs have begun to cramp. His knee bounces up and down nervously. It should have been a nice evening, with Steve keeping Danny company while they watched a movie and enjoyed a couple of beers and some treats. Instead, their time together has become a real trial of patience. The movie is still running, but its plot has gone past Danny entirely, and Steve hasn’t been able to pay much attention either because Danny keeps distracting him.

“Calm down, it’s not  _ that _ bad,” Steve jibes, smirking at the dirty look Danny is throwing his way. “You weren’t that nervous when we diffused the bomb downtown. Or that time when we were trapped in the exploded building. Remember those moments? I think those were worse, don’t you agree?”

Danny rolls his eyes, but ignores him otherwise, checking his watch again and groaning to see that not even a minute has gone by since he checked the last time.

“Hey, partner, come on.” Steve scoots closer and leans his knee against Danny’s, putting his hand on Danny’s thigh and kneading it gently. “It’ll be fine. Seriously, relax, have another beer. You’re not the first parent to go through this and up until now, everyone has survived.”

“I knew this day would come,” Danny says gloomily and takes another deep swallow from his beer bottle, Steve’s attempts to calm him down clearly not working. “I should have locked her away. I wanted to, you know? I considered sending her to an all-girls convent school when she was five, but Rachel wouldn’t let me. I’m telling you, that woman has cost me nerves… She made this possible and only let me know about it when this was a done deal. Now I have to suffer, while she has a nice time with Stanley.”

“Okay, maybe you should hold off the beer,” Steve suggests. “Your mind is clearly addled.”

“I think I might have a heart attack. Just look what they’ve done! I’m forty. I’m too young to have a heart attack. My left side is going numb, maybe it’s a stroke.”

It’s Steve’s turn to roll his eyes, and he gently takes the beer from Danny’s hand, setting it down on the side table before lightly touching Danny’s arm.

“Grace is a good girl. You don’t have to worry.”

“I know that she’s a good girl. It’s that little weasel I don’t trust. He didn’t even look me in the eye when he picked her up. She is so smart, very intelligent, beautiful, she has a great character and a good sense of humor, and she does those cute little things with her nose when she’s deep in thought. I know what I would have done with a girl like her, back when I was his age.”

“Not all guys are like that. I consider her my niece. Do you think I’d let her go out with him if I had any doubt he was alright? And I know that you believe he’s a good kid, or you wouldn’t have allowed it. Danny, you raised her well. She’s your daughter, and in some ways, she’s very much like you. She has good judgement, she knows which boys to befriend and which to avoid. She wouldn’t do anything irresponsible or anything you’d disapprove of.”

“Yet, here we are and she went on a date.”

Steve sighs and leans back into the couch, giving up his futile attempts for now. He won’t admit it - and to keep Danny from losing his mind entirely he knows he has to hide it - but deep down, he is just as nervous as his friend. He tries to focus back on the movie and takes a deep swallow of beer himself. He has been with Danny for almost two hours, which turned out to be the longest two hours of his life. And the evening isn’t even over yet.

Danny huffs in frustration and crosses his arms in front of his chest, looking at the TV, though he isn’t able to focus on anything. He alternates between looking at his watch and checking his phone for potential text messages from his daughter, and finds that both actions are not satisfying or doing anything to quench his worry. To see Steve check his watch in what the man believes to be a subtle move every other minute, only makes Danny grit his teeth because his worry feels vindicated.

He braces himself against the couch every time he hears a car approaching, ready to jump up at any given moment. They all pass by his house, not one stopping in front, leaving Danny more anxious and disappointed each time it happens. It takes another hour, with mere minutes to spare before it’s 10 p.m., that a car stops right in front of the house.

Danny and Steve practically fly from the couch, colliding in their haste to sprint to the windows. They stumble forward before each taking up a spot behind the glass, trying to spy through the blinds without being seen. Out there, Grace and the boy who has asked her out on her first date ever are standing in front of the boy’s car. They’re holding hands, both smiling at each other as they talk. Danny curses when he kisses Grace on the mouth and the two hug. Judging from the worried glances he shoots towards the house, the boy has discovered they’re being watched.

“That little bugger knows we’re here!”

“It’s probably for the best. Maybe that way he’ll keep his hands to himself,” Steve muses and shrugs. “Not sure what that says about our skills, though. You know, us working in a special taskforce and subtlety.”

“Who cares right now? God, it’s like he has glue on his hands, not letting her go. How long can it possibly take to say goodbye?” Danny grumbles moodily as he watches them, his mood only brightening when he gets inside the car and Grace waves as he drives off. “Oh, here she comes!”

The men race to the couch, this time minding the other and avoiding a collision. They reach their seats just in time, crossing their legs and resting their head on their knuckles while trying to look nonchalant. Steve has the presence of mind to turn the TV back on, at least trying to make it look like they enjoyed themselves instead of staring at the black screen since their movie ended. They focus on Grace as she comes in and closes the door behind her with a dreamy facial expression. She smiles happily, seeming even more beautiful that way in her summer dress and the light make-up she put on for the special occasion.

“Hey Monkey, did you have fun?” Danny dares to ask.

“It was nice,” Grace answers with a smile, then looks down bashfully. “We went out for food and snacks, he invited me and paid for it. Then we went bowling. I liked it. I think he let me win on purpose even though he said he didn’t, but it was still a lot of fun. How about you two, did you have a nice evening?”

“Yeah!”

“Sure!”

Both men answer at the same time, both a bit too rushed to appear believable, but Grace doesn’t seem to notice.

“That’s good. Thank you for keeping Danno company, Uncle Steve. I wouldn’t have wanted him to be alone, since it’s supposed to be our weekend together. Thanks for letting me go anyways, Danno.”

Danny mumbles something unintelligible and shrugs, forcing himself to a friendly smile.

“Alright, so I’ll be in my room to change. I promised Mom I’d call her once I was home, so I don’t know how long it’ll take me. Uncle Steve, if you’re leaving before I come back: good night and get home safe.”

Grace walks over to the men and hugs Steve briefly. She then takes a step to the side and halts in front of her father. She smiles at him widely, bends over and hugs him tightly, kissing him on the cheek.

“Thanks for letting me go out. And thanks for not shooting him out there. I know it wasn’t easy for you. I love you, Dad.”

She turns and disappears down the hallway, faint excited chattering coming from her room not even a minute later.

Steve reaches for the beer he placed on the side table earlier and hands one bottle back to Danny, holding his own bottle out for Danny to clink against. They share a meaningful look and take a sip.

“Great kid.”

“She is.” Steve nods and leans back against the couch cushions. “So, we survived that crisis. I think we handled it pretty well, don’t you think?”

“Totally. You heard her, we may have scared the crap out of the kid since he did not even dare walk her to the door, but there was not a single bullet fired today,” Danny says with satisfaction. “Today was a good start, though I do not want to think about the dates that will follow.”

“I hear you. And whatever happens, I’ll be right here with you for the next time she’s going out. I hope she’s considerate and waits… let’s say a couple of weeks.”

“Yeah. Or maybe a few months. Months would be good.”

***


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First time Danny feels inferior and Grace makes it better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Firsts' written by EmptySky, betaed by Celeste 6.

**Chapter 20: First** **time Danny feels inferior and Grace makes it better**

 

_ Danny: 41 years old _

_ Grace: 16 years old _

 

The first thing Danny sees as he pulls into the driveway is the brand new shiny car with the gigantic pink bow on the hood. Any fear he might have had concerning not being able to compete with whatever Rachel and Stan gave his daughter for her 16th birthday the day before has just skyrocketed. He expected big presents, gifts well out of his financial range, but he had not counted on them buying a car. He doesn’t know why he thought he might be consulted first, or that he might have a say in it. Still, to be asked whether he was okay with his daughter being given the chance to operate heavy machinery whenever she felt like it, or even just a simple heads up, would have been nice.

Grace spent her birthday celebrating with her friends at her mother’s house. Danny hasn’t seen her because of her plans and an abduction case at work, but he gets Grace for the entire weekend, starting this Friday. He is looking forward to seeing her, and has their whole time together planned out, but his anticipation is taken down a notch, stunned at the enormous gift and already feeling inferior. He doesn’t have much time to delve into those feelings, as Rachel walks up to the door and lets him in.  

“Hello, Daniel! Grace is just finishing packing her things upstairs. She shouldn’t take long. Would you care for some tea or coffee while you wait?”

“No, thanks. Although I wouldn’t say no to some water if you could spare me a glass…?” Danny asks as he wipes some droplets of sweat off his forehead and follows Rachel into the kitchen.

She pours him a glass of water straight from a bottle in the refrigerator, which Danny accepts gratefully. He takes a sip, glad for the cold beverage on this overly warm day. A short moment later, he sees movement out of the corner of his eyes as Grace comes running into the kitchen with the widest grin. Danny just manages to set the glass aside on the nearby counter to catch her as she flings her arms around his neck.

“Happy belated birthday, Grace,” he tells her as he hugs her close and kisses the side of her head.

“Thank you! You wished me a happy birthday yesterday though, Danno,” she reminds him and leans into his side comfortably.

“Yeah, but not in person. That doesn’t count. Sorry I couldn’t be there.”

“Oh, it’s fine. We’ve got all weekend.”

“That we do. Still, I wish I could have been there. It’s just that with Steve gone to do his reserve training, I’m in charge and the day just wouldn’t seem to end. I did let the governor know I was not impressed about not getting to see you, though, so don’t be surprised if you receive some sort of amends package within the next few days.”

“You called the governor of Hawaii and complained to her about missing my birthday?”

“No, I told her after she made me come to her office to talk about a case. What? I didn’t yell at her or anything, I just wanted her to be aware of what she was asking of me. That was about an hour into our meeting, by the way. I don’t know how Steve doesn’t flip out every time they talk. She’s an even bigger control freak than he is. Thinking of it, maybe that’s why they get along.”

Rachel hides a smile at the familiar ranting and turns to Grace.

“Are you ready to go, sweetheart, or did you need something?”

“I’m just about done packing. I just wanted to say ‘hi’ to Dad. Let me get my bag,” she explains and races back up the stairs, disappearing down the hallway to her room.

Danny and Rachel watch her leave and Danny sighs.

“Sixteen years old already. Where does time go? I remember when I held her in my arms for the first time, and the day she took her first steps. Now she’s almost an adult. Can you believe it?”

“Time flies by too fast,” Rachel nods and leans against the counter, her arm brushing against Danny’s lightly. Neither moves away.

“She turned out great. We did something right, there. I couldn’t be more proud of her.”

“I’m so glad Grace came out of the divorce unscathed, as messed up as we were at that point. I regret a lot of things, but I agree: something good did come out of our relationship.”

“We did a good job raising her. Thank you, Rach.”

Rachel and Danny share a smile and embrace the other for a brief hug, past animosities put aside for a while. The moment is fleeting and over within seconds. They separate and go back to waiting in the kitchen. It’s not an uncomfortable silence that follows, as Danny finishes his water. Grace comes down the stairs noisily, her bag banging against the banister ever so often, causing Rachel to sigh. Danny grins, secretly not minding if Grace puts some dents into their fancy house, but refrains from saying anything that might spark an argument, including the latest nuisance in the driveway. Not today, and not when they seemingly made some more progress. They head into the foyer where Danny takes Grace’s bag.

“Alright, I’ll go ahead and put this into the trunk. Bye Rachel, thanks for the drink. I’ll have Grace home Sunday night. I’ll text you the time.”

“That’s fine, and you’re welcome. Have a great weekend, you two.”

Danny heads for his car while Grace says goodbye to her mother. He just finished fastening his seatbelt by the time Grace arrives and gets in herself, seemingly eager for their time together to start.

“So, how was your birthday?”

“It was really awesome! I had a lot of fun. Mom picked me up from school and…” Grace proceeds to tell him all about her day and the gifts she received, chattering away as he drives. The mood is light until Grace mentions one special present. “Did you see what Mom and Stan got me? That was the biggest surprise!”

Danny tries to hide his discomfort by forcing a smile on his face, not wanting Grace to know just how much her present stings. “Yeah, I saw. I bet you were surprised. It’s a good brand. Once you’re able to drive you’ll be very safe in it.”

“I need to look into that, getting my driver’s license,” she ponders, then frowns when she takes notice of where they’re going. “Hey, this is not the way to your place! Are we going to Uncle Steve’s? I thought he was gone till next week?”

“Yes, we are. And he is. This is part of my present for you,” he smiles before muttering under his breath, so low that Grace cannot hear, “Even if it can’t compete with a damn car.”

“Does he know we’re coming over without him there?”

“Don’t worry about it. Just relax and sit tight for the ride. We’re almost there, anyway.”

Grace gives him a long, pointed stare, but shrugs and leans back. She smiles at Danny’s almost boyish grin and takes turns between checking her phone for messages and looking out of the window. They pull into Steve’s driveway a few minutes later. Danny hurries out of the car to open the door for Grace and he helps her get out, smiling when she blushes. He instructs her to leave the overnight bag in the trunk and they walk towards Steve’s house. Danny enters the code to disable the house alarm without needing to look, knowing the code inside out.

“Are you sure Uncle Steve is okay with this? Did you ask him?”

“What’s with the questions?” Danny rolls his eyes in mocked exasperation. “Of course, I asked him first. Who knows what that maniac does to secure his house when he has to leave for more than just a few hours? I didn’t want to risk walking into some sort of death trap. It’s not him you should worry about - I’ve got to work with that oaf every day! But to answer your question to your satisfaction: I asked, he said sure and he wishes you a super day. Now get inside and do me a favor: wait here by the door for me, alright? I need a minute to get something done and then I’ll come and get you.”

“Okay,” Grace nods and watches her father leave through the backdoor to the lanai. She remains where he left her and looks around the living room, trying to find some sort of clue that would give away why they were here and not at Danny’s house. Nothing looks different, everything is the way it usually is. Her gaze is drawn to the beach when a soft, but steadily brightening orange glow captures her attention. There are single flames, licking up the sky, going higher and higher before finally culminating in a big fire. Grace is startled and considers running out to check up on her father, alert him if he hasn’t seen it yet, but he is already at the backdoor to collect her. He is looking at her closely, seemingly nervous, as if to gage her reaction.

“It’s okay, come on out.” He motions for her to come closer, and she does.

She stops dead in her tracks out on the wooden lanai a moment later, truly in awe. She turns to look at Danny incredulously, not sure she believes what she sees. She takes in the sun setting over the ocean, blending in with the bonfire burning beautifully against the dusk, and few small chippings of burning wood flying through the air, the soft crinkling sound of the flames burning the neatly arranged logs, and the blanket a few feet away spread over the sand, together with the basket full of goods she knows she will enjoy. She looks at Danny with wide eyes.

“I’m not sure you remember, but -”

“We used to do that in New Jersey!” Grace interrupts him, excitement in her voice.

“Yes,” Danny smiles relieved. “We usually went out somewhere for your birthday, and this one time, I think you turned five, we went to Atlantic City as family vacation.”

“I remember that. Grandma, Grandpa, and Uncle Matt came along, too. We went to the shore after dinner and there was a huge bonfire. I don’t remember too much from that trip, but I know that I thought I’d never seen anything so pretty.”

“That’s right. You loved it so much that you wouldn’t let us go back to the hotel until the fire went out. You were so tired afterwards that you fell asleep in my arms. I had to carry you the rest of the way. You wanted a bonfire for the next few birthdays, but it didn’t happen anymore after that first time.” Danny remembers his subsequent divorce and falls silent.

“You made me a bonfire.” Grace wraps her arms around Danny’s neck and hugs him tightly, beaming widely and feeling utterly content.

They head down towards the sand and sit down on the blanket. Grace draws the basket closer and unpacks dish after dish. Just like she suspected, it’s full of her favorite food and she recognizes some of the dishes as something Steve must have helped prepare before he left, like her favorite marinated grilled chicken. Danny and Grace eat together, enjoying the comfortable warmth of the fire and relaxing. They watch the soothing ocean and, when it gets darker the stars, all the while sharing stories from Grace’s childhood and memories they made together.

“Thank you for this perfect evening!”

“You’re welcome. I know it’s not much of a present, but I hope you liked it anyways.” Danny says as the fire is slowly dying down and they clean up their sitting spot, gathering the dishes to put into the basket for transportation and folding the blanket.

“Are you joking?” Grace asks and for a second Danny feels very small. “This was - by far - the best birthday gift I ever got.”

Danny scoffs, not believing her, but Grace shakes her head.

“I mean it, Dad. Sure, the car is nice too, but anyone could have gotten me that. Well, you know what I mean. I like that you put thought into your gifts for me. They always mean something to both of us. I prefer those gifts over those that only cost money and take little effort anyways. You can’t buy that with money.”

Touched, Danny wordlessly pulls Grace closer and wraps her in a tight embrace. Her head rests against his shoulder, his chin on top of her head, as they watch the last rays of sunshine slowly disappear beyond the ocean.

“Maybe you can teach me how to drive, though?”

Danny smiles.

“I can do that.”

***


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First time Grace talks about college

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ‘Firsts’ written by EmptySky, betaed by Celeste6.

**Chapter 21: First time Grace talks about college**

 

_ Danny: 42 years old _

_ Grace: 17 years old _

 

A clear sign that Danny has been staring at the numbers in front of him for too long is that they become blurred. He pinches the bridge of his nose and squints his eyes before widening them on purpose to clear the haze. Danny leans further over the tech table, careful not to touch anything that might make the listing on the screen disappear. Standing next to him is Steve, who eyes the same documents, only on a screen by the wall. It’s unnerving to have to go through the murder victim’s bank account statements in order to find out where all the money the not quite innocent accountant embezzled went, trying to find a clue to his murderer. It’s not an easy task, checking the countless transactions. Both men are fed up but need to keep looking, despite having been at it for hours. Chin has been on the phone for most of the time, or out with Kono to question possible witnesses.

“You done?” Danny asks and switches to yet another account statement at hearing Steve’s soft grunt of affirmation, rubbing his tired eyes.

Danny looks up when Steve suddenly taps on his back. He’s momentarily confused, skimming over the figures thinking that Steve finally spotted something he hasn’t seen yet, but then he notices Steve pointing out something behind his back. He straightens and turns around in time to see Grace enter through the glass doors.

“Hello, Grace,” Steve greets her with a hug.

“Hey, Uncle Steve,” Grace returns the hug with one arm and clutches onto her purse tightly at the same time. She seems distracted by something and lets go of him quickly, turning towards her father’s direction. “Danno, do you have a minute? I’ve got to talk to you.”

“Sure… What’s the matter?” Danny asks, frowning.

“Can we talk in your office?”

Danny shares a brief look with Steve, who has his arms crossed in front of his chest while trying to downplay his tension by looking easy going and neutral. Something is going on, though neither knows what exactly.

“Okay. Let’s take a break. We’ve been staring at those documents for too long anyway,” Danny suggests and moves forward at Steve’s nod.

He takes Grace by the arm gently and leads her towards his office. He worries when Grace barely reacts to Chin’s friendly wave, too busy playing nervously with the hem of her cardigan. Danny closes the door behind them and leads her to the couch, sitting down next to her. It doesn’t help settling the mood - if anything, Grace seems even more nervous now. Her tension is nearly palpable as he watches her suck her lower lip inside her mouth and clutch her purse even closer. He waits a moment but speaks up when Grace remains silent.

“Are you going to tell me what’s going on, or should I guess, or what? Are you okay?”

Grace smiles wryly and takes a deep breath. She shifts slightly until she’s turned facing him. Danny adjusts his position and looks her over attentively, reaching out and gently touching her knee as silent support.

“You can tell me, whatever it is,” he adds.

“Alright. I want to tell you something, and I want you to hear me out, okay? Here we go. Dad, I love you very much. You’re the best Dad I could have wished for and I’m so proud I can tell people that you’re my father. I don’t know if I’ve told you that enough.”

Grace realizes that the beginning of her talk only makes Danny more nervous, not knowing what to expect, so she quickly resumes talking.

“This probably sounds like something extremely horrible is about to follow, doesn’t it? Relax, it’s not that bad. At least I don’t think so. I’m not pregnant or anything…”

“Just tell me,” Danny sighs a breath of relief.

“I’m not sure how much you and Mom talk these days, but we’ve had some arguments lately. She thinks I’m not taking school as seriously as I should and that I’m neglecting my education because I keep avoiding talking about college. Mom and Stan both talked to me about their jobs and gave recommendations, and it felt a lot like pressure to me. We fought a lot because I wouldn’t talk about it. There is something I didn’t tell anyone, though. And I hope you’re not mad at me. But I wanted to do this by myself. And for myself. Without anyone’s help, without anyone trying to meddle with it or attempting to change my mind. The truth is that I did apply for college. Different ones, even.”

Danny doesn’t speak, just looks at her. He has calmed down and encourages her to go on, though judging from the faint smile on his lips he knows what she is trying to tell him. She opens her purse and pulls out a big envelope.

“I did it, Dad. I’m going to college!”

“Congratulations, Grace!” Danny leans forward hugs her tightly, his chin resting on her head for the moment. “That’s great news! Your mother did ask me to talk to you about college, but I figured you’d talk about it when you were ready, and that we still had time even if you took too long. I didn’t think you’d already applied to colleges yet, though. So…? Don’t keep me in suspense!”

Grace gives him an odd smile as she looks straight in his face, gaging his reaction.

“I was accepted at Penn State and I’ll study Forensic Science.”

Danny’s eyes dart to the envelope and quickly back to Grace. When he realizes she is telling the truth, he holds his breath and takes the acceptance letter she’s holding out to him. He skims it over quickly before looking back at her, not knowing what to say.

“Dad, I’ve thought about this for a long time. Choosing a profession is not something you do lightly, especially since I’ll probably be working until I’m sixty-something. If I have to work that long, I figured I better be very certain it’s what I want to do. Work plays a big role in life, and I know that my decision now determines what I’m going to do with mine. I’ve always looked up to you, you know? You chose a job you love and that fulfills and satisfies you. It’s important work, and you do what you do with your whole heart. It probably wasn’t always easy for you, but you stuck to it in order to help others. I want to honor you somehow, and this is a good way to do that.”

“Monkey…”

“No, listen. I have to do something that makes sense, that actually helps people. I can’t do something that only focuses on making as much profit as possible in a short period of time, or that just benefits myself. I don’t mind Mom’s or Stan’s jobs, I guess their jobs are important too, but they’re not for me. I’m not like that. I want to do something that makes a difference. I don’t have the guts to put on the uniform and be like you. And I know you wouldn’t want me to, since it is kind of dangerous. So I thought about what I’m good at, and what I enjoy doing. I sat down and made a list. I thought about my options and I really do think this is the best decision.”

“Are you certain that’s what you want?” Danny is in awe, not sure what to say, overwhelmed.

“One hundred percent. It is what I want. You do your job every day, and indirectly make my environment safer. Studying Forensic Sciences will allow me to repay you for that, and I hope I’ll do a halfway decent job. I’ll get to support your work and your ideals from another side. I could help out when you need facts to back up what you figured out, or push you forward when you’re stuck. Though I know I most likely wouldn’t get to analyze things you brought in, to avoid a conflict of interest in court. But this is it.”

Danny draws her close, kisses the top of her head and squeezes her tightly. He briefly wipes at his eyes and laughs when he sees she teared up as well. He vaguely registers Steve hovering near his office, attempting to be inconspicuous while trying to assess whether everything is okay or not, but he ignores his partner for the time being.

“Then, I’d like to congratulate you for making an adult decision. Thanks for coming and sharing the news with me, Grace. Also, thank you very much for not becoming a police officer.”

“Mom would have killed me. Though she still might.”

“Listen, Grace.” Danny moves back and looks at her seriously. “Of course I wish that you’d continue to come to us - your parents - for advice, and listen to what I have to say. Your mother probably feels the same. But at the end, you have to make your own decisions. Even if you do something I don’t agree with, I’ll always support you. I want you to be happy, and for you to do what you feel is right. I’m incredibly proud of you, regardless of what you do. I couldn’t love you more if I tried. Let me know if you need me to talk to your mother.”

“I haven’t told her yet. I’m still a bit dazed, since I only got the letter today. I wasn’t even sure they’d take me. Thank you, Dad. I love you.”

“Love you, too. Can I tell the others, or do you want to keep the news to yourself a little longer? Steve looks like he’s about to burst into my office.”

“Sure, you can tell them. I just wanted you to be the first to know.”

Danny wraps her in his arms and holds her tightly as they get up from the couch together.

“Pennsylvania, huh?”

Grace nods. “Yeah, Eberly Campus. About one hour from Pittsburgh. Don’t even think about  transferring and following me there! This is the best job you’ve had, okay? I want to come back to you and Hawaii once I’m done, so please stay. I’ll be fine.”

Danny sighs, but relents and wipes at his eyes once more. Grace leans against him and they walk out, their arm wrapped around each other’s waist. They halt in front of Steve, who eyes them attentively and raises his eyebrows when Grace nudges Danny to prompt him to speak. Danny shares a smile with her, feeling himself tear up once more, before proudly sharing the news.

“My baby is going to college!”

***

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Five more chaps after this one. We're nearing the end.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First time Grace takes care of sick Danny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ‘Firsts’ written by EmptySky, betaed by Celeste6.

**Chapter 22: First time Grace takes care of sick Danny**

_ Danny: 42 years old _

_ Grace: 17 years old _

 

No matter how much Danny tosses and turns, he just cannot get comfortable. It’s not the couch, because the couch is so comfortable that he’s fallen asleep on it many times before, never having had a problem. No, it’s the virus that’s going about at work. Danny warned everyone to stay the hell away from him, determined to start a new no-puking record since the last streak was broken by some rancid Haupia last year, after a fabulous twenty years of not vomiting. It was just his luck that he had spent hours with Chin brooding over the tech table the day before yesterday to trace a victim’s last steps - one day before Chin called in sick.

For Danny, it started early this morning. He had just started a shower and stepped underneath the water stream when the queasiness appeared. Any hope that this might just be a coincidence and unrelated to the stomach flu epidemic went out the window when he felt a slight twinge in his abdomen. He had resigned himself to his fate and called in sick, learning that Jerry had done the same just half an hour earlier. This is how he finds himself vegetating on his couch, wearing a thin t-shirt and a light pair of sweats slung low on his hips, trying to avoid pressure on his stomach. He is certain he’s got a fever as well.

He is lightly dozing, waking up a few times to breathe deeply through his nose and needing to sit up to appease his stomach. He’s shifting restlessly, trying to find a position in which his stomach doesn’t hurt as much, when the front door unlocks and Grace walks in. She’s being very quiet, holding onto the keys to keep them from jiggling. She spots him peering at her halfway buried underneath a blanket, pale and offering her a wry smile, and takes in the bucket by the couch.

“Hey, Danno,” she greets him and goes to kiss his cheek, but Danny stops her before she can get too close.

“Don’t come near me or you’ll catch it. Besides me, Jerry and Chin and half the precinct are already down with stomach flu.” He sounds meek, his teeth are clenched together tightly to keep the nausea at bay.

“I heard,” she says sympathetically and sets her overnight bag down on the ground. “I went to your office and Steve told me it’s making its round.”

Danny jerks up and grimaces while holding his stomach tightly. “Is everything okay?”

“Yes,” Grace soothes him and pushes him back onto the couch. “I just wanted to visit you. There won’t be that many opportunities for me to stop by before I leave and I figured Mom had more than just her fair share.”

“That’s thoughtful, but I’m afraid I won’t be good company.”

“I don’t mind. After the puking incident from that weird dessert last year I think I can handle it. How are you feeling?”

“I was a lot better before you mentioned it,” Danny grumbles and shrugs. “I’ve felt better, though so far, I guess it could be a lot worse. I’m only nauseous and my stomach feels off. I heard that Chin is belching like he ate a whole carton of rotten eggs. Still waiting for that to happen…”

Grace wrinkles her nose at the thought and puts the back of her hand to Danny’s cheek, then moves to rest it against his forehead, ignoring him when he tries to shy away.

“You’re warm. Don’t you want to go to bed, get some real sleep?”

“Ah, no, I like it here.”

“Suit yourself. I’ll be right back.”

Grace takes her bag to her room and Danny can hear her pottering around the kitchen afterwards. He dozes off again, but wakes up when Grace sets down a tray on the side table. Danny takes one look at the bowl of crackers, the mug of herbal tea and the glass of water and swallows hard, angling his head away slightly.

“Dig in, Danno. It’ll be good for your stomach.”

“I’d rather not,” Danny says and his face looks even paler.

Grace sits down next to him and nudges his arm softly. “At least drink the water. Your lips are dry and you’ll feel even worse if you’re dehydrated.”

Danny shoots her a dark look, which she takes in stride and simply stares back with equal intensity. She smiles satisfied when Danny gives in and reaches for the water. It seems to settle in his stomach well, so Danny keeps taking tentative sips.

“How’s school?”

“Not much fun at the moment. I don’t think we’ve had that much to do, ever. I can’t believe I’m about to finish finals and graduate!”

“Yep, that makes two of us. Do you feel ready?”

“I guess. I’m nervous, but I haven’t done anything besides studying and preparing myself, so I should be fine. I’m glad that’s about to end, even if it’s only temporary. Let’s not talk about starting college. I need to take this one step at a time.”

“If I can help you somehow, you let me know,” Danny tells her and hands her the empty glass to set down. “Not sure I’ll be able to make sense of everything you’re learning, but if you gave me your notes, I could quiz you.”

“Thanks, Danno, I might take you up on that offer. Though I’ve split up my time and like using my time with you to relax and distract myself from the exam stress. God, can you believe I’ll be in college in a few months?”

“I can’t, in fact. It’s completely terrifying. What does that say about me, being old enough to have a daughter in college? It’s a scrap of comfort that we’re not quite there yet. It’ll happen sooner than we think. The next weeks will be so hectic that time flies by quickly. I could swear that it was just yesterday you rode your bike without stabilizers for the first time, but no, that was almost fifteen years ago.”

“Stop worrying so much! You look good, at least for someone aged forty-two.” Grace laughs when he glares at her. “It was a joke, relax. You know, once finals are done, the two of us should do something nice before the stress of moving starts.”

“We’ll think of something. I’m not letting you move to Pennsylvania without going all out for you. Moving won’t be bad. You have a lot of support on this island - me, the team, your mother and Stan… I’ll help where I can, if what Chin gave to me doesn’t kill me first,” Danny grunts and his hand flies to his belly at a sharp stab of pain.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go to bed?”

Grace makes the question seem like a no-brainer, and this time Danny can’t help but agree. He carefully sits up and swings his leg off the couch, wincing when moving jostles his insides painfully. He remains hunched over motionless, until Grace takes pity on him and helps him stand up. Danny feels shaky and it must show because Grace lets him lean on her all the way to his bed. She leaves once Danny is lying down and returns with a pill she hands to her father with a glass of water, and the bucket she places in front of the bed.

“Take it, it’s for the fever. You’re really warm, Danno.”

“Thanks, Grace,” Danny sighs and swallows the medicine with difficulty, fighting the urge to retch. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Me too.” Grace pulls the covers up to his chest and smoothes out the wrinkles. She kisses his cheek and grins when he manages a smile despite clearly feeling poorly, his cheeks flushed and beads of perspiration dotted on his forehead.

“How long are you staying?”

“Until you’re feeling better. Well, at least until Sunday night. I don’t have anything planned except studying, and I can do that here.”

“You’re a good kid,” Danny mumbles and lays his head back on the pillow in exhaustion.

“You raised me, remember? Now sleep. Yell if you need anything!” Grace orders and closes the bedroom door on her way out.

Danny dozes off eventually, but is kept from sleeping restfully by the discomfort in his stomach. It’s not even so much discomfort anymore as it is pain, making it impossible to find a position he can remain in for more than a few moments. He jerks awake at feeling bile rise up in his throat. Wanting to avoid using the bucket, he stumbles out of bed and barely reaches the toilet in time to lift up the lid and drop to his knees, vomiting forcefully. He shudders as his abdominal muscles contract painfully. The sharp ache in his right side makes it hard for him to remain hunched over and he shifts to the left, shakily reaching up to flush when the urge to gag seems to have passed. He pulls himself up on shaky legs at the sink. His shirt is soaked with sweat, a good indication that his fever has risen.

He forgoes the toothbrush to avoid another bout of vomiting but rinses his mouth with water and mouthwash. As he spits, he realizes that though he prepared himself for the worst, he has not thrown up anything vile like his colleagues have. It was only bile, the taste completely gone after rinsing, whereas everyone else burped up something tasting and smelling like rotten egg. And while everyone else had bad cramps and diarrhea shortly after starting to feel sick, he hasn’t had that either. Just as Danny feels glad that maybe he caught a milder case of the flu, he realizes that maybe it is not the flu at all.

Another sharp sting to his side seems to confirm his growing suspicion and he groans - a trip to the hospital unavoidable. He splashes some water in his face and dries it with his shirt before throwing it in the hamper and putting on a fresh one. He considers calling a cab, not wanting to create a fuss, but he knows he can’t just disappear without a word. He shuffles towards Grace’s room and knocks softly, entering at her permission.

Grace is still dressed and sitting cross-legged on her bed, reading something on her laptop and listening to some music. She looks at him with a smile that quickly turns into a frown at his wrecked appearance.

“You’re not feeling any better?”

“About that… How do you feel about going out tonight?” Danny keeps a hand pressed to his side as if that alone could hold himself together, continuing to talk when Grace looks at him questioningly. “Not to worry you, but I’m pretty sure this is not the flu. I think it may be my appendix, so I’ve got to go to the hospital and get checked out. Are you up to driving me?”

“What, seriously? Are you sure I should drive you? Shouldn’t I call an ambulance? Are you in pain? You look like you’re in pain,” Grace rambles as she powers down her laptop, puts on a thin jersey, and grabs her purse, rummaging around for her phone and keys.

“Relax, we don’t need an ambulance. It hurts, but it’s not unbearable. Look, I may be wrong and it is the stomach flu after all. It’s probably best a doctor takes a look just in case. If you’re too nervous to drive I can call a cab, but we would be faster if you drove.”

“I’m good. I can do this.”

“Awesome. Let’s go.”

Danny feels shaky, so he accepts Grace’s help as she wraps an arm around his waist to steady him, leaning on her on their way out. They stop in the living room when Grace points out that he is barefoot. He does not even want to think about the ache bending over to put on shoes will cause, and he waves her suggestion off.

“Nah, I’ll skip shoes. Let’s just go.”

Grace shakes her head exasperated and tells him to wait as she heads for his bedroom and returns with a pair of socks and sneakers. She has him hold onto the wall and bends down at his feet. Danny sighs, annoyed at needing help from his daughter for such a simple task, but is quickly distracted by the pain. He is set to go in no time and grabs his wallet and keys on the way out. He ignores Grace’s car entirely and heads for the passenger seat of the Camaro. He shrugs when she looks at him with wide eyes and hands her the keys.

“I don’t think I’m able to drive, and my car’s more comfortable than yours. I don’t think I could squash myself into yours at the moment, anyway. You driving my car is an exception, you hear me? This is a one-time occurrence,” he tells Grace as she gets in behind the wheel and adjusts the seat to her posture. “Just do me a favor and drive carefully, please. I’m fine, there is no need to speed and wreck the car.”

She rolls her eyes at his instructions, but gets them safely to the hospital in no time. She finds a parking spot nearby and jumps out, holds the door open and helps her father get out and into the emergency room. Since the nurses recognize him, Danny doesn’t have to wait long before being called up to an exam room. Grace waits on a chair while Danny undresses down to his underwear and puts on a gown, laying down on the gurney. A doctor comes in not much later and listens to Danny’s suspicion before starting a thorough examination, including drawing some blood, palpating his stomach, and performing an ultrasound of Danny’s abdomen.

His first diagnosis seems to be confirmed when the doctor bends Danny’s right knee and pushes the leg towards his body, causing Danny to cry out in pain. The bloodwork comes back quickly and shows an elevated white cell count. With all symptoms pointing towards appendicitis, the doctor doesn’t waste any time and instructs the nurse to inform the surgeon on call.

“It seems you were right, Detective. We’re getting an OR ready and will take you to surgery as soon as possible. From what I can see on the ultrasound, your appendix has not ruptured yet, so we’ll try removing it laparoscopically with three small incisions. If it ruptures, we’ll need to perform open surgery with a longer incision.” The doctor explains both procedures and the possible, but unlikely, risks as he has Danny sign the consent forms. “When is the last time you had anything to eat or drink?”

“I haven’t had food since last night since I’ve been feeling sick all day. I had a glass of water three or four hours ago, but I threw up just before coming here.”

The doctor nods and scribbles down some notes on a chart before he inserts an IV in Danny’s arm and administers some light pain medication, something to combat the nausea as well as something to help Danny relax while he waits. Danny endures it all without complaining but takes notice of how tense Grace is as she watches on.

“Thanks for waiting with me, but I think it’s time you went home to your mother, or back to my place if you want time to yourself. There’s some cash in my wallet if you want to call a cab.”

“No, I want to stay here with you.”

“They’ll take me to surgery soon and I’ll be out for a while afterwards. There’s no need for both of us to stay here. You heard the doc, if it all goes to plan it’ll only take about an hour. You could wait at home. I’m sure they’d call if something went wrong.”

“Don’t say that! You’ll be fine!” Grace scolds him. “And I don’t care that you’ll be asleep. I just want someone to be here for you, okay?”

“Yeah, sorry. I’m just saying, you shouldn’t spend any more time here than you have to. You could have them call you at home once they’re done, and then visit me in the morning. Feel free to do whatever you want.”

Grace nods and decides to stay, but heads for the vending machine down the hall once a nurse comes in to shave Danny for the procedure, something he doesn’t want her present for and she definitely doesn’t want to see. A short while later the nurse walks out of the exam room, followed by two orderlies pushing Danny’s gurney. Grace takes a bag with Danny’s clothes, keys and wallet, and hugs Danny carefully.

“Good luck, Dad! You’ll be fine. I love you.”

“I love you, too. Don’t be scared, this is routine for the docs,” Danny tries calming her down and strokes her back. “Promise me you’ll go home if you’re tired. No need to wait up for me. Just do me a favor, okay? Can you tell Steve what happened and that I won’t be in for a while? Don’t call him now, wait till it’s morning. There’s no need to wait up and worry. Will you do that? Thank you!”

Grace kisses his cheek and waves him goodbye when they enter the elevator taking Danny to the surgical floor, not being allowed to come along. He closes his eyes once the doors close and Grace is no longer in sight, trying to block his surroundings out as best he can. He’s still hurting and more nervous than he let on, feigning calm to keep Grace from freaking out. Danny takes deep breaths to relax, but whatever composure he gained evaporates the moment Danny smells the sharp antiseptic scent around him. His heart is pounding as he’s transferred from the gurney to the operating table, scooting over and laying down. He doesn’t want to watch them prepare him, but he cannot look away either. The gown is taken away and he lies naked until a nurse pulls up a sheet that covers his lower half until just below his groin. She attaches some electrodes to his chest and connects him to a heart monitor, all the while talking to him calmly as she moves around him before finally taking a seat by his head. The fast beeping of his heart fills the room and the nurse smiles at him warmly, though he can only see her eyes between the cap and the mask.

“I bet that’s not how you pictured your day to end.”

“Could have done without this.” He shrugs and watches as his arm is strapped down, his eyes darting to another nurse preparing syringes containing the anesthesia drugs on a tray.

The nurse gently directs his attention back to her.

“Well, this will be over before you know it. We’re just preparing some last things before we put you under. Don’t be nervous, okay? It’s a fairly common surgery and you’re a healthy man, we don’t expect any complications. We’ll move you to the recovery room to wake up in once the procedure is done. You probably won’t remember that later. You’ll be transferred to a regular room once you’re stable and alert.”

“My daughter is waiting for me outside, Grace Williams. Can you let her know when the surgery is done? I don’t want her to worry.”

“I’ll make sure she’s told,” the nurse assures him. “Is there someone with her?”

“No, she’s alone, but she’s old enough. Starting college in the fall. She drove me to the emergency room and I couldn’t get her to go home, she’s stubborn.”

“Now, that’s nerve wracking! I’ve got two sons, the youngest is going to college next year. I don’t even want to think about it, yet. It’s like they were a baby just a moment ago, and suddenly they’re ready to leave and live their own life. You appreciate every moment spent with them. It’s nice your daughter came to support you, even if it’s just to get your appendix taken out.”

Danny nods, focusing on the nurse to shut out the bustle around him, but feeling his heart beat even faster when she shifts to make room for what must be the anesthetist, who doesn’t even bother introducing himself.

“We’re ready to begin, so you just lay here and relax. I’ll put a mask on your face and need you to take some deep breaths. We’ll administer the anesthetics at the same time, so you may feel very warm or even dizzy. You’ll be asleep quickly and we’ll keep you that way until we’re done, okay?”

Danny nods and swallows hard as the nurse places the mask over his nose and mouth. He sees the anesthetist empty one syringe after the other into the IV in his arm strapped to the table. He wants to look, but the nurse gently straightens his head and strokes his cheek with her gloved finger, encouraging him to take deep breaths. He feels himself get heavier so quickly he doesn’t even have the time to panic. He finds himself unable to move, but he doesn’t care, and then he doesn’t think.

***

“Is he okay?”

The worried words softly spoken by a familiar voice penetrate his subconscious and warm his heart, though he feels very cold everywhere else. His thoughts are strangely sluggish, his body tired and lethargic. Danny registers lying on something soft, feeling unlike his own bed, and he can’t remember where he is. He wants to look around but his eyes won’t open. He shivers, his whole body trembling continuously.

“Yes sweetheart, everything went very well. Some patients shiver like that after waking up from anesthesia. It will pass on its own, but if your father appears to be uncomfortable we can give him something to stop the shakes. You can sit with him, if you want to. He woke up a few minutes ago but he’ll be groggy for another while. Let me just get an extra blanket to get him warm and I’ll be right back with you.”

Danny feels someone’s fingertips stroking up and down his bare arm. It’s nice and somewhat comforting amid his confusion. He isn’t sure how much time passes, but he eventually manages to open his eyes into tiny slits and makes out Grace sitting at his bedside. They make eye contact and Grace beams at him widely. He wants to return the smile, but his body doesn’t seem to listen to him yet as only the corner of his upper lip lifts up slightly.

“You’re okay, Danno. Everything went well and you’re all done.”

Danny still isn’t sure about the situation, but trusts his daughter as she gently brushes her hand over his forehead.

A woman dressed in green scrubs walks up and hands Grace a blanket, which she carefully puts over another blanket already covering his shivering body. Grace sees him observing the nurse and must register his confusion, because she pulls the blanket up to his neck and soothingly strokes the side of his face.

“You’re in the hospital, remember? They had to take out your appendix. You’ll be fine. It’s okay, Dad. Go back to sleep if you want.”

Danny just blinks in exhaustion and finds it too hard to open his eyes again. Sleeping sounds like a good idea, and he drifts off to Grace’s soft touches and her calming voice.

The next time Danny comes to, he is resting comfortably. The blanket is covering him up to his chest and he is no longer cold or trembling. The events of last night come back to him as he looks around in the dimly lit room and makes out Steve sitting in a chair by his bed, the man’s legs crossed as he busies himself with the phone in his hand.

Danny licks his lips to wet them and lifts up his hand to rest it on his stomach, able to feel an adhesive gauze pad covering his navel and one on each side of his groin. He feels slightly hazy, but he isn’t hurting. He swallows and tentatively clears his throat, relieved when that doesn’t bring on any pain either.

Steve immediately pockets his phone and leans forward.

“How are you feeling?”

“I’m alright,” Danny answers truthfully. “A bit annoyed, if I’m honest.”

“I can’t leave you alone for one day!” Steve shakes his head, but his tone reveals that he’s truly relieved Danny is fine.

“It’s not like there was anything I could have done,” Danny defends himself before gesturing towards his gown-clad middle. “So, how did it go?”

“I haven’t spoken to a doctor yet, but Grace did last night. The procedure took about an hour and went without any problems. They were able to do it laparoscopically, so there are only three small incisions and you get to go home in two or three days if everything heals well. So far, so good. How is the pain?”

“It was bad last night. Now there’s just some light pressure. I don’t know how to describe it. It feels weird, but it doesn’t hurt. I’m just really tired.”

“That’s the anesthesia. It takes a while until the drugs leave your body. You’ve been sleeping for a while.”

“What time is it?”

“A little after eight,” Steve tells him after consulting his watch. “You went into surgery around midnight and have been asleep for the most part since then. Grace said you woke up for a minute when they settled you in this room, though.”

“And you?”

“I got Grace’s message at 5 and immediately came here. She was fine, didn’t even need my support.”

“How is she doing now?”

Steve gestures to Danny’s other side and smiles. Danny turns and sees Grace sitting on a chair with her knees drawn up to her chest and her head resting against the wall, covered by a blanket.

“She has been with you all night and only went to sleep two hours ago, after some persuasion on my part.”

“Can you do me a favor and take her home?”

“Man, I tried to. I offered many times. I’m telling you, that girl is as stubborn as her father. She was adamant that she didn’t want you to be alone or wake up without her.”

Danny smiles and calls his daughter’s name to get her to wake up, but she remains fast asleep, her cheeks rosy, the blanket fisted in her hand tucked underneath her chin. Danny asks Steve to help him out, and watches him walk over and gently put his hand on her shoulder. Grace curls in on herself at first as she wakes up, before registering Steve next to her, and she jerks up. She pushes the blanket aside and immediately gets up and focuses on Danny.

“How are you feeling?” She asks and takes his hand in hers, her eyes wide as she scans his face.

“Much better than last night.” Danny squeezes her hand calmingly and smiles. “Thank you for helping me out.”

“It was no problem at all. You’re my dad, it goes without saying I’m here for you.”

Danny nods and licks his dry lips, at which Grace pours him a cup of water from the bedside table. She hands it to him and gently cups the back of his head to support him as he takes a sip. When he finishes, his mouth and throat feel better, but he’s even more tired. He thanks her as she sets the cup aside and takes in her appearance, so eager to help him despite clearly being tired herself.

“Go home, Gracie, rest.”

“I’m fine,” Grace puts him off. “I want to stay with you.”

“And I appreciate that, but I won’t do any more than sleep. I’m still groggy from all the excitement and will probably sleep for most of the day.”

“I don’t know…” Grace seems hesitant.

“But I do. Listen, I’ll probably need some help to get around once I’m released. I’d be glad to accept your help then, should you have time after school. It’s pointless now. Really, go home and get some sleep in a real bed.” Danny insists and looks at Steve for help.

Steve nods. “Danno’s right, you should go home. Come on, I’ll drive you. I promise, I’ll pick you up later and take you back to see him.”

“Okay,” Grace relents but looks at Danny sternly. “I want you to promise me that should there be any problems, or anything you need, that you will have the nurses call me, yes?”

“I promise,” Danny grins and yawns.

“I’ll stop by again in a bit,” Steve promises and gets closer, touching Danny’s shoulder lightly. “Do me a favor and try to stay out of trouble until then, yeah?”

“I’ll do my best,” Danny mumbles as he feels himself fading fast.

“Get some rest,” Steve orders and claps Danny’s shoulder once more, nodding somberly when Danny reaches for his hand and squeezes with gratitude and encouragement. He steps back and Grace takes his place. She leans over the bed and kisses Danny’s forehead, brushes his hair back and smiles.

“Sleep well, Dad. I’ll be back later.”

“Thanks for everything, Grace. I’m just sorry you wasted that much of your weekend on me, you probably had other things in mind when you came.”

“I’m glad I stopped by,” she replies in earnest. “You’ve always been there for me, and I’m glad I got to be there for you this once. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. Love you, Danno.”

***


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First time Grace realizes what Danny gave up for her

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ‘Firsts’ written by EmptySky, betaed by Celeste6

**Chapter 23: First time Grace realizes what Danny gave up for her**

 

_ Danny: 43 years old _

_ Grace: 18 years old _

“Can you believe she had all that in her room? It’s more than I have around the entire house.”

Danny and Steve stand in Danny’s living room and look at all the bags and boxes Grace has packed, its contents neatly labelled by a black marker and strewn everywhere.

“We’re not taking all of that to the airport though, are we?”

“Lord no. Some of this is going to Rachel’s, some of it to one of her friends, and the rest she either takes along or puts it back in her room. I’m not entirely sure where which pile is going. I do know that the stuff by the couch is going into the trashcan.”

“Looks like there is still lots of work to do… She does know her flight is leaving today, right?”

“ _ She _ is standing right here,” Grace interjects and moves between them, wrapping an arm around Danny jovially. “Yep, I’m aware. We’re right on schedule and will get the important tasks done today, since you two are here to help me. And well, I was hoping my Danno would take care of the rest.”

Danny and Steve share a long glance - Steve looking sympathetic and Danny more tortured than anything else.

“It’s not like I have a choice but to finish. It’s my house that’s currently looking like a warehouse, and you will be gone in less than two hours. If I ever want to feel comfortable again, I’ll have to take care of it.”

“At least my room is spotless now. You can just put the boxes inside and close the door,” Grace suggests. “I’ll unpack next time I come home.”

Steve raises his eyebrows as he takes in the different piles, not sure her idea diminishes the mess she created over the past days as much as it only relocates it to a new place.

“We’ll see about that,” Danny grumbles, very clearly not fond of the idea, “But you may be right, I don’t think your room has ever been this clean. You sorting out your stuff has been long overdue. I’ve been telling you to figure out what you really need and what can go for years. Now what? You waited too long, you won’t get done in time, and I have to clean up after you once more. There’s no way I’m leaving this until you’re back for Thanksgiving.”

“Let’s not argue during the last hours I’m here.” Grace pouts and flashes Danny an apologetic smile that is immediately returned. “Thanks, Dad.”

Grace disentangles herself from their embrace and goes back to sorting through a basket of freshly washed laundry she placed on the coffee table, alternatingly stuffing clothes into a cardboard box and her suitcase. Danny scratches his head and turns to Steve, when he notices that the other man is watching him carefully.

“This is already harder than you thought it would be, eh?”

“Are you kidding me? I can’t wait until I’m able to see the carpet again and use the furniture the way it was intended to, as opposed to it acting as a shelf. I’ve been living like this for a week. The only room she has not conquered is my bedroom,” Danny sighs. “I can’t believe she is really leaving. I’ve been preparing myself for this moment since she was born. Time went by so fast. I hate having to let her go.”

“I know, and I’m here for you. Another reason I came is that I was worried you might decide to pack up everything yourself and follow her. I’m here to make sure that doesn’t happen. I need you here, buddy.”

“No, I’m not following her this time.” Danny shakes his head dejectedly and picks up two black trash bags by the couch. “If you don’t mind, I’ll start decluttering.”

Steve and Grace watch Danny as he walks out of the house and down the driveway to the trash cans, the heavy bags trailing behind him. Grace frowns and turns towards Steve. She puts a hand to his arm to get his attention.

“Uncle Steve, can you look after him for me? You know how he is. He’ll deny all company and say he’s fine, but he probably won’t be at first. I know you always have each other’s backs at work, so please make sure he’s okay.”

Steve draws her in for a hug and smiles. “I’ll do my best. It’ll be a challenge to keep him from being even grumpier than he already is, though. Yes, I’ll watch out for him, don’t worry, Grace, I promise. You take care of yourself and don’t worry.”

“Are we packing or what?” Danny asks, a bit irritated as he walks back inside, rubbing his hands on his pants and sighing when Grace gives him another hug. “Alright kid, let’s get a move on. I want as little work left for me as possible.”

Grace and Steve share a knowing look and nod at each other briefly, before going back to their tasks at hand. Steve focuses on getting the various suitcases filled to the brim and inside his car, while Danny carries into Grace’s room what will remain at his house and Grace looks through the shelves in the living room to make sure there isn’t anything she overlooked during her first search. She hesitates near the bottom shelf by the TV, then crouches down and takes out a large book with leather binding. She flips it open and upon realizing what she discovered, sits down in the armchair.

“Aww Grace, really? What are you doing with that thing? Come on, let’s pack!”

Grace doesn’t react however and flips open the first page.

“That’s our family album, isn’t it?”

“It is, and some photos from Jersey, but I’m not sure this is the right time to look at the old stuff now. Grace -”

“Aww, look at that! That’s you as baby! You were so cute,” Grace exclaims and turns the page, tilting the album so that Steve can look as well. “Here’s you and Uncle Matt when you were little, building a snowman! And that’s you riding with Grandpa in the fire engine.”

Danny gives a particularly heavy box with things destined for Rachel’s basement a hard shove so it fits between the coffee table and the couch, and stands next to Steve to look over Grace’s shoulder. Together, they look at the many photos documenting moments of Danny’s life. He hasn’t thought about the album in a long time, so he smiles at the memories resurfacing. Every turn of the page reveals a reminder of past years, some light and amusing, others somewhat painful.

There are snapshots of his younger self as he’s skating through the side streets of Newark, hanging out with his friends - some of which remained his closest friends up until he moved to Hawaii; of himself with his parents and siblings celebrating birthdays or holidays, as well as of himself with his nieces and nephews as they all grew older; pictures of him wearing his police uniform with pride shining from his eyes. All of the photos are taken around Newark or New York City. Danny remembers where he was just by looking at the background, knowing the area he grew up in by heart.

“Look at how young you looked back then, Danno,” Grace remarks and hastily adds, “No offense, Dad. You know what I mean.”

“Just wait until it happens to you…”

Grace gives a little cough and flips another page. She smiles at what must be one of the first photos ever taken of Danny and Rachel together, the latter resting comfortably in Danny’s embrace as they cuddle on Midland Beach on Staten Island. There are more pictures like that, some of them with Danny’s parents, others of them with friends or capturing them assembling furniture to their first apartment together. She briefly runs her index finger over her parents’ wedding picture. Both of them are beaming widely, deeply in love and years away from the rough spot that led to the end of their marriage.

Grace turns yet another page and comes to face with a very pregnant Rachel. Next is an awed but clearly tired Danny holding her during what must be the first few hours of Grace’s life. In another snapshot, Danny’s kissing her forehead while cradling her, looking like he couldn’t be any happier. She chuckles at the photo of the young family asleep on her grandparents’ couch. Some photos are of her held by Danny’s friends, some of which she recognizes from the previous pictures showing Danny’s teenager years. Consistent in all of the photos is Danny’s smile and the confidence only someone truly at ease with himself and his surroundings can radiate.

“Are you still in contact with your friends?” Grace wonders as she realizes that she has never seen her father receive visitors from New Jersey, apart from close family members.

Danny slowly tears his gaze away from the album and vaguely gestures his hand. “Sporadically, yes. Not all of them, though. We call each other on birthdays and sometimes get to meet up when I’m back in Jersey. It’s always been difficult with the hours I work, so the different time zones and the long distance doesn’t make it any easier.”

“I hear you,” Steve softly says and shares a quick glance with Danny, as he thinks about his active time in the Navy and how he and Danny are not only connected through their job but also by some similar experiences.  

Grace flips through the rest of the album, which shows more recent photos, mostly of her with her father and some of the members of Five-0. Once she reaches the last page, Danny gently takes it out of her hands, closes it, and puts it away with a wistful expression.

“Can I ask you something? Do you miss New Jersey, after all this time?”

“Sometimes,” Danny admits and shrugs. “I lived there for most of my life. I got used to living here on Hawaii, but Jersey is home for me. It’s okay. Most people go to Hawaii for their vacation and I go to Newark. What are you thinking, baby?”

“I just realize that you gave up a lot when you moved here. Basically your entire life as you knew it. Just look at the album. Your whole life was there. You grew up in Jersey, your entire family is there, you had your friends, your dream job, a solid career, and you gave all of it up.”

Danny steps around the chair and sits down on the armrest, smiling down at her softly. He vaguely registers Steve discreetly removing himself to deal with the rest of Grace’s things.

“I did not give up  _ all _ of it. And I had to do it, you know?”

“No, you didn’t. You miss New Jersey, you just said so yourself. You can’t stand Hawaii. You hate the sun, and the heat, and the beach…”

“Grace. Back when I got divorced, I thought it was the worst thing that could ever happen to me. Not getting to see you every day, as little as you were, and having another man take my place raising you. None of that comes even close to the feelings I had when you moved to Hawaii. I followed as soon as I could. There was no way I could have gone any longer without you. I had to be where you were. And even though I missed so much of your life, having so little time with you because of the job and visitation, it was worth every second. It doesn’t mean I don’t miss New Jersey, but you are also ‘home’ to me. Now give me a hug, and then I’m afraid we’ve got to get ready to leave.”

With a deep sigh, Grace wraps her arms around her father and squeezes tightly, her face resting against his chest. Danny cups her head gently and caresses her back with his other hand soothingly.

“Thanks for loving me so much you were willing to give up all you’ve known. I don’t know if I thanked you before, which I should have done. In case you were wondering, I still remember how happy I was when you followed us here, because I missed you, too. Thanks so much for all you’ve done, Dad.”

Danny rises from his position and draws Grace up as well, pulling her in for a tight embrace and placing a kiss on her cheek. Grace smiles before patting his back and trying to withdraw.

“I think we should help Steve get the last stuff to the car.”

“Not yet,” Danny mumbles and holds on.

Grace wraps her arms back around him and leans against him.

“Promise me you’ll call.”

“I haven’t even left the island yet, Dad.”

“Promise!”

“Okay, I promise that I’ll call and text you. And I’ll come home for the holidays and during semester breaks.”

Danny scoffs, “As if you’d hang out with your old man when you can be having fun with your friends.”

“Who doesn’t want to vacation on Hawaii? No, don’t answer! I’ll make my friends come to Honolulu with me, so it’s a win-win situation. And Danno, if you want to, you can come visit me once you take time off of work. Pittsburgh is supposed to be really nice. We could even go see a Steelers game.”

“Oh, I’ll definitely come. Seriously Grace, any time you feel you need to come home, your room will be waiting for you. Be careful and stay out of trouble. Call me, let me know if there is anything you need.”

“I will.”

“Anything at all. I mean it. Don’t hesitate.” Danny lets her go and wipes at his eyes before gesturing to where Steve just entered the house. “Crazy SEAL over there will help me get to you the second you need me. He might even hijack a plane for that.”

Grace laughs before wiping her eyes herself.

“Oh, you laugh. Steve did that before, so he’s experienced and could probably do it again.”

Steve shrugs at Grace’s incredulous glance and nods. “Yeah, we kind of did that once. But it was an emergency, and we returned the plane in good condition. Kind of.”

“I’m not sure I should leave the two of you alone,” Grace sighs and hugs Steve briefly. “Please, take care of each other. Don’t do anything reckless. And make sure you guys have something to do on free weekends. I don’t want my Danno moping around on the couch all day.”

“Will do, Gracie.”

“I hate to say it, but I think we need to leave,” Steve says after consulting his watch.

Danny sighs and looks at all the things still cluttering up his living room, but suddenly finds that he doesn’t mind it so much if it means that Grace is around. She is an adult now, ready to live her own life. It didn’t happen overnight, it has been a long process Danny is glad he got to witness and support. Still, having to let her go feels unbearable, almost as bad as when he said goodbye before Grace’s move to the island. He will be hurting for a while, but he has to keep himself together for a few more hours. Maybe until she has boarded the plane. Or until Rachel is no longer there to witness it. Though he suspects she feels quite the same.

“Are you sure you got all your stuff? Your purse? The plane tickets?”

“It’s all there,” Grace says before deciding to do one final tour through the house to make sure she really has everything. She makes her way past the boxes in her bedroom, takes a quick glance into the bathroom and Danny’s bedroom, slips through the kitchen and ends back inside the living room. Grace briefly wipes her eyes again, but bravely walks back to where Danny and Steve are waiting at the door. “Let’s go. We’re meeting Mom and Stan at the gate, they’re bringing the suitcase I packed at their house.”

“You’ve got too much stuff,” Danny mutters, but nods and opens the door.

He fights hard to keep his emotions at bay as Grace walks past him and towards the car. It helps that Steve is with him, helping him face a day he has dreaded since Grace’s birth. He feels Steve squeeze his arm and give him the impulse to move forward. He gives Grace a wry smile as he turns around in the passenger seat in order to offer her a handkerchief to wipe away the tears flowing freely. He still feels like joining her, but he has to keep himself together a little longer. He watches Grace dab at her eyes, as she turns herself to look back at the house as they drive off, until she can’t see it anymore; off to the airport and her new future, heading onto a plane not to return for a long time. And that is how a new time in Danny’s life begins, different from the life he led before.

 

***


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First time Grace rescues Danny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ‘Firsts’ written by EmptySky, betaed by Celeste6.

**Chapter 24: First time Grace rescues Danny**

 

_ Danny: 46 years old _

_ Grace: 21 years old _

 

Ever since the dreadful events unfolding at work the previous Thursday, Danny has been lying on his bed. He’s on his side on top of the blankets, facing away from the door and looking straight at the walls. And just like the past countless hours, he isn’t moving. He blinks his eyes occasionally when the burning sensation gets too much, or when treacherous tears begin clouding his vision, but he lies entirely still otherwise.

Danny feels the uncomfortable pressure from remaining in the same position for too long, but he cannot bring himself to care, or to do anything about it. Shifting is too big of a task to accomplish at the moment, and he deems himself unworthy of the relief it would bring. He is in a daze and has long shut out his surroundings. He’s deaf to chirping birds and the faint whooshing of the wind, as well as the few cars driving down his street. Danny is trapped in his thoughts, barely aware of the soft ticking of the clock, the only steady background noise he can hear. It is ticking relentlessly, reminding him that time goes on whether he wants it to or not. Yet, he has no sense of how much time actually passes. His only orientation is the light from the sun and the moon. It doesn’t seem to matter anyway.

Since he doesn’t feel as hungry as he did before, the ache not as stabbing and the sick feeling to his stomach not as prominent as earlier, he figures that it’s still Tuesday. Kono had stopped by some time in the morning and had literally dragged him out of bed. She was fierce, far stronger than one might think just from looking at her - but then again, he’d been weakened from refusing to eat. She had been visibly disturbed at his appearance, his dry and chapped lips and the ever-present lethargy. He didn’t care and had tried to resist her attempts to get him to eat and drink, though to no avail.

He knows he is a wreck. He hasn’t changed his clothes in days, still wearing the attire Chin helped him into Thursday night, when he had been too shaky to get out of the blood-stained clothes himself. His hair is stringy and all over the place, his beard is a mess. In the end, it doesn’t matter.

Danny sighs and blinks, continuing to look at the wall. He hears the front door opening, but he doesn’t move from his spot. It’s probably Kono again, wanting to see if he’s still alive. Or Chin - who as a matter of prudence had taken his guns from him - as Kono might have gotten tired of taking care of him for the better part of the week. Maybe even both of them to get him out of bed and cleaned up. Or a burglar, to finally put him out of his misery, Danny hopes. Yet, he only blinks his eyes.

He can hear someone approaching his bedroom and momentarily halting by the open door. He hears a sharp intake of breath before the soft steps come closer. Danny feels a hand touching his shoulder, fingertips ghosting over his back, and then he hears something he did not expect.

“Oh, Danno.”

Something aches inside his chest and he has to close his eyes, just for a brief moment, to collect himself at the familiar voice. Whoever he expected to come, Grace was not one of them.

Grace walks around him, strips off her shoes and climbs on top of the bed, lying down on the other side facing him. She doesn’t comment on him being in this state. She doesn’t tell him that he is a mess, and she ignores just how badly he reeks. Instead, she scoots even closer. She kisses his cheek and leans her forehead against his, her hand resting on his shoulder. It’s the incentive he needs to break out of his stupor.

“What are you doing here?” His voice is rough, not having spoken in a while.

“I came to check up on you. I was worried...”

“How did you know?”

“For one, you haven’t texted me in five days,” Grace explains and softly squeezes him. “Steve called and told me.”

“He shouldn’t have done that.”

“He was worried, Dad. Rightfully so. He didn’t know what else to do.”

A few teardrops leave Danny’s eyes and roll down his face. They collect at the tip of his nose and drip down onto the pillow. He closes his eyes in an attempt to hide his shame. His daughter only reaches out to touch his cheek. She brushes her fingertips against the untrimmed beard and trails down his neck. She scoots even closer and draws him in for a hug, until his head rests against her shoulder. Danny tries to resist at first, but she doesn’t let him go. It doesn’t take long before he relaxes, draws in some hitched breaths and starts to cry. It’s something he hasn’t been able to allow himself for days. Now that he started, he isn’t sure he’ll be able to stop. But Grace, amazing Grace, is there to help him through. She doesn’t shush him, doesn’t tell him to stop or to man up. She lets him cry, get all the pent up emotions off his chest and continues to hold him.

“It wasn’t your fault. Dad, please don’t do this to yourself. I know what you’re thinking, but you’re wrong.”

“It was a bullet from my gun.”

“You were not careless, though! You did not aim at Steve,” Grace says softly, yet insistently. “He got caught in the crossfire, there was nothing you could have done differently.”

Danny shakes his head and continues speaking as if he has not heard her.

“Steve almost died. Did they tell you they had to resuscitate him?” He shudders at the memory replaying in his head. “I’ve known the man for 13 years, seen him risk his life numerous times. He has done things I can’t even talk about; that’s how borderline insane he is. Lord knows what even crazier things he did during his time in the Navy. He has never -  _ never _ \- come this close to dying. For almost two minutes they fought to get him back. And now? He is looking at months and months of painful recuperation. All because of a bullet that came from my gun.”

“Steve knows it was an accident. He is not angry, nor does he hold a grudge. I’m so sure of that because he told me. It was one of the first things he said when he called. And if you weren’t as stubborn and refusing to talk to people, you’d know.”

Grace tousles his hair soothingly as he listens, though remaining silent nuzzled against her shoulder.

“I flew out here as soon as I could. There were some things I had to take care of first and then there was a four hour wait for the connection in Denver, but I finally made it. Just so you know, we got exactly one hour before I’m expected to deliver a report on how we’re doing. Steve said that if I didn’t come, or manage to set you straight, he’d break out of the hospital, consequences be damned.”

“He won’t. He can’t even walk yet,” Danny grunts. “And he shouldn’t have burdened you with what happened.”

Grace leans back and looks at him seriously. “Nothing that concerns my father will burden me. Ever. Do you understand? I’d have liked to hear it from you, but I’m glad Steve called. Even when you’re in the hospital, you still look out for each other. Don’t be fooled though, he sounded determined. I wouldn’t put crawling to get to you past him.”

“He should stop worrying about how I’m doing and focus on his recovery. Doc said he had to rest and take it slow if he wants to get back up on his feet.”

“You know how he is. You’re both alike in that way. Besides, Steve misses you. He’s your best friend. He called me because he didn’t know what else to do. Chin and Kono tried to get you out of this funk, to no avail. Usually, Steve would have been there to make sure your head is in the right place, but yes, he cannot quite manage leaving the hospital yet.”

Danny sighs and wipes at his eyes with the back of his hand. He creates some space between him and his daughter and sits up, leaning his head against the bedrest. Grace follows suit and reaches for his hand. Danny permits the touch and squeezes hers in appreciation. Grace gives him a soft smile in return.

“What about your studies?” Danny asks, opting for a change of topic. “It’s mid-term…”

“It’s fine. I talked to the Dean and got to leave for a week, two weeks if you need me to. I got an extension on a paper and get to send in another one via email instead of having to hand it in personally. I’m good. I’m not so sure about you, though.”

“Well, what do you expect? I put my best friend in the hospital. I literally shot him in the back. I may not have done it on purpose, but I did it. How do we move on from that?”

Danny looks so dejected, so broken, that Grace’s heart is aching for him. She squeezes his hand even harder.

“I’m so sorry this happened to you. To both of you. I don’t know what to say to make it better, if I even can. Just know that I’m here for you. I know you’re feeling horrible and I don’t want to imagine anyone ever having to go through this situation. Especially not my father. You’re a good person, and a good cop. You’ve always taken your job seriously and been careful. If there is one thing you are not, then it’s being careless. I’ve never felt safer when I’m with you, and Steve felt the same way.”

“Look where that’s gotten him,” Danny shakes his head and rubs his face with both hands, fisting his hair and tugging at it in desperation lightly. “Look what I’ve done.”

“How about you look at what you’ve done? You all were in danger. You had to fire your weapon, as you did so many times before. I heard it all from Chin. You fired two magazines and hit your targets spot on. One single bullet ricocheted and hit Steve in the back. It was an unfortunate accident, Dad. It says so in the official report, you were cleared and the investigation was closed. Don’t doubt yourself over one incident after all those years of outstanding work.”

Grace watches Danny intensely, her eyes full of compassion. She reaches for his hands yet again and holds them, wanting to keep her father from hurting himself even more than he already has. Danny looks at their entwined fingers and takes a shuddering intake of air.

“I don’t know how to face him.”

“Cleaning up yourself might be a start,” Grace suggests softly and shrugs. “If I was in the same situation you’re in, I probably would behave the same way. But Danno, right now, you’re only hurting yourself and Steve even more. You had time to grieve and be upset. It’s got to stop now. It’s time to get up, get yourself ready, and see him. You know I’m right. I’m not saying it will be easy. You probably won’t feel better for a while. You can’t do anything about that. What you can do, though, is be there for Steve. He is still very weak, despite what his escape plans to get you out of your shell might suggest. He has a tough road ahead of him, and he knows it. Danno, he needs his best friend for it. He needs your support. Right now, right here, you’re not helping anyone.”

Danny is silent as he looks down at himself and his worn clothes, gradually becoming more aware of how badly he let himself go. He sighs before taking in a deep breath and scooting closer to the edge of the bed, getting up. His legs feel shaky at first, but Grace’s hand on his shoulder quickly steadies him. That he hasn’t heard her follow him speaks volume how out of it he is, and he nods at her.

“Thank you, Grace. For everything.”

“You’re welcome. Now go, take a shower and put on some clean clothes. I’m appalled, you’re beginning to look like some of my fellow students after a weekend of binge drinking,” Grace wrinkles her nose but twinkles her eyes playfully.

“That bad, huh?” Danny grumbles and shuffles through his drawer, getting out a set of fresh clothes. “Well, I’m on my way.”

As he turns around to head for the bathroom, he finds that Grace has already taken control of the situation. In this short moment, she has opened the windows to let in some fresh air, stripped his bedding and is in the process of putting on a new set of sheets. It’s not a position he wanted to put his daughter in, and he feels a bit uncomfortable that she had to see him this way, but he’s glad she’s there and he tells her so.

“It’s fine. I’m glad I came. Now please, go take your shower. I’ll take care of the rest. And we’ll get you dinner on the way to the hospital, otherwise they might mistake you for a patient and keep you there. Alright?”

Danny smiles and, mindful of his state, gives her a hug.

“I love you, Monkey. Thanks for coming. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Yeah well, good thing we don’t have to find out. I’ll always be here for you, Danno. I love you, too.”

***

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two more chapters after this one.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grace's first - and only - wedding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ‘Firsts’ written by EmptySky, betaed by Celeste6.

**Chapter 25: Grace’s first - and only - wedding**

_ Danny: 49 years old _

_ Grace: 24 years old _

Danny is looking at himself in the full-length mirror critically. His hair is slicked back perfectly, yet, he runs his hands over the blonde strands meticulously while tilting his head to make sure everything really is in order and staying that way. Satisfied with the result, he begins fiddling with his tie, tightening it ever so slightly and making sure it’s hidden beneath his collar. He pats himself down to check that his white dress shirt is tucked inside his pants before closing the jacket again. He brushes imaginary pieces of lint off the black suit and bends over to check his pants for wrinkles. Lastly, Danny inspects the state of his shoes, relieved to find them as neatly polished as they were two minutes ago. He straightens back up and nods at his reflection. It doesn’t matter that he has done his routine four times in a row, every single time coming to find that he looks impeccable. He is nervous, needing to keep himself busy as he waits.

Another minute passes and he sighs. He cracks his knuckles out of habit and flexes his fingers. He is about to start another round of pacing in a circle, maybe to end up in front of the mirror yet again, when a door to his left opens. Danny spins around and exhales noisily as a small group of smiling young women makes their way past him and through the big folding doors across the room. Rachel is the last to exit and walks up to him with an even happier expression on her face.

“How are we doing, all good?”

“She is ready, awfully nervous though. Maybe you can do something about it? You’ve got about four minutes before you’re coming in,” Rachel says and shares a knowing smile with Danny as she lightly kisses his cheek, hugging him and then too disappearing through the folding doors.

Danny looks after Rachel until she is gone before quickly turning around at a faint rustling sound coming from behind his back. What little cool he might have possessed is quickly gone, the sight of Grace appearing at the back door in her white dress and her hair done up causing tears to spring to his eyes.

“You look so beautiful,” Danny says and takes out his white handkerchief from his pocket, using it to wipe over his eyes.

Graces shakes her head, her fancy curls bopping in the process. “No! You cannot cry, because if you start crying, then I’ll start crying, and I’m  _ not _ doing the make-up again!”

Danny sniffles and lets the handkerchief disappear back inside his suit jacket. He walks up to his daughter, looks her over with an appreciative though suspiciously watery smile and kisses her forehead, carefully hugging her while mindful not to disturb the dress.

“I can’t help it. You look stunning!”

Grace blushes and looks down at herself. Instead of giving her father a response, she begins to fidget with her dress. She smoothes down some nonexistent wrinkles, pulls the top a little higher and straightens the back of her dress, despite it being in perfect shape. Danny laughs when he realizes she is using the same outlet for her nervousness as he did before, and touches her arm to stop her.

“I mean it, Grace. You look flawless. The guy won’t be able to take his eyes off of you when you walk down the aisle. Trust me. Stop worrying about your looks. Look, I’ve got to officially hand you over in a minute. Let me have this moment where I can pretend you’re still my little girl and that it hasn’t been 24 years already.”

“Hand me over? What am I, the keys to your new car? Come on, Dad. It’s not the Dark Ages where you marry me off without ever getting to see me again. He and I have been living together for a while already, technically, nothing will change,” Grace tries to appease her sentimental father, before looking around worried. “Where’s… oh, there it is. Thank you!”

Grace takes the bouquet of white and red plumeria Danny snatches from the side table and brings it to her face, smelling at the flowers. She smiles at the scent, but then lets her hands sink to rest in front of her dress and forlornly looks towards the folding doors leading into the church. She starts worrying at her lip before remembering that she is wearing lipstick that might smear, and sighs.

“Is it too late to run?” She asks jokingly, but then grows more serious. “Dad, really. Am I making a mistake? I’ve waited for today ever since the proposal, but now that it’s happening I feel like throwing up.”

“It’s not too late until you’ve signed the official documents, babe. Unfortunately, I can’t help you because I planned on getting really drunk tonight and left the car at home. Relax, Grace. Take a deep breath,” Danny instructs and smiles, remembering how he had felt on his wedding day, his emotions all over the place. “I know how you’re feeling and it’s completely normal. I promise you, once you see him waiting for you as you walk down the aisle, all of that will be forgotten. I went through the same thing. I was nervous, a bit shaky until I saw Rachel. And I think Rachel threw up right before putting on her dress, and she was fine afterwards.”

Grace’s eyes get wider. “Somehow, that doesn’t calm me at all. You got divorced, remember?”

Danny puts his hands on her upper arms and gently turns her towards him. His whole posture, his voice and his eyes convey confidence and calm, which Grace latches on to desperately in order not to freak out entirely.

“Grace, when your mother and I met, we hit it off right away. There was this instant attraction and I knew she was the one for me. Rachel and I loved each other very much. Love is necessary and vital to a relationship, for obvious reasons. But sometimes, love alone isn’t enough. Because there will be rough times, where other feelings might take over, and love alone won’t hold you up. You need to have a strong foundation to fall back on, to build the rest on. Love is great, but you have to work at your relationship,” Danny says and shrugs. “It can be hard work, but it’s important and you can’t let yourself be discouraged. We loved each other, but we lost perspective when other things became more important. We didn’t fight for each other, and eventually we weren’t willing to do sacrifices for each other when it mattered. I abandoned her when she needed me there, and she couldn’t accept me for prioritizing work. I’m not going to delve deeper, Grace, not on your wedding day. Sweetheart, just because it didn’t work out for us doesn’t mean your relationship will meet the same fate. You saw our marriage crumble. You know what to look out for. As long as you both want this, respect each other, talk, and stick together, you’ll be fine.”

Danny brushes his index finger against her cheek and smiles at her, nodding encouragingly. Grace smells at her flowers again and closes her eyes. When she opens them again, she seems calmer and determined. She returns the smile.

“Any last words?”

“Are you kidding me? After the speech I just gave? I won’t have anything left for the speech at the reception!” Danny laughs and twinkles his eyes. “You and me, we’re good. I think I taught you everything important that I know. And I’m not going anywhere. Even with you being married I’ll always be there with advice, should you want it. You’re an adult, working a secure job, living in a nice apartment, and you’re marrying a good guy. I’m not worried at all.”

Grace smiles even wider. “I’m glad. I wasn’t even sure you’d ever let me go out with a boy. Thanks for going against your instincts to lock me away.”

“I couldn’t. There’s a law against that,” Danny jokes and jabs Grace’s arm lightly. “Yes, it’s not easy for me to let you go. I never would have if I wasn’t absolutely sure he was a good guy. You’ll always be the most important thing in my life, but I can see how happy you are around him. Seeing you happy is what I want most.”

Grace wipes at her eyes and hugs Danny tightly, kissing his cheek.

“Thank you so much, Danno.”

Danny returns the hug before letting go, though keeping one arm wrapped around her waist. “You’re welcome. Did I mention that Steve used all of his contacts to check him out? That guy is a lamb. Seriously.”

“Dad…”

“No, really! Steve and I decided to sit down with him anyway, just to be on the safe side. He knows to never break your heart. We made it perfectly clear how to treat my daughter. We also might have mentioned that we know how to dispose of a body without leaving evidence. I think that really scared him. He’d have to be insane to hurt you in any way.”

Grace rolls her eyes, but leans into her father’s side, gratefully. They remain in this position for a while and only separate when music can be heard from inside the church room, both wiping at their eyes. Danny gently brushes away a stray tear Grace missed, his eyes brimming red.

“Are you ready?”

Grace clutches her bouquet in front of her with one hand, takes a deep breath and nods. Danny places a last kiss to her temple before straightening his back. He offers Grace his arm, which she gently takes.

Together, they walk through the doors and down the aisle, where people stand up to marvel at his beautiful daughter. And with Danny’s heart bursting with happiness and aching at the same time, he gives his daughter away.

***

  
  



	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grace has her first baby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ‘Firsts’ written by EmptySky, chapter betaed by Celeste6.

 

**Chapter 26: Grace has her first baby**

_ Danny: 51 years old _

_ Grace: 26 years old _

Danny has not changed much over the years, those who have known him for a long time can attest to that. He still has the same values, the same quirks and character traits that make him who he is. Fatherhood suited him well and only strengthened his desire to protect and serve, and made him even more determined to be a good man. The slight changes that occurred over time can probably be accredited to aging. Danny is not as hotheaded as he used to be when he was younger. In fact, one could say that - at least at times - he possesses the patience of a saint. He has to when it comes to working with Steve. After knowing the man for almost twenty years, there were moments where Danny had no other choice but to calm himself and relax if he wanted to avoid dying from a sudden stroke or a heart attack. He had yelled at his partner for more than a decade and seldom succeeded in reasoning with him, so he had eventually changed his tactics. And it had worked, for the most part. Maybe it is because they are both in their fifties now, but Danny really has become more laid back after celebrating his fiftieth birthday the year before.

There are still more gunfights and crazy high-speed pursuits than Danny would care for, and random insane gung-ho attempts from Steve to catch a suspect - much to Danny’s chagrin - but overall their age makes itself felt. After Steve’s debilitating injury five years ago, the two reevaluated their friendship as well as their work relationship and grew even closer together. They are more careful, more mellow now, though as successful as ever - having the highest solving rate of the state. What has not changed, however, is that Danny has never been good at waiting. It’s not his strongest forte, by far, as he’d rather get things done without delay. 

That he has been waiting for four hours, with no end in sight yet, is hard. He is nervous, very much so. It even worse than the time he waited for his daughter to come back from her first date. He doesn’t know what to do with himself. Danny is antsy and can’t remain in one position for more than half a minute. Ever since Steve dropped him off, he’s been walking around. Sitting still is impossible, no matter how comfortable the chairs in the waiting area may be.

It’s when Danny’s feet start burning from all the restless pacing he has done that he decides to give the chairs another shot and drops down on a cushioned seat attached to the wall. He bends over with a huff, puts his elbows on his knees and rests his chin on his fists. He stares blankly ahead as he forces himself to breathe evenly in order to lower his steadily raising blood pressure. He hates waiting, even under normal circumstances.  _ This _ is torture. Danny looks at his watch once more, as if glaring at the digits alone would help, and he rubs his face with a groan. He can think of a dozen more occasions that went by quicker, including the time he lost his then-four-year-old at the mall, or when he got a call that his daughter was in hospital and he didn’t know how she was doing. Both had felt like an eternity to him.

Danny gets up and resumes pacing when sitting down isn’t doing anything for him anymore. He’s aware of the sharp look Rachel throws his way, but he ignores it. He had been married long enough to recognize the signs of when he was truly in trouble, even if it was almost to the day twenty years ago. Rachel is just as nervous judging from the way she clutches Stan’s hand as they wait across the room. They reprimanded him an hour ago, saying that his constant pacing was driving them crazy, but their chiding had not lasted long before Danny had been up and walking again. If they were fine sitting around, then alright, but he couldn’t help himself.

The doors leading to the restricted area open once more, as they have been doing many times during the last hours Danny has been here. He barely spares more than a quick glance, ready to be disappointed yet again. His heart skips a beat when this time he sees his son-in-law approaching with shaking hands and a dazed expression on his face.

“The baby is here, it’s finally here. Grace was a trooper, she did such a great job. Oh… uhm… it’s a girl!”

Danny sinks down on a chair, holding onto the armrest tightly as he processes the news. He sees Rachel and Stan hug each other before getting up and congratulating Ikaika, Grace’s husband. They ask question after question, but Ikaika doesn’t seem to be all there. He smiles stupidly, wearing the same dazed expression of shock, wonder, and amazement Danny recognizes feeling himself all those years ago. That’s when it sinks in.

He has a granddaughter.

When he feels like his legs will hold him up again, Danny gets up and approaches the Hawaiian native. He draws him in for a tight hug before releasing him, shaking his hand exuberantly.

“Can we go see them yet?” Rachel chimes in and squeezes both Stan’s hand as well as Danny’s arm, barely able to contain her excitement.

“In a few minutes, yes. Grace and the baby are doing very well, but Grace is very tired. They were both getting cleaned up when I left to talk to you. I think she needs a few minutes, but then she’d like some visitors,” Ikaika announces before shaking all of their hands again and disappearing back through the automatic doors to be with his family.

“That went rather fast now, though,” Stan remarks and shrugs when Danny looks at him incredulously. “What? Rachel said she was in labor for over thirty hours. In comparison, this went fast!”

Danny nods. “If you put it like that, sure. That was rough! Do you remember how you almost broke my finger?”

Rachel nods, and the two share a knowing smile. How could they forget, even if it was that long ago? They barely see each other these days; with Grace being an adult, the two no longer needing to be in contact to schedule visitation. Danny can name on one hand the occasions on which they met since Grace left for college. It only happens on special days like Grace’s birthday, when they’re all invited at the same time. Last year, Danny happened to meet Rachel when they were at the gas station at the same time. Their marriage had ended long ago, both having gone their separate ways. Danny has no hard feelings, not anymore.

He extends his hand to Stan and the two look into each other’s eyes. Stan is as much a part of Grace’s life as Danny is. He has been in her life since she was six years old and helped her become the person she is now. The men clap each other’s backs in congratulations before taking their distance again as they wait. Not long after, a nurse comes to take them to the back, ushering them into a room down the hall.

Ikaika is sitting at the edge of the bed, never having looked prouder as he nods at them and beckons for them to come closer. Grace is in the middle of the bed, focused on the small bundle in her arms, but looks up when her visitors enter.

Rachel immediately starts cooing as she hurries towards her daughter, kissing her and marveling at the baby, which she gets to hold not long after. Stan goes to follow her, but has the decency to let Danny go inside before he does. Whereas Stan focuses on the baby, Danny takes a place next to Grace and greets her with a kiss to the top of the head, looking her over carefully.

Grace looks exhausted. Her cheeks are still faintly red from the exertion of the past hours, her body language screams fatigue, and her hair - though combed back - is moist with perspiration. Yet, she radiates joy and beams up at him happily.

“Hey grandpa,” she jokes and leans against him when he hugs her softly.

Danny laughs. “Yep, that’s me… Congratulations, sweetheart, you did it. I promise you, this is the best purpose in life you will ever have.”

“It’s a bit overwhelming,” Grace admits and faces him with a look full of understanding. “I get it now, though. All of it. Thank you, Dad!”

Danny feels himself tear up and shares another smile with her, brushing his hand over her head before switching his focus. He waits another moment, during which Rachel and Stan merrily fuss over the baby, then sighs and impatiently snaps his fingers.

“Alright, that’s enough. Hand her over, my turn now!”

Rachel doesn’t react at first, but at Danny’s insistence gets up and slowly walks over to him, all the while making faces at the newborn. Together, they carefully transfer the small bundle from one arm to the other, both gently cradling the head. Danny feels strangely giddy and he can feel himself begin to grin madly, but he doesn’t care. He wants this moment for himself and sits down on a chair by the window, about three feet away from everyone else.

He raises her gently as he studies every feature of her little face, takes in every little detail. She looks slightly bigger than Grace was, has her father’s complexion, and already sports a head full of dark hair. Apart from that, she is definitely Grace’s daughter. The nose is the same, as is the shape of her mouth, which at this moment contorts to let out a soft mewl. It goes straight through Danny’s heart. He begins to rock her gently, stroking her cheek and smiles when she settles down again. Danny touches her tiny fist, traces the little fingers, and brings her up again, kissing her softly. He feels himself tear up and turns to smile at Grace, pure joy in his expression, and finds that she is watching him with an equally happy smile.

“She’s beautiful, Grace.”

“She is,” Grace agrees and smiles. “Good thing she’s got her Grandpa Danno looking out for her, and keeping all the boys away.”

Danny grins, but his heart feels a little warmer. While he’d love for his granddaughter to stay as little as she is, he’s already looking forward to experiencing the thrill of her calling him by his nickname for the first time, or being there when she hits the big milestones in her life like crawling, taking her first wobbly steps, getting and losing her first tooth, or learning how to ride a bike.

“Are there any all-girls schools on Hawaii?” Ikaika wonders out loud, at which Danny laughs out loud and backed up by Stan nods at his son-in-law encouragingly, while Rachel and Grace roll their eyes.

“Men… impossible!” Rachel sighs as she remembers the discussion on Grace’s first day of school, but then smiles. “Did you two decide on a name?”

Grace shares a long look with her husband, both smiling at the other mischievously, and she focuses back on her family at Ikaika’s nod.

“We did, actually, fairly quickly so. We want her to have both a Hawaiian and an English name, to combine our roots. She’s most special to us, so we decided to name her after the special and strongest people in our life. Her name is Malia Danielle.”

Danny does a sharp intake of air and looks up in shock. He sees Grace grin at him, tears in her eyes as well.

“Really?”

“Yes, really. I want her to be proud of her name, and she is named after one of the strongest, most selfless, courageous, and loving people we know. Malia is for Ikaika’s mom, obviously. We wanted to tell you when we were all together, but unfortunately, since this little one decided to come a week earlier than expected, they’re still at the airport trying to get an earlier flight home,” Grace explains and softly squeezes her husband’s hand. “I’m not sure if I want another one after what I just went through, though I fear we might want more to add to the family just from looking at her cute little face.”

Danny still stares at her, not able to believe what he heard. Grace nods at him again and shares a satisfied grin with her husband as they hug and kiss. Danny looks back at the baby, truly in awe. His namesake has settled and is well on her way to falling asleep as he holds her. He vaguely registers the others talking, but he only has eyes for his granddaughter. A granddaughter.

It’s like Grace’s birth all over again. He feels something surge up in him that he has not felt for a while. There’s a new determination, a new passion sweeping over him, as well as the deepest love there is. He loves Malia, and he knows that he will protect her as much as he protected Grace. He’ll keep the island safe, for her and her family. He’ll be there for as much of her life as possible - for birthdays, Christmases, vacations as well as everyday life - to guide her and spoil her rotten. It’s yet another new chapter beginning for him.

And what a journey it has been so far, though Danny isn’t done by a long shot. He has come a long way, from being a kid in New Jersey to being a grandfather in Hawaii. He has achieved a lot, despite all setbacks, and he has built a new life here - even if he hadn’t come willingly at the beginning. The people he has met, the impact he has made in other people’s lives, the positive experiences he got to make and the way his life has changed for the better: he’d never have thought it possible. He has found the best friends one could wish for, after having had to give up everything else. And even though retirement is slowly but steadily approaching, and seeming even more appealing with the sleeping bundle in his arms, he has the best job he could have gotten. He raised his daughter here in Hawaii, who turned into a beautiful and responsible woman, and who has just reached another milestone herself by becoming a mother. Making him a  _ grandfather _ . The term still sounds weird in his head, but it feels just right. He feels even more anchored to the island now, and it makes him miss New Jersey even less. Maybe there was something good about Hawaii, after all. And though it has taken him all this time to admit it out loud, he has never been happier anywhere else. He has embraced the island and considers it home. And that is a first.

**THE END**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This is it! Thanks to my beta readers whotellsyourstory (especially you for bouncing back and forth ideas with me), pearlydewdrop and Celeste6. Thank you to everyone who read the story. I hope you had as much fun reading this as I had writing it. A huge thank you to everyone who left a comment. It means a lot to me to see that you liked the story enough to take a little bit of your time and let me know about it. It feels very encouraging and rewarding. Thank you all so much!!!


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